[the smile on her face shows just how grateful she is for him saying that.
as she sits down, she wonders where to begin. with Heather, it had been easier to know. what Heather already knew. with Gorgug? it was more complicated.
after a brief silence, she begins.] This is hard. I don't know where to start? So I'll just...start from the top? [but even that's confusing and she sighs.] One day I just woke up and I was all by myself. There was nobody around, just monsters, and all I knew was my name was Maria, I had worked at Heaven's Night, and I had to find James. That's really all there is to me, Gorgug. There is no mysterious past. I'm not...real? [she winces at her own word choice. she hates this. hates always having to confront what she is.]
I was made for James. I'm tied to him because I only exist if he needs me, if he wants me. Which is why it makes no sense I'm here. He made it loud and clear he didn't want me. When he was here I thought 'oh, maybe he does want me after all'? Now? No idea.
It's not his immediate reaction, of course. Gorgug watches Maria--patiently, a slight furrow to his brow that shows his concern that he's been carrying for her since after she texted him, but he's got time. He's in no rush now, though there's the pressure of apprehension that comes with a conversation like this. But Gorgug listens; that brow perhaps dipping in further as he does so, but he's following. There was no one but monsters, she knew a few things about herself, but nothing else-- she's not real?
Made for him. But how? This is the time where he feels like he needs to be smart, to consider what she's saying. Gorgug doesn't think he's ever heard or met another person made for someone, though there feels like there's something missing. Lacking.
That can't just be it, right? ]
...was there, [ he starts, voice slow as he thinks, ] someone called Maria that James knew? Or a-- Maria at the... Heaven's Night? Did you see anything like that?
[ Any proof? Evidence? There's a name and occupation, and then a connection to James. There's something there, maybe, even if-- Gorgug isn't the brightest. But it's some kind of magic, right? Some kind of magical... fuckery. ]
James had a wife named Mary, who got really sick and passed away. [she won't go into the details of how that happened. Maria would still keep her promise to James to stay quiet about Mary's fate. she didn't like to think about it anyway.]
I look like her, I sound like her, but I'm not quite like her. James thought he got a letter from her, asking him to find her in their "special place", Silent Hill. The town I woke up in. James wanted his wife back but men will be men...no offense. [it is what it is, Gorgug] So I'm not some perfect copy of her. Guess you can say I'm supposed to be his wish come true.
[ Men will be men. He tips his head in a not-disagreeable, sheepish manner. Ehhhh, he can't deny it. Hell, could he love someone enough to want to make them come back? ... He would pay for it.
The details sort of explain some things, but leave out others. A man's wife dies and a not-accurate copy of his wife is created. It would make sense, except for the parts that get in the way. Like a very important detail: ]
So... someone made you for him, but he didn't know about it? He got a letter. And then you woke up. [ He pauses, and yeah--really trying to use his nogging here, his gaze narrowing. ] Did he find out who sent the letter? And I guess-- if you woke up, and he showed up...
[ Hmm- ]
Do you think that happened at the same time? That's why... you think you're connected?
I wouldn't say it was someone sent the letter and someone created me. It was just...the town? It has powers. I guess some people would call it magic but that's too beautiful for what that place is. Some people think gods live there and it sure isn't that either. That town...it draws people to it. People who feel guilty and James was one of them. It punishes people who want to be punished.
[she looks to Gorgug and when she knows what she's going to talk about next, she looks away.] I've died. I've been impaled more than once. Just to punish him. Even when I try to stay away, I end up right back with him. It's like this cycle I can't break. I don't think we're connected, I know we are. He's the only one who could see me. Nobody else ever could.
Okay. [ The way he says it, and the way he nods, is acknowledging her--showing he understands that it's not a think, it's a know: not wanting to undermine that, and his expression slightly more concerned under the furrowed brow, the way he always gets when he's trying to concentrate.
The world that Maria, James, Vincent, and Heather come from can have monsters in them. 'Magical' abilities are weird, and they have gods-- it's hard to remember they all come from the same world, but it's a thought in the back of Gorgug's mind. Not that he knows if it's useful, but... ]
I can't say I know everything or even a lot about magic, or-- sites of power, you know, maybe the place is more of a curse. It sounds like a curse? But if you're still here, and James is gone, and you're not in that town... there's a good case that something's been done to turn... the way you're supposed to be, if James was the only guy who saw you before, but we all do now--
[ Then something's been changed. It's not that they all have some special ability that makes them capable of seeing Maria, if that was never possible for people before.
