talk to aurora i don't know if you like her or hate her but i know she doesn't want you dead i promise
and if you want a second opinion or to find a way to make sure you never have to worry about it we can find it together but right now she's the only one i know she has your file
a lot of people don't like her. but i trust her about this long enough that we can try and find another way
[ Just to be sure. Certain for now. He knows it must be terrifying, even if he's never had to feel or be in this position before. But the idea that someone controls if you live or die; someone you don't even know...
He just wants Maria to be safe. ]
i'll be here
[ He wishes he had something more helpful to say. Is that comforting? But okay, maybe he's worrying too, now. ]
[it is a terrifying existence and it's one she's certainly gotten upset enough over. now with James gone from this kind of situation, she feels helpless once more. like she's stuck in Silent Hill again.
but she didn't want to put that on Gorgug. that wasn't why she'd texted him.]
thanks.
if I do end up disappearing then just know I'm glad we got to talk and know each other. thank you for all the help you've given me.
[way to make this really depressing, Maria! but she'd wanted to let him know.]
One day, she might. One day, he might be the one to go, to make his friends sad, and then-- what will happen to his world? His parents? Will it be a good thing, or bad thing? Gorgug isn't thinking about that right now. He's looking down at the words, like what she said before didn't hit him hard enough to start imagining, she could disappear right now.
She could come back if she did. If it counts as a death. And that's a loop he doesn't want to think of. Logically, he believes that Aurora or whoever wouldn't have made a back up for Maria. A means of keeping her around without another person. Especially if they were going to take him away. ]
talk to aurora i can make something give me a couple of hours i'll keep my earpiece on
[ Wherever he is, whatever he was doing--it doesn't matter. He's going to his workshop. He'll make a-- a warding bond. It has to help, right? It's a connection. It'll link them. It could keep her safe, just for a little while. Why is he sitting around and just hoping? ]
[Maria isn't sure what Gorgug could make her that would mean anything or do away with how she is particularly cursed. she doesn't exist without James. or she hadn't. she had always been tied to him. how could anybody do anything that would change that?
she had messaged Aurora, though, and anxiously paced. practically jumped out of her skin when she got the notification. when she got the message back, telling her she would not, she is still not sure she believes it. technically Aurora has no reason to lie and that's not quite why Maria doesn't believe it. much like her thoughts about Gorgug, she can't see how she's just here. on her own. as her own person. she's not really a person, is she?
but she messages Gorgug:] she says I'm not tied to him here
[ It doesn't take Gorgug long to get back to his workshop. To his books, to find the notes he's made in the past about warding bonds and to get out the metal he needs, brain already calculating a simple design. The design doesn't matter, so long as he can imagine Maria's wrist and not make it too big, too small--he can redecorate it later, make it different, new. He might need to if he really wants this to work; if he wants to make it useful. A better spell, a stronger tool to hold it.
Of course he does. Of course he will. Maria can even pick what it looks like, fashion it if she wants. As long as the foundation of it works.
Gorgug takes his artificer books, the ones surrounding his speciality: protection. Back when he had a clearer, simpler idea of who he wanted to be, instead of the different pies it feels like he dips his fingers into in Etraya. Wield an axe, defend his friends--it's been so useless here. He's felt so far from it, hasn't picked up the weapon since his infection, where then, he did this too: gave Vanessa a bangle, and nearly died for it.
Not that he's ever regretted that part. And not when it means Gorgug knows he can do it now, make it, with only the nagging in the back of his mind being that he doesn't know if it'll count: he doesn't know if it'll make a difference. He's taken his work and the materials to the crafting table by the time Maria gets back to him, and he hesitates what to say, reading it. Of course she doubts it--who wouldn't? Everyone doubts Aurora. Everyone doubts Etraya. It's fair, because their situation is unfair. This is unfair.
He doesn't want to make promises that aren't real. He thinks what to say, the best way to phrase this; thinks about making a voice message, but doesn't know if he wants to hear one back. Disappearing is scary, after all. Gorgug worried he would do it all the time, after dying.
