[she nods as she listens and now there's less desperation from herself, just a little less fear. she still isn't sure she believes Aurora (even though she hasn't been given a reason not to). her entire purpose has been to belong to James. no matter how he needed her. as a way to punish him or something else.
simply not being that? being her own person, what she always wanted? it feels so staggering.]
I'm willing to try whatever you have in mind. It's better than the alternative. If I go back to Silent Hill, it's just going to be the same thing and I'm tired of it. Why not try something new, you know?
I have practice making Warding Bonds. They're a piece of jewellery-- I was going to try making it like a bracelet-- [ and he shows his own wrist, running a finger across it ] --in case I can make the spell stronger. But it'll make a connection between us, and the way it works... [ His gaze narrows, thinking. ] 'Cause my energy is inside it, when I activate it, it means my energy can protect you. We'll have to test the distance, and, I'll need to work it so that maybe we can activate it, even when we're far away? I can try attuning the item to you, so the longer you wear it, and the longer we sync together, we-- that might help.
[ There's a lot that needs fine-tuning, figuring it out, that Gorgug wonders if he isn't wasting his time trying to explain an item that, already, Maria's agreeing with, technically. She'll do whatever works. So he pauses, think, gaze turning aside as he feels an awkward embarrassment, before: ]
Uh, if you want it to look a certain way, I have to make it from platinum, so-- like, you can decide if you want me to add anything? It doesn't have to be a bracelet?
So you and I will be connected. But it won't be like how I was tied to James? Well, I guess not. It's a different whatever the hell James and I had. [she murmurs that mostly to herself.]
Your energy protecting me, though. What does that mean? Like your soul? Or whatever equivalent your place has. [she has no clue if souls are a thing everybody is supposed to have. the philosophical confusion of what a soul is anyway. man they really need a philosopher here.]
Bracelet's fine, by the way. I'm an all kinds of jewelry type of girl. Beggers can't be picky, right? I'm not gonna complain. Even if it's ugly. [the smile on her face is meant to show this is a joke.]
I'll try and make it not ugly over time. [ He gives her a smile this time, something to show he's received the joke, is giving it back.
But with that said: ] But, uh-- since my magic's in it, that energy, I guess; it just means I'll know when you're in danger, and I can support you with it, if something's trying to harm you. It doesn't hurt me, [ he says, knowing it's not true, but let's just dismiss that from the conversation. ] I don't know if it'll be like James, but... hopefully it will be, in an emergency. Just the keeping you around kind of way. Until you don't need it, or Etraya.
[ Because he doesn't want to be a replacement, or another person that Maria has to rely on. But to give her a potential emotional comfort, if nothing else, for now.
He presses his hands together, rolls his lips. There's more behind a warding bond than what he's described, a history to them that he thinks, maybe he can explain... ]
Warding bonds have been... they're something that's been around a long time. They come up in stories about, trust and protection. In paladins protecting royalty, and clerics helping people through illnesses. It's about... being there, for someone who trusts you. Because you can't make it work unless both people want the bond.
Even with the way I make them, [ he looks out at his workshop, with the tables of machines, of metal, ] I can't force one on anybody. So even you-- you have a choice.
[ He looks at Maria, thinking that someone like her, might like that. The choice, a decision. ]
[Maria knows absolutely nothing not to believe Gorgug when he says it won't hurt him. doesn't even think twice. she doesn't know enough about magic or little ways of knowing Gorgug would lie. so the comment goes by without thought.
though the more he explains them, she thinks it sounds so noble. was such a thing really for her? Gorgug trying something like this for her sake feels meaningful. impactful. it shows she means something to him and that means more to her than anything else. even if this doesn't ultimately work out, it truly is the thought that matters.
she is surprised when he talks about choice, though. how she still has to make this choice and it's really up to her. Maria doesn't know how similarly their thoughts are to each other's but she hasn't had much choice. sometimes she thinks back to when she had briefly considered ending it when she had put that gun to her head. her choice had been to try living anyway, to go to James anyway. she'd made a choice then. though sometimes she wonders if she'd pulled that trigger if it would have actually ended things. if she wouldn't have just come back anyway. did she have a choice...?
no. but this can be her choice.]