He doesn't finish his sentence, but figures she can assume where he's going with that. Even explains, since, the thing about magic, or powers of that nature: ]
Where I'm from, with artificing or networking-- like the earpiece? [ He taps at his ear, indicating to it again. ] We can use magic to interact with technology, or use technology to make... magic. Do spells in a way... that's different from the way-- wizards do chants, or read scriptures.
So it could be that-- Echo or Aurora translated something about you, so you-- so James isn't the only person who sees you. Or so you don't need him to be around, but you're-- linked to here? Or nowhere?
It's not impossible, [ he adds; his tightened brow less so, but not losing its cocern as he looks at Maria-- Maria, as here as she's ever been, but more compelx than Gorgug could've ever thought, ] if you're still here. And we see you.
[it's hard to explain just how much she knows it. how very intertwined she is with James even if she wishes she wasn't most of the time. things would be easier if she wasn't.
she tries to listen to Gorgug and make sense of it. even if she was created through some supernatural means, she has no understanding of it. of what she is. but Gorgug is at least explaining this simply and by the time he's done, she's nodding slowly.]
So then do you think maybe they have the same power that maybe Silent Hill has? Or something more powerful. I don't know. [if that's the truth, then that might be bad but she's not going to say that out loud.] But they made me tied to something here? Or I don't know, I became a real girl after all. [it's said as a joke with a huff of a laugh.]
Well... maybe they did? [ He doesn't want to give her hope, and he doesn't answer it like that. He knows she's joking, but there's a possibility, Gorgug thinks, still with that unsure expression on his face. ] You're not-- human, but that doesn't mean you're not real. Or you're not-- something. Something else. You still exist. You're-- Maria.
[ Because she talks about not being real, mentions it, and it doesn't feel right. Even though Gorgug thinks he can get it, with how human-centric other places seem to be.
He gestures at himself, even though: ] Where I'm from, we have a lot of guys and gals and nothing and everything that aren't born the same way. And I guess when someone or something makes a person to haunt another person, they don't go out and get a life or a job. [ ...the one doing the haunting, that is.
They usually have to be put down, but Gorgug is being delicate here! Careful!
And he's trying to make a point, has, but at the same time doesn't want to dismiss something else. Playing with his fingers at the end of his knees, his tone soft. ]
I know it can't feel great if people like you aren't common where you're from, and you were made for a really stupid reason, but... [ trying to think of a word, and he nods as, with all sincerity: ] You're valid. You're real and valid, Maria. And probably connected to cursed magic.
[there's a laugh because Gorgug really does share her confusion. Maria cannot say she has any idea what she is. but they can agree on one thing: she isn't human.
but for once, it doesn't feel so bad. not when Gorgug talks to her and says things like that. Heather had told her similar, saying she was real to her and that meant so much. never did she think she'd ever be more than simply James' manifestation he didn't even want. here she was, though. with an existence, relationships where she didn't have to play some role, and it was so nice. it was freeing.]
Yeah, probably connected to cursed magic. [she smiles at him and pats his knee.] Thank you, though. For saying all of that and trying to help me with all this. I never had help. James never...well, he had his own things going on, I guess. Him and I never talked about this. [she sighs and shakes her head.] But he's not here but I'm still trying to figure out his mess. Men. Again, no offense. You're one of the good ones.
[ He does pull at his lips--not quite a smile, nothing bright, but still meaning to be positive. ]
It's okay, my ex was part of an all-girl team. I got all the goss on men sucking. [ They suck!!! ]
We can still ask Aurora what she's doing so, we know what's up, and we can try and translate it into an item, if-- if you need a support? Some people need a tether, so, the way you were connected to James, or the town. The magic for that is... it might need a lot of juice, or just the right components.
[ He tried explaining it before over text, but he goes over it now, less of that desperation and worry over him, and now a more honest approach. Softly and slowly, when this is a subject surrounding Maria's--existence. ]
I've never done anything like this before, and... it might take a while, unless I can find someone who knows better about it. I wouldn't mention you, right away. [ That he slips in, not quickly, but still with a nod, understanding that she might not want this coming out. ]
But I want to try. And... we can try some things, in the meantime.