So, finally, he responds back after four or five minutes (because writing it takes him much too long): ]
Where I'm from, there's ways to make bonds with people with magic. I don't know a lot about them but we can try and find you a back up. something so you don't have to worry? I know this is important and I don't want to sound like i'm just being optmistic. but there's a lot of magic and tools and I think if we really look we can find something
i'll get some books. i'll see if there's anything where you don't need someone to keep you stable. and i can try to make something now but i've never used it like this and it's limited? it makes a connection to me and another person. i can protect them over a distance
[ For a short while, and then he has to make the connection again. And it's meant to let him take on their pain, or an amount of it. But if he says that, she might say no. She'll see that it's useless.
But is it wrong to hope that it can't be? To pretend?
[Gorgug is correct, if Maria did know what this type of bond could do then she would say no. she wouldn't want Gorgug hurt on her account. not Gorgug, who has done all he can to help the ones around him. somebody as good and kind as him does not deserve that.
but for what Gorgug says, she's touched. before coming here, it had been only James. only James who never acted like he could tolerate her and didn't want to talk to her. if he'd had his way, she never would have come with him. she would have been left behind. for any shred of warmth from him, she'd had to manipulate and use any way she could to get him to do the things she needed him to do. she was lonely without him and lonely with him. stuck with a man who didn't want her around.
but here? people liked her. she didn't have to take on different roles to make it happen. people had helped her so easily and were friendly to her. seemed to like spending time with her. it was so new and it still takes her aback that anybody would put this kind of effort into her.
she had come to Gorgug just for information, really no ulterior motive. but someone like Gorgug? she should have known it might become this. of course she should have. she's still surprised and touched and happy someone could care about her.]
[ That's what he wants to do. Try. He wants to say he can do it, answer an easy Yes, but he also still needs to actually do it. Answering Yes would be too certain, too sure right now. ]
disappearing because some guy left sucks you still need to find some hobbies
[trying so hard for her is still more than she's used to. even if he doesn't make it work, even if it fails and she has to go away; knowing that Gorgug cared enough about her to try to help her stay?
it means more than he can ever know.]
Not a big fan of my everything being tied to him to be honest.....
i don't want you to go either. not if it means you're in trouble
[ Because if she goes back, what then? Gorgug doesn't know the situation between her and James, but it doesn't sound like a great situation. Familiars have that connection to that wizards, but something like Boggy the Frog is an entire different scale from Maria. Who talks to him and makes him feel nice and normal. Who tells him not to overwork himself. ]
you know, aurora said that if you don't want to go back, people can stay here. if you want to ask her. [ Which, also makes him think: ] are you okay if i ask how she's keeping you safe? if i can get data, we can understand it better. are you just linked to him?
[ Said, as if magic is ever that simple or straightforward. ]
[the idea of staying here...her immediate thought is yes. that is what she wants. but if James isn't here then that feels wrong. something instinctual in her tells her she needs to stay with James. she needs to be with him.
and that is so frustrating. there is no commenting on that. it's complicated. she doesn't know what to do about that.
the other stuff though?]
you can ask her but I want to explain things first? what I know anyway. it feels wrong if you don't hear it from me.
Can you make sure this stays private between us? can't kill all my intrigue.
[she considers this. when she talked to Heather, it had been emotional. and she's already emotional for many reasons.
but part of her doesn't like texting it. words staying behind and even if this is just to Gorgug, she doesn't think Gorgug would break a promise, it makes her nervous.]
[ He would've offered to come see her himself, but he also wants to keep working on the Warding Bond.
He'll have to take a break when she comes, but 20 minutes is a good amount of time. ]
20 min works. i'll have a bot meet you out front. its an octopus
fabian put a big gate around my workshop
[ He really needs more bots that aren't so weird. He's trying!!
At least the Bad Kids's Compound isn't too far from the trolley system, and it does stick out when one knows there's a 'big gate' around it: because it's a gate of gold surrounding a dome, a giant sea ship on land (and surrounded by fancy gardens), and then a Random Building.
But there will be a metallic octopus by the gate leading to the large dome, sitting above the fancy gate work with two tentacles curled around the gold metal. It will get off when Maria does finally approach, 'swimming' through the air towards inside the dome and towards the larger of two buildings inside.
There's a lot of layers to getting into Gorgug's workshop, it seems. There's a door open leaidng inside a room with many work tables (in the centre, to the left, to the right--all with various metals and tools left around on their surfaces), a corner with beanie bags and pillows for relaxing, and then in a farther corner at the other end is Gorgug. He's standing by a rolling mill machine, putting through pieces of platinum metal to readjust their shape from the more cylinder shapes they're currently in.