I've never had anybody try so hard. James never...I don't think I ever crossed his mind. Not really me. He saw me as something he didn't need and that was that. So how can I not choose to trust you? I didn't think this was possible. It means a lot to me. I can't put it into words how much it does but I absolutely choose to trust you and this. Having you as a friend has been a really nice experience.
Having you around's been a nice experience back. [ His lips pinch, a quick smile. ] You've had a crappy start at life, but-- it would be nice if you could actually have one. That place you're from, it sounds like a mess. I dunno that I'd wanna visit there.
[ Silent Hill? What a mess! But Gorgug looks at her, giving a small nod as- ]
Do you wanna message Aurora, asking her if she'll let me have whatever data she's got on how she's keeping you here? I can go to the hospital, but, it's your data. She shouldn't give it to me without your permission. [ He pauses, realising with a shift in his tone: ] --We can ask her together, here, now.
[ They're already here, sitting together. Would that make Maria feel better? It's gotta be nerve-wrecking, but if she doesn't want privacy, he doesn't mind it.
If you don't feel really guilty then it's a nice little tourist town. If you avoid the religious bullshit. But they don't like tourists so you'd be safe. [and usually people who felt drawn to the town had the desire to be punished due to the guilt. Maria didn't think Gorgug would be in danger from that.
she's smiling, in a better mood, and then ah yes, she has to message Aurora about this.]
I hate talking to her. I always worry I'm going to find out more than I want to. I don't know how you do it. [even before Etraya, Maria had never liked being confronted with things that were a little too real. it was never trying to stay ignorant or be delusional, but it was she didn't need to be reminded again and again about her lot.
she takes his hand without a second thought.] You must think I need to put on my big girl pants and get over it, huh?
[ To that last question, Gorgug shakes his head. Maybe she's joking, but... ]
I don't want to get your hopes up if she doesn't give a good answer. But honestly? I'd be scared shitless. [ Well. ] I'm kinda scared shitless for you anyway.
[ What if she does give them a bad answer? That she can't tell them anything? He doesn't smile at her this time, maybe too honest right now than is necessary, but-- this is about her life. He might be overeager, but Gorgug would bank on thinking about this as much as Maria would be, if they put off contacting Aurora again. ]
[ What do they do? Just thinking about Aurora not allowing them the data doesn't do well in Gorgug's mind: Maria exists because something inside a town brought her into being because it targeted another person. And if Maria's now linking to Etraya, or by some other force (Echo?), how can you test anything without putting Maria's existence in danger?
It makes him quiet, if not unexpressive after she asks it, and he looks down, trying to think, uncomfortable and unsure. Then he looks at her, expression taut. ]
We can ask her if we can pay for it? A way to keep you safe with points? I don't know how... unless I can run some scans on you, and figure out something that way...
[ An identify spell? Some other similar spell? He needs to check on some details, but... ]
[ Gorgug looks at Maria, notices when she becomes distracted, and then blinks at her, trying to see the message from her position. 'You are all tied to me'...? He remembers something about Echo 'giving up' something to bring them to these bubble cities, but Gorgug doesn't know what to make of it, his brows furrowing as he tries to think about it. ]
I don't... know. [ Still thinking, still trying to make sense of it. Well-- ] Do you wanna ask-- what happens if I wasn't tied to her? What happens?
[ He's not a magically made construct. So what does that mean--? ]
[ Did it? He's making a face, features scrunched, trying to think. ]
I don't know if... it changes anything. About everything. But- [ hm ] there was a girl here who disappeared for a time? And Aurora told her she didn't have any records of her disappearing. If we're tied to her, then... wouldn't she notice?
