[ It's one of those things said as he turns to focus on his earpiece, trailing into a mutter, but Maria can probably understand. Even if they find her scary for different reasons, even if, too, Gorgug does like Aurora.
She's still scary.
But he sends off a message, and even tilts his screen to share it with Maria, sheepishly admitting: ]
See-- I'm not really good at asking for this.
[ He's just trying to say words and hope to get results. :( ]
[Gorgug, you're just like her for real. this has been Maria's way of handling things too. does she ever have any idea what she's doing when she talks to someone? no. but she's been told she's good at talking so there's that.]
She is scary. [it's a relief to hear him say it. makes her feel less alone.] But I think you worded that even better than I could.
[ He tugs at his lips, something grateful, and then waits for a message to come through--which does, and Gorgug's doing that thing with his brows before he starts to relay it. ]
She said... she doesn't think she can give any data, since she can make everyone see you, but... you probably don't have a real body? [ Which. He does look at Maria, knows she feels real, but--that's the trick with magic, or any form of supernatural power. Things can seem plenty real. Bleed plenty real.
... and he decide sneak Aurora a magic, just because-- well....!!!
[Maria reads over the message and she sighs.] It makes sense. I mean, nobody else can see me. Only James. But here, I guess...she gave me a real body?
Geesh, you'd think she'd just help a girl back in her world. [it's a joke because if she doesn't laugh then what else does she do?] I figured there would be nothing she can do for me there. That's just how it goes. If I could just stay here and know I won't disappear...
[ Gorgug isn't sure she gave her a real body, but... hey, what is the meaning of real, anyway? Maybe they don't even need to focus on getting Maria a body!
(Especially when Aurora sends back that they can't get her an organic body. Shit.)
But at least there is something Gorgug knows--not a long term solution (can they grow a body??), but about staying or going-- ]
Aurora's said that people can stay here if they want to. Instead of going back? I asked because a couple of people I met said they came here as they were about to pop their clogs. Power plant explosion, a drop from a building...
[ Kinda weird times to be picking up people tbh!! ]
She's said it a lot. I hope she does. [ He's never sure how it would work, but-- maybe one day they'll find out. It's not a situation he thinks has happened yet, but--how would they know? What would it look like?
Even so, Gorgug pauses for a bit. ]
We can still look for a way to make you whole. If you interact with us now, and you do the same things everyone else do, I don't-- I don't know how anyone would tell you're different as long as people could see you? Where you come from?
[ Is there anything he isn't considering right now? As long as Maria can touch people and interact with the world, eat and drink and all that kind of stuff, what else would she be missing out on? Would anything make her stick out?
[Maria tries to think of anything that was different. back in Silent Hill, she had never had to eat; coming here had changed that. what was it like, being a normal human? who knew! Maria simply knew she wasn't one.]
We can try to cut me and see if I bleed, make sure I'm the same inside. [she smiles.] I'm kidding.
[ It's a good thing that she added that 'I'm kidding' considering-- ]
Y-yeah, uh-- I don't know that-- [ It wouldn't make a difference, surely! Not that he was making a face like he was eager to do that, just-- a little curious about where her thinking was going!!
A-anyway! ]
If you're meant to be human, you might have all of the-- [ He's waving his hand a little, but he cuts himself off again as he reconsiders what he's saying, thinks. ] ...did you ever get hurt? You get-- out of breath, things like that?
Here or back in my world? Back in my world, I've been impaled at least twice. I felt that. [it fucking hurts, to put it delicately.] But well, that might not mean much. My body could probably just do what James needed it to. [which was what she always assumed.]
Here? Haven't been hurt seriously. Not that seriously anyway. We'll give it some time. [she smiles like it's a joke but again, not a funny joke!!] But I do get out of breath. I don't know. I'm "normal" here, I guess. I assume?
[ Impaled? Yeowch. Gorgug winces at that, knowing how that feels. It's not a good time, and he wonders especially how much worse it must've been for Maria. He knows he's more durable than most people. ]
I guess-- if you didn't get out of breath in the other place, maybe there's changes? If you're connected to Aurora now. I don't know. [ That's...really not his expertise, and his I don't know is said in the tone equivalent of shrugging.
But after it, he tugs the side of his mouth into his cheek, his expression sympathetic. ] I'm sorry you got impaled. Did you-- die?
[ Is it okay to ask? It just seems like something she might die from. Temporarily. ]
Hm? [like she isn't sure what he means and then oh, yeah.] I did. I do die there. And then I get brought back and it's just the same thing again and again.
Kind of similar to here? I don't think I lose anything...I mean, if you don't count my sanity. [it's supposed to be a joke but that probably isn't a very funny joke. she hasn't been doing very good at those.]
Mmh, that's how it is where I'm from, too. [ ... ] Not it happening again. Except, I guess, you can die and come back a second time as well. If you're lucky to have someone around...