And he's really cranking that handle to make that metal go through. Sloowly does it...! ]
[Maria may be depressed at this moment but even she can be amazed. as she walks through and tries to find Gorgug, the look of wonderment is obvious on her face as she looks around. a look that stays there even when she finally finds Gorgug.
she considers calling out but well, he looks like he's hard at work. she shouldn't bother him or maybe scare him. don't ruin his concentration! is this about the thing he'd told her about? she wonders.
it is awkward just standing there and maybe it's nosy but she keeps looking around his workshop, interested.]
[ It doesn't take long for Gorgug to notice Maria, fortunately. When she comes into the workshop, the metal octopus floats along in the air. Its limbs squeak now and then as it moves, but Gorgug's attention is on flattening out the platinum metal that he doesn't hear as the robot approaches from behind, taps him on the shoulder with a single tentacle...
...and then camoflagues into the environment as Gorgug turns around with a 'Huh? What?', only to see Maria over at another part of the workshop. ] Oh! H-hey.
[ He kept his headphones off, and he still didn't hear her come in! On the tables, there's a couple designs for animal mechanicals, as well as a few small robot-esque designs similar to the companion bots, if they were shorter. Some hand-sized miniatures of the designs, too, that Maria might see.
But Gorgug is all on Maria, coming over from the back end of the workshop to over to her. He's dressed the same as usually, a hoodie and skinny jeans, and he slows as he comes close to her, looking around. ] Um, I have a-- kitchen, if you don't like it in here. Or I've got a sitting place-- over there. I hang out there, and read.
[ He points over to the corner with the bundle of pillows and beanie bags, the low coffee table, before shoving his hand back into his hoodie pocket. A little nervous, like he's aware he needs to be-- delicate today, right? He needs to consider Maria. And he's trying. ]
[she feels like it would be very easy to to just ask about the designs he has. the octopus. distract them both from why she's actually here because she doesn't want to talk about what she is. Maria tries to avoid it as best as she can. it's something ugly to think about and to live. she prefers to get lost in just being Maria.
but Gorgug can be trusted. she's going to tell him because he wants to help her.
so she smiles.]
Let's sit, yeah? Might as well get comfy before we ruin the whole mysterious vibe I got going on.
[ He pulls a small smile, like a reassurance, but walks with that said over to the pillow collection pile. Usually, he would drop with a thunk down, but he crouches after turning to face outward, and sits politely with his knees bent. Touches the goggles on top of his head, before resting his hands over his knees.
And he would speak, but this seems like Maria's time to speak. No need to make her feel rushed.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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no
aurora says they go back but she can't show proof from protected worlds
[ There's a reason why Maria's asking, right? For herself, or for someone else. ]
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underneath the hospital is protected and there's not a lot of oxygen
[ There's a pause, and maybe Maria ia already texting back with those messages, but- ]
are you okay?
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James is gone. The man from my world? and it's complicated but there's really no me without him so I'm not sure how long I'm here.
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wait, so, what-- ]
like
Literally?
like a bond?
magic?
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but we'll go with a bond I guess
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[ Okay, ummm. ]
talk to aurora
i don't know if you like her or hate her but i know she doesn't want you dead
i promise
and if you want a second opinion or to find a way to make sure you never have to worry about it we can find it together
but right now she's the only one i know
she has your file
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I was hoping you wouldn't say I had to talk to her. something about her makes me so uncomfortable.
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long enough that we can try and find another way
[ Just to be sure. Certain for now. He knows it must be terrifying, even if he's never had to feel or be in this position before. But the idea that someone controls if you live or die; someone you don't even know...
He just wants Maria to be safe. ]
i'll be here
[ He wishes he had something more helpful to say. Is that comforting? But okay, maybe he's worrying too, now. ]
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but she didn't want to put that on Gorgug. that wasn't why she'd texted him.]
thanks.
if I do end up disappearing then just know I'm glad we got to talk and know each other. thank you for all the help you've given me.
[way to make this really depressing, Maria! but she'd wanted to let him know.]