[she nods as she listens and now there's less desperation from herself, just a little less fear. she still isn't sure she believes Aurora (even though she hasn't been given a reason not to). her entire purpose has been to belong to James. no matter how he needed her. as a way to punish him or something else.
simply not being that? being her own person, what she always wanted? it feels so staggering.]
I'm willing to try whatever you have in mind. It's better than the alternative. If I go back to Silent Hill, it's just going to be the same thing and I'm tired of it. Why not try something new, you know?
I have practice making Warding Bonds. They're a piece of jewellery-- I was going to try making it like a bracelet-- [ and he shows his own wrist, running a finger across it ] --in case I can make the spell stronger. But it'll make a connection between us, and the way it works... [ His gaze narrows, thinking. ] 'Cause my energy is inside it, when I activate it, it means my energy can protect you. We'll have to test the distance, and, I'll need to work it so that maybe we can activate it, even when we're far away? I can try attuning the item to you, so the longer you wear it, and the longer we sync together, we-- that might help.
[ There's a lot that needs fine-tuning, figuring it out, that Gorgug wonders if he isn't wasting his time trying to explain an item that, already, Maria's agreeing with, technically. She'll do whatever works. So he pauses, think, gaze turning aside as he feels an awkward embarrassment, before: ]
Uh, if you want it to look a certain way, I have to make it from platinum, so-- like, you can decide if you want me to add anything? It doesn't have to be a bracelet?
So you and I will be connected. But it won't be like how I was tied to James? Well, I guess not. It's a different whatever the hell James and I had. [she murmurs that mostly to herself.]
Your energy protecting me, though. What does that mean? Like your soul? Or whatever equivalent your place has. [she has no clue if souls are a thing everybody is supposed to have. the philosophical confusion of what a soul is anyway. man they really need a philosopher here.]
Bracelet's fine, by the way. I'm an all kinds of jewelry type of girl. Beggers can't be picky, right? I'm not gonna complain. Even if it's ugly. [the smile on her face is meant to show this is a joke.]
I'll try and make it not ugly over time. [ He gives her a smile this time, something to show he's received the joke, is giving it back.
But with that said: ] But, uh-- since my magic's in it, that energy, I guess; it just means I'll know when you're in danger, and I can support you with it, if something's trying to harm you. It doesn't hurt me, [ he says, knowing it's not true, but let's just dismiss that from the conversation. ] I don't know if it'll be like James, but... hopefully it will be, in an emergency. Just the keeping you around kind of way. Until you don't need it, or Etraya.
[ Because he doesn't want to be a replacement, or another person that Maria has to rely on. But to give her a potential emotional comfort, if nothing else, for now.
He presses his hands together, rolls his lips. There's more behind a warding bond than what he's described, a history to them that he thinks, maybe he can explain... ]
Warding bonds have been... they're something that's been around a long time. They come up in stories about, trust and protection. In paladins protecting royalty, and clerics helping people through illnesses. It's about... being there, for someone who trusts you. Because you can't make it work unless both people want the bond.
Even with the way I make them, [ he looks out at his workshop, with the tables of machines, of metal, ] I can't force one on anybody. So even you-- you have a choice.
[ He looks at Maria, thinking that someone like her, might like that. The choice, a decision. ]
[Maria knows absolutely nothing not to believe Gorgug when he says it won't hurt him. doesn't even think twice. she doesn't know enough about magic or little ways of knowing Gorgug would lie. so the comment goes by without thought.
though the more he explains them, she thinks it sounds so noble. was such a thing really for her? Gorgug trying something like this for her sake feels meaningful. impactful. it shows she means something to him and that means more to her than anything else. even if this doesn't ultimately work out, it truly is the thought that matters.
she is surprised when he talks about choice, though. how she still has to make this choice and it's really up to her. Maria doesn't know how similarly their thoughts are to each other's but she hasn't had much choice. sometimes she thinks back to when she had briefly considered ending it when she had put that gun to her head. her choice had been to try living anyway, to go to James anyway. she'd made a choice then. though sometimes she wonders if she'd pulled that trigger if it would have actually ended things. if she wouldn't have just come back anyway. did she have a choice...?
no. but this can be her choice.]
I've never had anybody try so hard. James never...I don't think I ever crossed his mind. Not really me. He saw me as something he didn't need and that was that. So how can I not choose to trust you? I didn't think this was possible. It means a lot to me. I can't put it into words how much it does but I absolutely choose to trust you and this. Having you as a friend has been a really nice experience.