[ He trails off, mumbling towards the end, feeling a little awkward, since- it's probably not the same. If her existence has something to do with this James guy? Maria said that she figured she functioned in whatever way he needed her to. Though, he isn't sure if he wants to ask what that means, exactly. Not right now. ]
It's not great, even if you come back. I think I'd get mad if stuff kept impaling me. I usually do.
[Maria knows he's just trying to relate to her, make her feel less othered. she appreciates it. this is why she knows Gorgug would always be a person she could trust. even if he couldn't help then he would talk to her like this. try to make things easier.]
Yeah, it does hurt. Kind of ruins a day, right? [she's never talked so casually about what happened to her. and honestly, it does make her mad. always dying, always suffering...
It ruined my days. But then you're alive again and everything's happening, you don't really get to think about it-- and there's nothing you can do, so... what's there to even think about?
[ Has Maria thought about it? He doesn't know what that place was like for her, what it meant to come back or to die and have her life dictated for another. Did she get to think about it here? Or did everything else take precedent?
It's easy to think it did. After all: You die, you come back. What's there to think about?
But even so, Gorgug admits, if belatedly--slowly: ]
...but I still think it's weird when people say they don't care about dying.
[dying is still one of Maria's more significant fears. something she worried about here, worried it'll happen again.
yet she'll continue to talk about it casually. no need for Gorgug to have to deal with all of her trauma. so best to keep it light. he's doing her a favor anyway, right?]
That happened to my other friend. By a dead unicorn. [ Said so morosely... so sadly... ] I still feel bad thinking about it.
[ Mainly because he didn't die again with her. It just feels wrong that he didn't die again with her, like that's the way things should be.
But he does decide to share with Maria, since if she cares about dying as well: ]
I'm trying to figure out how to bring people back. That's-- a thing we can do, so. You have to reach them in time, but I want to-- I don't want my friends to have to go through the resurrection here, and lose something. And our cleric isn't here...
By a unicorn? Your place has those. [well, she shouldn't be surprised. Gorgug's world was obviously something like a fantasy novel come to life. actually, it kind of makes her wonder how fictional ideas were real in another world. how did those fictional ideas come to mind...?
she is not smart enough for that thought and quickly drops it.]
What's a cleric? [she thinks she should know what that is before she is trying to figure out the other stuff!]
[ Gorgug nods his head, maybe confused about the question, but not getting to ask anything about it. It's not the first time someone's known the name of something, but not actually seen it, or thought it's real: like a half-orc.
But: ] Clerics are... religious people? They pray to gods and get powers that way. A lot of them are healers. [ Well. ] I guess, if their gods swing that way.
My friend changed gods a couple of times, and she's always healed us, so, I think it's a cleric thing? But my artificer classes cover-- some healing, too. And protection.
[ So, he's been looking into being able to revive through it, is what he means, circling back to that.
A cleric would be better though. Not just for healing, but for Maria too, maybe. Any of them would be--Kristen, Adaine. Probably both, just for Adaine's general smarts and then Kristen's natural talent. ]
Hm. [Maria isn't sure how to feel about this being a religious people thing. even before meeting Vincent, Maria had been uncomfortable with the religious tones taken in Silent Hill. to jump to that place being religious, being gods, is a joke in her opinion.
but she knows Gorgug's world might be different. she shouldn't judge on that alone.]
There's a limit. [ He's not casual talking about this. A cleric holds a lot of power, people have plenty of feelings about what they can do, and with worlds where nothing like this exists (as Gorgug's figured out), it might seem-- easy. To avoid death. ]
If they have the power and the right stuff? Sure. There's some clerics who can bring back people who died a while ago, but that's a powerful spell, and it, it has to cost a lot. The one I know, she has to get to us quick. It's easier to, well, not let us get to that point.
[ Mentally, magically. ]
Some other ways want an exchange, too. Worse than what they do here. [ He pauses, then admits, carefully: ] Like a life for a life.
[there's a shiver that goes down her spine at that though she keeps a calm demeanor, as if she knows that's how it should be and yet doesn't at all. strange.]
Isn't that just fair? [it's said sarcastically because it isn't. but she knows that no life matters more than another. though she knows that some lives matter far less than others. if she qualified as a life at all. Maria was sure not many might consider her one.
Gorgug was not one of those people. he would see her as a life.]
But that makes sense. If just anybody could do it then your world would be a mess.
[ He hums, the sound humoured, thinking about how Heaven and Hell would be emptier, but he doesn't voice it. It doesn't matter, really; even if the topic has strayed somewhat, Gorgug's mind is still on Maria and her situation. This will be tricky, even though he's no less wanting to explore he--he'll still look into wizardry books, see what he can find out there. Ayda told him never to read them, but there's no other wizards around.