[ It's probably not helpful to the actual topic to think about, but it is weird. He can't help but remember that. ]
He's getting a little sidetracked from what they wanted to accomplish here, and while he glances at her and her earpiece, Gorgug touches at his own to boot up the screen. ]
I want to ask Aurora how-- if she can give us anything on how she makes you... so you can interact with everyone, if normally you can't? If she can help us out. [ His brows furrow, acknowledging: ] I know she won't tell us how she keeps us all here, but, the way she keeps us here... there's got to be different variables.
[ And he isn't sure exactly how to have Maria ask when even he doesn't know how to ask it himself. ]
I probably won't try to get you killed. Feels like kind of a slap in the face to a friend trying to help me out, right? [and that isn't a very normal thing to do!]
But you might as well send a message to her, too. If she doesn't get annoyed with us.
[ It's one of those things said as he turns to focus on his earpiece, trailing into a mutter, but Maria can probably understand. Even if they find her scary for different reasons, even if, too, Gorgug does like Aurora.
She's still scary.
But he sends off a message, and even tilts his screen to share it with Maria, sheepishly admitting: ]
See-- I'm not really good at asking for this.
[ He's just trying to say words and hope to get results. :( ]
[Gorgug, you're just like her for real. this has been Maria's way of handling things too. does she ever have any idea what she's doing when she talks to someone? no. but she's been told she's good at talking so there's that.]
She is scary. [it's a relief to hear him say it. makes her feel less alone.] But I think you worded that even better than I could.
[ He tugs at his lips, something grateful, and then waits for a message to come through--which does, and Gorgug's doing that thing with his brows before he starts to relay it. ]
She said... she doesn't think she can give any data, since she can make everyone see you, but... you probably don't have a real body? [ Which. He does look at Maria, knows she feels real, but--that's the trick with magic, or any form of supernatural power. Things can seem plenty real. Bleed plenty real.
... and he decide sneak Aurora a magic, just because-- well....!!!
[Maria reads over the message and she sighs.] It makes sense. I mean, nobody else can see me. Only James. But here, I guess...she gave me a real body?
Geesh, you'd think she'd just help a girl back in her world. [it's a joke because if she doesn't laugh then what else does she do?] I figured there would be nothing she can do for me there. That's just how it goes. If I could just stay here and know I won't disappear...
[ Gorgug isn't sure she gave her a real body, but... hey, what is the meaning of real, anyway? Maybe they don't even need to focus on getting Maria a body!
(Especially when Aurora sends back that they can't get her an organic body. Shit.)
But at least there is something Gorgug knows--not a long term solution (can they grow a body??), but about staying or going-- ]
Aurora's said that people can stay here if they want to. Instead of going back? I asked because a couple of people I met said they came here as they were about to pop their clogs. Power plant explosion, a drop from a building...
[ Kinda weird times to be picking up people tbh!! ]
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simply not being that? being her own person, what she always wanted? it feels so staggering.]
I'm willing to try whatever you have in mind. It's better than the alternative. If I go back to Silent Hill, it's just going to be the same thing and I'm tired of it. Why not try something new, you know?
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I have practice making Warding Bonds. They're a piece of jewellery-- I was going to try making it like a bracelet-- [ and he shows his own wrist, running a finger across it ] --in case I can make the spell stronger. But it'll make a connection between us, and the way it works... [ His gaze narrows, thinking. ] 'Cause my energy is inside it, when I activate it, it means my energy can protect you. We'll have to test the distance, and, I'll need to work it so that maybe we can activate it, even when we're far away? I can try attuning the item to you, so the longer you wear it, and the longer we sync together, we-- that might help.
[ There's a lot that needs fine-tuning, figuring it out, that Gorgug wonders if he isn't wasting his time trying to explain an item that, already, Maria's agreeing with, technically. She'll do whatever works. So he pauses, think, gaze turning aside as he feels an awkward embarrassment, before: ]
Uh, if you want it to look a certain way, I have to make it from platinum, so-- like, you can decide if you want me to add anything? It doesn't have to be a bracelet?