Having you around's been a nice experience back. [ His lips pinch, a quick smile. ] You've had a crappy start at life, but-- it would be nice if you could actually have one. That place you're from, it sounds like a mess. I dunno that I'd wanna visit there.
[ Silent Hill? What a mess! But Gorgug looks at her, giving a small nod as- ]
Do you wanna message Aurora, asking her if she'll let me have whatever data she's got on how she's keeping you here? I can go to the hospital, but, it's your data. She shouldn't give it to me without your permission. [ He pauses, realising with a shift in his tone: ] --We can ask her together, here, now.
[ They're already here, sitting together. Would that make Maria feel better? It's gotta be nerve-wrecking, but if she doesn't want privacy, he doesn't mind it.
If you don't feel really guilty then it's a nice little tourist town. If you avoid the religious bullshit. But they don't like tourists so you'd be safe. [and usually people who felt drawn to the town had the desire to be punished due to the guilt. Maria didn't think Gorgug would be in danger from that.
she's smiling, in a better mood, and then ah yes, she has to message Aurora about this.]
I hate talking to her. I always worry I'm going to find out more than I want to. I don't know how you do it. [even before Etraya, Maria had never liked being confronted with things that were a little too real. it was never trying to stay ignorant or be delusional, but it was she didn't need to be reminded again and again about her lot.
she takes his hand without a second thought.] You must think I need to put on my big girl pants and get over it, huh?
[ To that last question, Gorgug shakes his head. Maybe she's joking, but... ]
I don't want to get your hopes up if she doesn't give a good answer. But honestly? I'd be scared shitless. [ Well. ] I'm kinda scared shitless for you anyway.
[ What if she does give them a bad answer? That she can't tell them anything? He doesn't smile at her this time, maybe too honest right now than is necessary, but-- this is about her life. He might be overeager, but Gorgug would bank on thinking about this as much as Maria would be, if they put off contacting Aurora again. ]
[ What do they do? Just thinking about Aurora not allowing them the data doesn't do well in Gorgug's mind: Maria exists because something inside a town brought her into being because it targeted another person. And if Maria's now linking to Etraya, or by some other force (Echo?), how can you test anything without putting Maria's existence in danger?
It makes him quiet, if not unexpressive after she asks it, and he looks down, trying to think, uncomfortable and unsure. Then he looks at her, expression taut. ]
We can ask her if we can pay for it? A way to keep you safe with points? I don't know how... unless I can run some scans on you, and figure out something that way...
[ An identify spell? Some other similar spell? He needs to check on some details, but... ]
[ Gorgug looks at Maria, notices when she becomes distracted, and then blinks at her, trying to see the message from her position. 'You are all tied to me'...? He remembers something about Echo 'giving up' something to bring them to these bubble cities, but Gorgug doesn't know what to make of it, his brows furrowing as he tries to think about it. ]
I don't... know. [ Still thinking, still trying to make sense of it. Well-- ] Do you wanna ask-- what happens if I wasn't tied to her? What happens?
[ He's not a magically made construct. So what does that mean--? ]
[ Did it? He's making a face, features scrunched, trying to think. ]
I don't know if... it changes anything. About everything. But- [ hm ] there was a girl here who disappeared for a time? And Aurora told her she didn't have any records of her disappearing. If we're tied to her, then... wouldn't she notice?
[ It's probably not helpful to the actual topic to think about, but it is weird. He can't help but remember that. ]
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as she sits down, she wonders where to begin. with Heather, it had been easier to know. what Heather already knew. with Gorgug? it was more complicated.
after a brief silence, she begins.] This is hard. I don't know where to start? So I'll just...start from the top? [but even that's confusing and she sighs.] One day I just woke up and I was all by myself. There was nobody around, just monsters, and all I knew was my name was Maria, I had worked at Heaven's Night, and I had to find James. That's really all there is to me, Gorgug. There is no mysterious past. I'm not...real? [she winces at her own word choice. she hates this. hates always having to confront what she is.]
I was made for James. I'm tied to him because I only exist if he needs me, if he wants me. Which is why it makes no sense I'm here. He made it loud and clear he didn't want me. When he was here I thought 'oh, maybe he does want me after all'? Now? No idea.
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Okay.