And if he's as great as she deemed, then will a few books really hurt his chances?
So Gorgug's quiet for a second, his brain empty of what else to ask Aurora, how to advance without studying. That's the next stage. The small quiet may have been necessary for him to think, but there comes that awkwardness in speaking again--but still, Gorgug looks at Maria, and as awkward as he might be, stumbling back into conversation: ]
I-I'll still make that ward for you, even if-- you haven't gone anywhere. You're still here. [ There's a smile, small on his lips and in his optimism; a reflection of some good thing in this situation, fragile as it seems. He reaches over, puts a hand on her forearm. ] And you're still the same Maria to me you were before you texted me.
[ His brow might be tight, his features scrunched like even his face has to be awkward when he's trying to be sincere, but his words are honest, at the very least. H-he just might feel concerned he sounds weird.... being comforting... ]
[Gorgug worries too much but what else is new? Maria doesn't think it's nearly as awkward as he thinks he's being, or the silence is, but she's also used to much worse. one cannot do much worse than her usual.
and it gives her time to think anyway. to gather her thoughts about everything they have come to. Gorgug has made her feel better, far much better, than she had been before. he'd given her the courage to talk to Aurora and confirm she might be okay. not that she is entirely positive on this but it's a lot more hope than she had before.
by the time Gorgug speaks up again, Maria smiles. feeling it much more this time than ever before.]
I don't think there are many who could say it and I'd believe them but I believe you, Gorgug. And I trust you. So if you'll have my back then it's all yours. And hopefully I can help you too one day.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ It's one of those things said as he turns to focus on his earpiece, trailing into a mutter, but Maria can probably understand. Even if they find her scary for different reasons, even if, too, Gorgug does like Aurora.
She's still scary.
But he sends off a message, and even tilts his screen to share it with Maria, sheepishly admitting: ]
See-- I'm not really good at asking for this.
[ He's just trying to say words and hope to get results. :( ]
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She is scary. [it's a relief to hear him say it. makes her feel less alone.] But I think you worded that even better than I could.
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She said... she doesn't think she can give any data, since she can make everyone see you, but... you probably don't have a real body? [ Which. He does look at Maria, knows she feels real, but--that's the trick with magic, or any form of supernatural power. Things can seem plenty real. Bleed plenty real.
... and he decide sneak Aurora a magic, just because-- well....!!!
Can they buy a body??? ]
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Geesh, you'd think she'd just help a girl back in her world. [it's a joke because if she doesn't laugh then what else does she do?] I figured there would be nothing she can do for me there. That's just how it goes. If I could just stay here and know I won't disappear...
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(Especially when Aurora sends back that they can't get her an organic body. Shit.)
But at least there is something Gorgug knows--not a long term solution (can they grow a body??), but about staying or going-- ]
Aurora's said that people can stay here if they want to. Instead of going back? I asked because a couple of people I met said they came here as they were about to pop their clogs. Power plant explosion, a drop from a building...
[ Kinda weird times to be picking up people tbh!! ]
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They have a thing for dying people, don't they? [or hopeless people.]
Mm. I'll still fight for my universe. There are people there that matter. But it would be nice to stay here. If she really will allow it.
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Even so, Gorgug pauses for a bit. ]
We can still look for a way to make you whole. If you interact with us now, and you do the same things everyone else do, I don't-- I don't know how anyone would tell you're different as long as people could see you? Where you come from?
[ Is there anything he isn't considering right now? As long as Maria can touch people and interact with the world, eat and drink and all that kind of stuff, what else would she be missing out on? Would anything make her stick out?
(Maybe never ageing, for one, Gorgug.) ]
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We can try to cut me and see if I bleed, make sure I'm the same inside. [she smiles.] I'm kidding.
[that's a bad joke, Maria.]
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Y-yeah, uh-- I don't know that-- [ It wouldn't make a difference, surely! Not that he was making a face like he was eager to do that, just-- a little curious about where her thinking was going!!
A-anyway! ]
If you're meant to be human, you might have all of the-- [ He's waving his hand a little, but he cuts himself off again as he reconsiders what he's saying, thinks. ] ...did you ever get hurt? You get-- out of breath, things like that?
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Here? Haven't been hurt seriously. Not that seriously anyway. We'll give it some time. [she smiles like it's a joke but again, not a funny joke!!] But I do get out of breath. I don't know. I'm "normal" here, I guess. I assume?
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I guess-- if you didn't get out of breath in the other place, maybe there's changes? If you're connected to Aurora now. I don't know. [ That's...really not his expertise, and his I don't know is said in the tone equivalent of shrugging.
But after it, he tugs the side of his mouth into his cheek, his expression sympathetic. ] I'm sorry you got impaled. Did you-- die?