[ Maybe Maria would like a necklace?? ]
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Your energy protecting me, though. What does that mean? Like your soul? Or whatever equivalent your place has. [she has no clue if souls are a thing everybody is supposed to have. the philosophical confusion of what a soul is anyway. man they really need a philosopher here.]
Bracelet's fine, by the way. I'm an all kinds of jewelry type of girl. Beggers can't be picky, right? I'm not gonna complain. Even if it's ugly. [the smile on her face is meant to show this is a joke.]
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But with that said: ] But, uh-- since my magic's in it, that energy, I guess; it just means I'll know when you're in danger, and I can support you with it, if something's trying to harm you. It doesn't hurt me, [ he says, knowing it's not true, but let's just dismiss that from the conversation. ] I don't know if it'll be like James, but... hopefully it will be, in an emergency. Just the keeping you around kind of way. Until you don't need it, or Etraya.
[ Because he doesn't want to be a replacement, or another person that Maria has to rely on. But to give her a potential emotional comfort, if nothing else, for now.
He presses his hands together, rolls his lips. There's more behind a warding bond than what he's described, a history to them that he thinks, maybe he can explain... ]
Warding bonds have been... they're something that's been around a long time. They come up in stories about, trust and protection. In paladins protecting royalty, and clerics helping people through illnesses. It's about... being there, for someone who trusts you. Because you can't make it work unless both people want the bond.
Even with the way I make them, [ he looks out at his workshop, with the tables of machines, of metal, ] I can't force one on anybody. So even you-- you have a choice.
[ He looks at Maria, thinking that someone like her, might like that. The choice, a decision. ]
You choose if we have that link.
cw: brief mention of suicide contemplation
though the more he explains them, she thinks it sounds so noble. was such a thing really for her? Gorgug trying something like this for her sake feels meaningful. impactful. it shows she means something to him and that means more to her than anything else. even if this doesn't ultimately work out, it truly is the thought that matters.
she is surprised when he talks about choice, though. how she still has to make this choice and it's really up to her. Maria doesn't know how similarly their thoughts are to each other's but she hasn't had much choice. sometimes she thinks back to when she had briefly considered ending it when she had put that gun to her head. her choice had been to try living anyway, to go to James anyway. she'd made a choice then. though sometimes she wonders if she'd pulled that trigger if it would have actually ended things. if she wouldn't have just come back anyway. did she have a choice...?
no. but this can be her choice.]
I've never had anybody try so hard. James never...I don't think I ever crossed his mind. Not really me. He saw me as something he didn't need and that was that. So how can I not choose to trust you? I didn't think this was possible. It means a lot to me. I can't put it into words how much it does but I absolutely choose to trust you and this. Having you as a friend has been a really nice experience.
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[ Silent Hill? What a mess! But Gorgug looks at her, giving a small nod as- ]
Do you wanna message Aurora, asking her if she'll let me have whatever data she's got on how she's keeping you here? I can go to the hospital, but, it's your data. She shouldn't give it to me without your permission. [ He pauses, realising with a shift in his tone: ] --We can ask her together, here, now.
[ They're already here, sitting together. Would that make Maria feel better? It's gotta be nerve-wrecking, but if she doesn't want privacy, he doesn't mind it.
He'll even offer, sincerely, holding up a hand. ]
You can hold my hand if you're nervous.
[ Truly trying to be nice...! ]
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she's smiling, in a better mood, and then ah yes, she has to message Aurora about this.]
I hate talking to her. I always worry I'm going to find out more than I want to. I don't know how you do it. [even before Etraya, Maria had never liked being confronted with things that were a little too real. it was never trying to stay ignorant or be delusional, but it was she didn't need to be reminded again and again about her lot.
she takes his hand without a second thought.] You must think I need to put on my big girl pants and get over it, huh?
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I don't want to get your hopes up if she doesn't give a good answer. But honestly? I'd be scared shitless. [ Well. ] I'm kinda scared shitless for you anyway.