It's not his immediate reaction, of course. Gorgug watches Maria--patiently, a slight furrow to his brow that shows his concern that he's been carrying for her since after she texted him, but he's got time. He's in no rush now, though there's the pressure of apprehension that comes with a conversation like this. But Gorgug listens; that brow perhaps dipping in further as he does so, but he's following. There was no one but monsters, she knew a few things about herself, but nothing else-- she's not real?
Made for him. But how? This is the time where he feels like he needs to be smart, to consider what she's saying. Gorgug doesn't think he's ever heard or met another person made for someone, though there feels like there's something missing. Lacking.
That can't just be it, right? ]
...was there, [ he starts, voice slow as he thinks, ] someone called Maria that James knew? Or a-- Maria at the... Heaven's Night? Did you see anything like that?
[ Any proof? Evidence? There's a name and occupation, and then a connection to James. There's something there, maybe, even if-- Gorgug isn't the brightest. But it's some kind of magic, right? Some kind of magical... fuckery. ]
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James had a wife named Mary, who got really sick and passed away. [she won't go into the details of how that happened. Maria would still keep her promise to James to stay quiet about Mary's fate. she didn't like to think about it anyway.]
I look like her, I sound like her, but I'm not quite like her. James thought he got a letter from her, asking him to find her in their "special place", Silent Hill. The town I woke up in. James wanted his wife back but men will be men...no offense. [it is what it is, Gorgug] So I'm not some perfect copy of her. Guess you can say I'm supposed to be his wish come true.
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The details sort of explain some things, but leave out others. A man's wife dies and a not-accurate copy of his wife is created. It would make sense, except for the parts that get in the way. Like a very important detail: ]
So... someone made you for him, but he didn't know about it? He got a letter. And then you woke up. [ He pauses, and yeah--really trying to use his nogging here, his gaze narrowing. ] Did he find out who sent the letter? And I guess-- if you woke up, and he showed up...
[ Hmm- ]
Do you think that happened at the same time? That's why... you think you're connected?
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[she looks to Gorgug and when she knows what she's going to talk about next, she looks away.] I've died. I've been impaled more than once. Just to punish him. Even when I try to stay away, I end up right back with him. It's like this cycle I can't break. I don't think we're connected, I know we are. He's the only one who could see me. Nobody else ever could.
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The world that Maria, James, Vincent, and Heather come from can have monsters in them. 'Magical' abilities are weird, and they have gods-- it's hard to remember they all come from the same world, but it's a thought in the back of Gorgug's mind. Not that he knows if it's useful, but... ]
I can't say I know everything or even a lot about magic, or-- sites of power, you know, maybe the place is more of a curse. It sounds like a curse? But if you're still here, and James is gone, and you're not in that town... there's a good case that something's been done to turn... the way you're supposed to be, if James was the only guy who saw you before, but we all do now--
[ Then something's been changed. It's not that they all have some special ability that makes them capable of seeing Maria, if that was never possible for people before.
He doesn't finish his sentence, but figures she can assume where he's going with that. Even explains, since, the thing about magic, or powers of that nature: ]
Where I'm from, with artificing or networking-- like the earpiece? [ He taps at his ear, indicating to it again. ] We can use magic to interact with technology, or use technology to make... magic. Do spells in a way... that's different from the way-- wizards do chants, or read scriptures.
So it could be that-- Echo or Aurora translated something about you, so you-- so James isn't the only person who sees you. Or so you don't need him to be around, but you're-- linked to here? Or nowhere?
It's not impossible, [ he adds; his tightened brow less so, but not losing its cocern as he looks at Maria-- Maria, as here as she's ever been, but more compelx than Gorgug could've ever thought, ] if you're still here. And we see you.
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she tries to listen to Gorgug and make sense of it. even if she was created through some supernatural means, she has no understanding of it. of what she is. but Gorgug is at least explaining this simply and by the time he's done, she's nodding slowly.]
So then do you think maybe they have the same power that maybe Silent Hill has? Or something more powerful. I don't know. [if that's the truth, then that might be bad but she's not going to say that out loud.] But they made me tied to something here? Or I don't know, I became a real girl after all. [it's said as a joke with a huff of a laugh.]
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[ Because she talks about not being real, mentions it, and it doesn't feel right. Even though Gorgug thinks he can get it, with how human-centric other places seem to be.