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One day, she might. One day, he might be the one to go, to make his friends sad, and then-- what will happen to his world? His parents? Will it be a good thing, or bad thing? Gorgug isn't thinking about that right now. He's looking down at the words, like what she said before didn't hit him hard enough to start imagining, she could disappear right now.
She could come back if she did. If it counts as a death. And that's a loop he doesn't want to think of. Logically, he believes that Aurora or whoever wouldn't have made a back up for Maria. A means of keeping her around without another person. Especially if they were going to take him away. ]
talk to aurora
i can make something
give me a couple of hours
i'll keep my earpiece on
[ Wherever he is, whatever he was doing--it doesn't matter. He's going to his workshop. He'll make a-- a warding bond. It has to help, right? It's a connection. It'll link them. It could keep her safe, just for a little while. Why is he sitting around and just hoping? ]
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she had messaged Aurora, though, and anxiously paced. practically jumped out of her skin when she got the notification. when she got the message back, telling her she would not, she is still not sure she believes it. technically Aurora has no reason to lie and that's not quite why Maria doesn't believe it. much like her thoughts about Gorgug, she can't see how she's just here. on her own. as her own person. she's not really a person, is she?
but she messages Gorgug:] she says I'm not tied to him here
I'm not really convinced
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Of course he does. Of course he will. Maria can even pick what it looks like, fashion it if she wants. As long as the foundation of it works.
Gorgug takes his artificer books, the ones surrounding his speciality: protection. Back when he had a clearer, simpler idea of who he wanted to be, instead of the different pies it feels like he dips his fingers into in Etraya. Wield an axe, defend his friends--it's been so useless here. He's felt so far from it, hasn't picked up the weapon since his infection, where then, he did this too: gave Vanessa a bangle, and nearly died for it.
Not that he's ever regretted that part. And not when it means Gorgug knows he can do it now, make it, with only the nagging in the back of his mind being that he doesn't know if it'll count: he doesn't know if it'll make a difference. He's taken his work and the materials to the crafting table by the time Maria gets back to him, and he hesitates what to say, reading it. Of course she doubts it--who wouldn't? Everyone doubts Aurora. Everyone doubts Etraya. It's fair, because their situation is unfair. This is unfair.
He doesn't want to make promises that aren't real. He thinks what to say, the best way to phrase this; thinks about making a voice message, but doesn't know if he wants to hear one back. Disappearing is scary, after all. Gorgug worried he would do it all the time, after dying.
So, finally, he responds back after four or five minutes (because writing it takes him much too long): ]
Where I'm from, there's ways to make bonds with people with magic. I don't know a lot about them but we can try and find you a back up. something so you don't have to worry? I know this is important and I don't want to sound like i'm just being optmistic. but there's a lot of magic and tools and I think if we really look we can find something
i'll get some books. i'll see if there's anything where you don't need someone to keep you stable. and i can try to make something now but i've never used it like this and it's limited? it makes a connection to me and another person. i can protect them over a distance
[ For a short while, and then he has to make the connection again. And it's meant to let him take on their pain, or an amount of it. But if he says that, she might say no. She'll see that it's useless.
But is it wrong to hope that it can't be? To pretend?
...probably. ]
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but for what Gorgug says, she's touched. before coming here, it had been only James. only James who never acted like he could tolerate her and didn't want to talk to her. if he'd had his way, she never would have come with him. she would have been left behind. for any shred of warmth from him, she'd had to manipulate and use any way she could to get him to do the things she needed him to do. she was lonely without him and lonely with him. stuck with a man who didn't want her around.
but here? people liked her. she didn't have to take on different roles to make it happen. people had helped her so easily and were friendly to her. seemed to like spending time with her. it was so new and it still takes her aback that anybody would put this kind of effort into her.
she had come to Gorgug just for information, really no ulterior motive. but someone like Gorgug? she should have known it might become this. of course she should have. she's still surprised and touched and happy someone could care about her.]
You're really doing this all for me?
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[ That's what he wants to do. Try. He wants to say he can do it, answer an easy Yes, but he also still needs to actually do it. Answering Yes would be too certain, too sure right now. ]
disappearing because some guy left sucks
you still need to find some hobbies
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it means more than he can ever know.]
Not a big fan of my everything being tied to him to be honest.....
it's made it hard to find hobbies
[there's a moment and then...]