[ What if she does give them a bad answer? That she can't tell them anything? He doesn't smile at her this time, maybe too honest right now than is necessary, but-- this is about her life. He might be overeager, but Gorgug would bank on thinking about this as much as Maria would be, if they put off contacting Aurora again. ]
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[but with Gorgug here, she fires off the text to Aurora.]
If she says she can't then what do we do?
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It makes him quiet, if not unexpressive after she asks it, and he looks down, trying to think, uncomfortable and unsure. Then he looks at her, expression taut. ]
We can ask her if we can pay for it? A way to keep you safe with points? I don't know how... unless I can run some scans on you, and figure out something that way...
[ An identify spell? Some other similar spell? He needs to check on some details, but... ]
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but when Aurora messages her back, saying that she's tied to Aurora, that everybody is; Maria frowns.]
What do you think that means? I guess that she's taking care of all of us...? [when it came to stuff like this, Maria didn't know much.]
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I don't... know. [ Still thinking, still trying to make sense of it. Well-- ] Do you wanna ask-- what happens if I wasn't tied to her? What happens?
[ He's not a magically made construct. So what does that mean--? ]
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Did we open a can of worms or something?
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I don't know if... it changes anything. About everything. But- [ hm ] there was a girl here who disappeared for a time? And Aurora told her she didn't have any records of her disappearing. If we're tied to her, then... wouldn't she notice?
[ It's probably not helpful to the actual topic to think about, but it is weird. He can't help but remember that. ]
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I wonder what it means. For someone like me...
[though what she really wondered was if she was even real.]
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He's getting a little sidetracked from what they wanted to accomplish here, and while he glances at her and her earpiece, Gorgug touches at his own to boot up the screen. ]
I want to ask Aurora how-- if she can give us anything on how she makes you... so you can interact with everyone, if normally you can't? If she can help us out. [ His brows furrow, acknowledging: ] I know she won't tell us how she keeps us all here, but, the way she keeps us here... there's got to be different variables.
[ And he isn't sure exactly how to have Maria ask when even he doesn't know how to ask it himself. ]
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[Maria had tried in her own way, asking if they were all somehow the same. but no, that hadn't been exact enough, had it?]
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You haven't even sent anything to kill me yet.
[ So she's not being very good trouble.
Still, he's not moving to send any message or do anything with his earpiece -- that much is clear. He's still waiting on her go ahead first. ]
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But you might as well send a message to her, too. If she doesn't get annoyed with us.
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[ It's one of those things said as he turns to focus on his earpiece, trailing into a mutter, but Maria can probably understand. Even if they find her scary for different reasons, even if, too, Gorgug does like Aurora.
She's still scary.
But he sends off a message, and even tilts his screen to share it with Maria, sheepishly admitting: ]
See-- I'm not really good at asking for this.
[ He's just trying to say words and hope to get results. :( ]
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She is scary. [it's a relief to hear him say it. makes her feel less alone.] But I think you worded that even better than I could.
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She said... she doesn't think she can give any data, since she can make everyone see you, but... you probably don't have a real body? [ Which. He does look at Maria, knows she feels real, but--that's the trick with magic, or any form of supernatural power. Things can seem plenty real. Bleed plenty real.
... and he decide sneak Aurora a magic, just because-- well....!!!
Can they buy a body??? ]
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Geesh, you'd think she'd just help a girl back in her world. [it's a joke because if she doesn't laugh then what else does she do?] I figured there would be nothing she can do for me there. That's just how it goes. If I could just stay here and know I won't disappear...
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(Especially when Aurora sends back that they can't get her an organic body. Shit.)
But at least there is something Gorgug knows--not a long term solution (can they grow a body??), but about staying or going-- ]
Aurora's said that people can stay here if they want to. Instead of going back? I asked because a couple of people I met said they came here as they were about to pop their clogs. Power plant explosion, a drop from a building...
[ Kinda weird times to be picking up people tbh!! ]
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They have a thing for dying people, don't they? [or hopeless people.]
Mm. I'll still fight for my universe. There are people there that matter. But it would be nice to stay here. If she really will allow it.
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