He gestures at himself, even though: ] Where I'm from, we have a lot of guys and gals and nothing and everything that aren't born the same way. And I guess when someone or something makes a person to haunt another person, they don't go out and get a life or a job. [ ...the one doing the haunting, that is.
They usually have to be put down, but Gorgug is being delicate here! Careful!
And he's trying to make a point, has, but at the same time doesn't want to dismiss something else. Playing with his fingers at the end of his knees, his tone soft. ]
I know it can't feel great if people like you aren't common where you're from, and you were made for a really stupid reason, but... [ trying to think of a word, and he nods as, with all sincerity: ] You're valid. You're real and valid, Maria. And probably connected to cursed magic.
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but for once, it doesn't feel so bad. not when Gorgug talks to her and says things like that. Heather had told her similar, saying she was real to her and that meant so much. never did she think she'd ever be more than simply James' manifestation he didn't even want. here she was, though. with an existence, relationships where she didn't have to play some role, and it was so nice. it was freeing.]
Yeah, probably connected to cursed magic. [she smiles at him and pats his knee.] Thank you, though. For saying all of that and trying to help me with all this. I never had help. James never...well, he had his own things going on, I guess. Him and I never talked about this. [she sighs and shakes her head.] But he's not here but I'm still trying to figure out his mess. Men. Again, no offense. You're one of the good ones.
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It's okay, my ex was part of an all-girl team. I got all the goss on men sucking. [ They suck!!! ]
We can still ask Aurora what she's doing so, we know what's up, and we can try and translate it into an item, if-- if you need a support? Some people need a tether, so, the way you were connected to James, or the town. The magic for that is... it might need a lot of juice, or just the right components.
[ He tried explaining it before over text, but he goes over it now, less of that desperation and worry over him, and now a more honest approach. Softly and slowly, when this is a subject surrounding Maria's--existence. ]
I've never done anything like this before, and... it might take a while, unless I can find someone who knows better about it. I wouldn't mention you, right away. [ That he slips in, not quickly, but still with a nod, understanding that she might not want this coming out. ]
But I want to try. And... we can try some things, in the meantime.
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simply not being that? being her own person, what she always wanted? it feels so staggering.]
I'm willing to try whatever you have in mind. It's better than the alternative. If I go back to Silent Hill, it's just going to be the same thing and I'm tired of it. Why not try something new, you know?
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I have practice making Warding Bonds. They're a piece of jewellery-- I was going to try making it like a bracelet-- [ and he shows his own wrist, running a finger across it ] --in case I can make the spell stronger. But it'll make a connection between us, and the way it works... [ His gaze narrows, thinking. ] 'Cause my energy is inside it, when I activate it, it means my energy can protect you. We'll have to test the distance, and, I'll need to work it so that maybe we can activate it, even when we're far away? I can try attuning the item to you, so the longer you wear it, and the longer we sync together, we-- that might help.
[ There's a lot that needs fine-tuning, figuring it out, that Gorgug wonders if he isn't wasting his time trying to explain an item that, already, Maria's agreeing with, technically. She'll do whatever works. So he pauses, think, gaze turning aside as he feels an awkward embarrassment, before: ]
Uh, if you want it to look a certain way, I have to make it from platinum, so-- like, you can decide if you want me to add anything? It doesn't have to be a bracelet?
[ Maybe Maria would like a necklace?? ]
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Your energy protecting me, though. What does that mean? Like your soul? Or whatever equivalent your place has. [she has no clue if souls are a thing everybody is supposed to have. the philosophical confusion of what a soul is anyway. man they really need a philosopher here.]
Bracelet's fine, by the way. I'm an all kinds of jewelry type of girl. Beggers can't be picky, right? I'm not gonna complain. Even if it's ugly. [the smile on her face is meant to show this is a joke.]
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But with that said: ] But, uh-- since my magic's in it, that energy, I guess; it just means I'll know when you're in danger, and I can support you with it, if something's trying to harm you. It doesn't hurt me, [ he says, knowing it's not true, but let's just dismiss that from the conversation. ] I don't know if it'll be like James, but... hopefully it will be, in an emergency. Just the keeping you around kind of way. Until you don't need it, or Etraya.
[ Because he doesn't want to be a replacement, or another person that Maria has to rely on. But to give her a potential emotional comfort, if nothing else, for now.