[ Is it okay to ask? It just seems like something she might die from. Temporarily. ]
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Kind of similar to here? I don't think I lose anything...I mean, if you don't count my sanity. [it's supposed to be a joke but that probably isn't a very funny joke. she hasn't been doing very good at those.]
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[ He trails off, mumbling towards the end, feeling a little awkward, since- it's probably not the same. If her existence has something to do with this James guy? Maria said that she figured she functioned in whatever way he needed her to. Though, he isn't sure if he wants to ask what that means, exactly. Not right now. ]
It's not great, even if you come back. I think I'd get mad if stuff kept impaling me. I usually do.
[ Get mad, that is. It's very easy to get mad. ]
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Yeah, it does hurt. Kind of ruins a day, right? [she's never talked so casually about what happened to her. and honestly, it does make her mad. always dying, always suffering...
and for what?]
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It ruined my days. But then you're alive again and everything's happening, you don't really get to think about it-- and there's nothing you can do, so... what's there to even think about?
[ Has Maria thought about it? He doesn't know what that place was like for her, what it meant to come back or to die and have her life dictated for another. Did she get to think about it here? Or did everything else take precedent?
It's easy to think it did. After all: You die, you come back. What's there to think about?
But even so, Gorgug admits, if belatedly--slowly: ]
...but I still think it's weird when people say they don't care about dying.
[ It's real creepy, actually. ]
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yet she'll continue to talk about it casually. no need for Gorgug to have to deal with all of her trauma. so best to keep it light. he's doing her a favor anyway, right?]
They've obviously never been impaled, right?
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That happened to my other friend. By a dead unicorn. [ Said so morosely... so sadly... ] I still feel bad thinking about it.
[ Mainly because he didn't die again with her. It just feels wrong that he didn't die again with her, like that's the way things should be.
But he does decide to share with Maria, since if she cares about dying as well: ]
I'm trying to figure out how to bring people back. That's-- a thing we can do, so. You have to reach them in time, but I want to-- I don't want my friends to have to go through the resurrection here, and lose something. And our cleric isn't here...
[ Clerics. Those things that every world has. ]
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she is not smart enough for that thought and quickly drops it.]
What's a cleric? [she thinks she should know what that is before she is trying to figure out the other stuff!]
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But: ] Clerics are... religious people? They pray to gods and get powers that way. A lot of them are healers. [ Well. ] I guess, if their gods swing that way.
My friend changed gods a couple of times, and she's always healed us, so, I think it's a cleric thing? But my artificer classes cover-- some healing, too. And protection.
[ So, he's been looking into being able to revive through it, is what he means, circling back to that.
A cleric would be better though. Not just for healing, but for Maria too, maybe. Any of them would be--Kristen, Adaine. Probably both, just for Adaine's general smarts and then Kristen's natural talent. ]
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but she knows Gorgug's world might be different. she shouldn't judge on that alone.]
So they can bring people back from the dead...?
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If they have the power and the right stuff? Sure. There's some clerics who can bring back people who died a while ago, but that's a powerful spell, and it, it has to cost a lot. The one I know, she has to get to us quick. It's easier to, well, not let us get to that point.
[ Mentally, magically. ]
Some other ways want an exchange, too. Worse than what they do here. [ He pauses, then admits, carefully: ] Like a life for a life.
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Isn't that just fair? [it's said sarcastically because it isn't. but she knows that no life matters more than another. though she knows that some lives matter far less than others. if she qualified as a life at all. Maria was sure not many might consider her one.
Gorgug was not one of those people. he would see her as a life.]
But that makes sense. If just anybody could do it then your world would be a mess.
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And if he's as great as she deemed, then will a few books really hurt his chances?
So Gorgug's quiet for a second, his brain empty of what else to ask Aurora, how to advance without studying. That's the next stage. The small quiet may have been necessary for him to think, but there comes that awkwardness in speaking again--but still, Gorgug looks at Maria, and as awkward as he might be, stumbling back into conversation: ]
I-I'll still make that ward for you, even if-- you haven't gone anywhere. You're still here. [ There's a smile, small on his lips and in his optimism; a reflection of some good thing in this situation, fragile as it seems. He reaches over, puts a hand on her forearm. ] And you're still the same Maria to me you were before you texted me.
[ His brow might be tight, his features scrunched like even his face has to be awkward when he's trying to be sincere, but his words are honest, at the very least. H-he just might feel concerned he sounds weird.... being comforting... ]
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and it gives her time to think anyway. to gather her thoughts about everything they have come to. Gorgug has made her feel better, far much better, than she had been before. he'd given her the courage to talk to Aurora and confirm she might be okay. not that she is entirely positive on this but it's a lot more hope than she had before.
by the time Gorgug speaks up again, Maria smiles. feeling it much more this time than ever before.]
I don't think there are many who could say it and I'd believe them but I believe you, Gorgug. And I trust you. So if you'll have my back then it's all yours. And hopefully I can help you too one day.