Thank you Gorgug. I don't want to leave here yet
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[ Because if she goes back, what then? Gorgug doesn't know the situation between her and James, but it doesn't sound like a great situation. Familiars have that connection to that wizards, but something like Boggy the Frog is an entire different scale from Maria. Who talks to him and makes him feel nice and normal. Who tells him not to overwork himself. ]
you know, aurora said that if you don't want to go back, people can stay here. if you want to ask her. [ Which, also makes him think: ] are you okay if i ask how she's keeping you safe?
if i can get data, we can understand it better. are you just linked to him?
[ Said, as if magic is ever that simple or straightforward. ]
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and that is so frustrating. there is no commenting on that. it's complicated. she doesn't know what to do about that.
the other stuff though?]
you can ask her but I want to explain things first? what I know anyway. it feels wrong if you don't hear it from me.
Can you make sure this stays private between us? can't kill all my intrigue.
[and yet she's still joking.]
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do you want to talk about it in person? you can come to my workshop. no one else is here except my bots. and they don't gossip. they can't really talk
[ He's never tried programming that into them, that's for another project. ]
but we can talk like this if it's easier
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but part of her doesn't like texting it. words staying behind and even if this is just to Gorgug, she doesn't think Gorgug would break a promise, it makes her nervous.]
let me freshen up and head over. In 20 ok?
to action!
He'll have to take a break when she comes, but 20 minutes is a good amount of time. ]
20 min works. i'll have a bot meet you out front. its an octopus
fabian put a big gate around my workshop
[ He really needs more bots that aren't so weird. He's trying!!
At least the Bad Kids's Compound isn't too far from the trolley system, and it does stick out when one knows there's a 'big gate' around it: because it's a gate of gold surrounding a dome, a giant sea ship on land (and surrounded by fancy gardens), and then a Random Building.
But there will be a metallic octopus by the gate leading to the large dome, sitting above the fancy gate work with two tentacles curled around the gold metal. It will get off when Maria does finally approach, 'swimming' through the air towards inside the dome and towards the larger of two buildings inside.
There's a lot of layers to getting into Gorgug's workshop, it seems. There's a door open leaidng inside a room with many work tables (in the centre, to the left, to the right--all with various metals and tools left around on their surfaces), a corner with beanie bags and pillows for relaxing, and then in a farther corner at the other end is Gorgug. He's standing by a rolling mill machine, putting through pieces of platinum metal to readjust their shape from the more cylinder shapes they're currently in.
And he's really cranking that handle to make that metal go through. Sloowly does it...! ]
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she considers calling out but well, he looks like he's hard at work. she shouldn't bother him or maybe scare him. don't ruin his concentration! is this about the thing he'd told her about? she wonders.
it is awkward just standing there and maybe it's nosy but she keeps looking around his workshop, interested.]
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...and then camoflagues into the environment as Gorgug turns around with a 'Huh? What?', only to see Maria over at another part of the workshop. ] Oh! H-hey.
[ He kept his headphones off, and he still didn't hear her come in! On the tables, there's a couple designs for animal mechanicals, as well as a few small robot-esque designs similar to the companion bots, if they were shorter. Some hand-sized miniatures of the designs, too, that Maria might see.
But Gorgug is all on Maria, coming over from the back end of the workshop to over to her. He's dressed the same as usually, a hoodie and skinny jeans, and he slows as he comes close to her, looking around. ] Um, I have a-- kitchen, if you don't like it in here. Or I've got a sitting place-- over there. I hang out there, and read.
[ He points over to the corner with the bundle of pillows and beanie bags, the low coffee table, before shoving his hand back into his hoodie pocket. A little nervous, like he's aware he needs to be-- delicate today, right? He needs to consider Maria. And he's trying. ]
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but Gorgug can be trusted. she's going to tell him because he wants to help her.
so she smiles.]
Let's sit, yeah? Might as well get comfy before we ruin the whole mysterious vibe I got going on.
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[ He pulls a small smile, like a reassurance, but walks with that said over to the pillow collection pile. Usually, he would drop with a thunk down, but he crouches after turning to face outward, and sits politely with his knees bent. Touches the goggles on top of his head, before resting his hands over his knees.
And he would speak, but this seems like Maria's time to speak. No need to make her feel rushed.
She can start when she wants to. ]
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cw: brief mention of suicide contemplation
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