He presses his hands together, rolls his lips. There's more behind a warding bond than what he's described, a history to them that he thinks, maybe he can explain... ]
Warding bonds have been... they're something that's been around a long time. They come up in stories about, trust and protection. In paladins protecting royalty, and clerics helping people through illnesses. It's about... being there, for someone who trusts you. Because you can't make it work unless both people want the bond.
Even with the way I make them, [ he looks out at his workshop, with the tables of machines, of metal, ] I can't force one on anybody. So even you-- you have a choice.
[ He looks at Maria, thinking that someone like her, might like that. The choice, a decision. ]
You choose if we have that link.
cw: brief mention of suicide contemplation
though the more he explains them, she thinks it sounds so noble. was such a thing really for her? Gorgug trying something like this for her sake feels meaningful. impactful. it shows she means something to him and that means more to her than anything else. even if this doesn't ultimately work out, it truly is the thought that matters.
she is surprised when he talks about choice, though. how she still has to make this choice and it's really up to her. Maria doesn't know how similarly their thoughts are to each other's but she hasn't had much choice. sometimes she thinks back to when she had briefly considered ending it when she had put that gun to her head. her choice had been to try living anyway, to go to James anyway. she'd made a choice then. though sometimes she wonders if she'd pulled that trigger if it would have actually ended things. if she wouldn't have just come back anyway. did she have a choice...?
no. but this can be her choice.]
I've never had anybody try so hard. James never...I don't think I ever crossed his mind. Not really me. He saw me as something he didn't need and that was that. So how can I not choose to trust you? I didn't think this was possible. It means a lot to me. I can't put it into words how much it does but I absolutely choose to trust you and this. Having you as a friend has been a really nice experience.
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[ Silent Hill? What a mess! But Gorgug looks at her, giving a small nod as- ]
Do you wanna message Aurora, asking her if she'll let me have whatever data she's got on how she's keeping you here? I can go to the hospital, but, it's your data. She shouldn't give it to me without your permission. [ He pauses, realising with a shift in his tone: ] --We can ask her together, here, now.
[ They're already here, sitting together. Would that make Maria feel better? It's gotta be nerve-wrecking, but if she doesn't want privacy, he doesn't mind it.
He'll even offer, sincerely, holding up a hand. ]
You can hold my hand if you're nervous.
[ Truly trying to be nice...! ]
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she's smiling, in a better mood, and then ah yes, she has to message Aurora about this.]
I hate talking to her. I always worry I'm going to find out more than I want to. I don't know how you do it. [even before Etraya, Maria had never liked being confronted with things that were a little too real. it was never trying to stay ignorant or be delusional, but it was she didn't need to be reminded again and again about her lot.
she takes his hand without a second thought.] You must think I need to put on my big girl pants and get over it, huh?
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I don't want to get your hopes up if she doesn't give a good answer. But honestly? I'd be scared shitless. [ Well. ] I'm kinda scared shitless for you anyway.
[ What if she does give them a bad answer? That she can't tell them anything? He doesn't smile at her this time, maybe too honest right now than is necessary, but-- this is about her life. He might be overeager, but Gorgug would bank on thinking about this as much as Maria would be, if they put off contacting Aurora again. ]
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[but with Gorgug here, she fires off the text to Aurora.]
If she says she can't then what do we do?
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It makes him quiet, if not unexpressive after she asks it, and he looks down, trying to think, uncomfortable and unsure. Then he looks at her, expression taut. ]
We can ask her if we can pay for it? A way to keep you safe with points? I don't know how... unless I can run some scans on you, and figure out something that way...
[ An identify spell? Some other similar spell? He needs to check on some details, but... ]
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but when Aurora messages her back, saying that she's tied to Aurora, that everybody is; Maria frowns.]
What do you think that means? I guess that she's taking care of all of us...? [when it came to stuff like this, Maria didn't know much.]
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I don't... know. [ Still thinking, still trying to make sense of it. Well-- ] Do you wanna ask-- what happens if I wasn't tied to her? What happens?
[ He's not a magically made construct. So what does that mean--? ]
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Did we open a can of worms or something?
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I don't know if... it changes anything. About everything. But- [ hm ] there was a girl here who disappeared for a time? And Aurora told her she didn't have any records of her disappearing. If we're tied to her, then... wouldn't she notice?
[ It's probably not helpful to the actual topic to think about, but it is weird. He can't help but remember that. ]
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I wonder what it means. For someone like me...
[though what she really wondered was if she was even real.]
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