[Maria isn't sure what Gorgug could make her that would mean anything or do away with how she is particularly cursed. she doesn't exist without James. or she hadn't. she had always been tied to him. how could anybody do anything that would change that?
she had messaged Aurora, though, and anxiously paced. practically jumped out of her skin when she got the notification. when she got the message back, telling her she would not, she is still not sure she believes it. technically Aurora has no reason to lie and that's not quite why Maria doesn't believe it. much like her thoughts about Gorgug, she can't see how she's just here. on her own. as her own person. she's not really a person, is she?
but she messages Gorgug:] she says I'm not tied to him here
[ It doesn't take Gorgug long to get back to his workshop. To his books, to find the notes he's made in the past about warding bonds and to get out the metal he needs, brain already calculating a simple design. The design doesn't matter, so long as he can imagine Maria's wrist and not make it too big, too small--he can redecorate it later, make it different, new. He might need to if he really wants this to work; if he wants to make it useful. A better spell, a stronger tool to hold it.
Of course he does. Of course he will. Maria can even pick what it looks like, fashion it if she wants. As long as the foundation of it works.
Gorgug takes his artificer books, the ones surrounding his speciality: protection. Back when he had a clearer, simpler idea of who he wanted to be, instead of the different pies it feels like he dips his fingers into in Etraya. Wield an axe, defend his friends--it's been so useless here. He's felt so far from it, hasn't picked up the weapon since his infection, where then, he did this too: gave Vanessa a bangle, and nearly died for it.
Not that he's ever regretted that part. And not when it means Gorgug knows he can do it now, make it, with only the nagging in the back of his mind being that he doesn't know if it'll count: he doesn't know if it'll make a difference. He's taken his work and the materials to the crafting table by the time Maria gets back to him, and he hesitates what to say, reading it. Of course she doubts it--who wouldn't? Everyone doubts Aurora. Everyone doubts Etraya. It's fair, because their situation is unfair. This is unfair.
He doesn't want to make promises that aren't real. He thinks what to say, the best way to phrase this; thinks about making a voice message, but doesn't know if he wants to hear one back. Disappearing is scary, after all. Gorgug worried he would do it all the time, after dying.
So, finally, he responds back after four or five minutes (because writing it takes him much too long): ]
Where I'm from, there's ways to make bonds with people with magic. I don't know a lot about them but we can try and find you a back up. something so you don't have to worry? I know this is important and I don't want to sound like i'm just being optmistic. but there's a lot of magic and tools and I think if we really look we can find something
i'll get some books. i'll see if there's anything where you don't need someone to keep you stable. and i can try to make something now but i've never used it like this and it's limited? it makes a connection to me and another person. i can protect them over a distance
[ For a short while, and then he has to make the connection again. And it's meant to let him take on their pain, or an amount of it. But if he says that, she might say no. She'll see that it's useless.
But is it wrong to hope that it can't be? To pretend?
[Gorgug is correct, if Maria did know what this type of bond could do then she would say no. she wouldn't want Gorgug hurt on her account. not Gorgug, who has done all he can to help the ones around him. somebody as good and kind as him does not deserve that.
but for what Gorgug says, she's touched. before coming here, it had been only James. only James who never acted like he could tolerate her and didn't want to talk to her. if he'd had his way, she never would have come with him. she would have been left behind. for any shred of warmth from him, she'd had to manipulate and use any way she could to get him to do the things she needed him to do. she was lonely without him and lonely with him. stuck with a man who didn't want her around.
but here? people liked her. she didn't have to take on different roles to make it happen. people had helped her so easily and were friendly to her. seemed to like spending time with her. it was so new and it still takes her aback that anybody would put this kind of effort into her.
she had come to Gorgug just for information, really no ulterior motive. but someone like Gorgug? she should have known it might become this. of course she should have. she's still surprised and touched and happy someone could care about her.]
[ That's what he wants to do. Try. He wants to say he can do it, answer an easy Yes, but he also still needs to actually do it. Answering Yes would be too certain, too sure right now. ]
disappearing because some guy left sucks you still need to find some hobbies
[trying so hard for her is still more than she's used to. even if he doesn't make it work, even if it fails and she has to go away; knowing that Gorgug cared enough about her to try to help her stay?
it means more than he can ever know.]
Not a big fan of my everything being tied to him to be honest.....
i don't want you to go either. not if it means you're in trouble
[ Because if she goes back, what then? Gorgug doesn't know the situation between her and James, but it doesn't sound like a great situation. Familiars have that connection to that wizards, but something like Boggy the Frog is an entire different scale from Maria. Who talks to him and makes him feel nice and normal. Who tells him not to overwork himself. ]
you know, aurora said that if you don't want to go back, people can stay here. if you want to ask her. [ Which, also makes him think: ] are you okay if i ask how she's keeping you safe? if i can get data, we can understand it better. are you just linked to him?
[ Said, as if magic is ever that simple or straightforward. ]
[the idea of staying here...her immediate thought is yes. that is what she wants. but if James isn't here then that feels wrong. something instinctual in her tells her she needs to stay with James. she needs to be with him.
and that is so frustrating. there is no commenting on that. it's complicated. she doesn't know what to do about that.
the other stuff though?]
you can ask her but I want to explain things first? what I know anyway. it feels wrong if you don't hear it from me.
Can you make sure this stays private between us? can't kill all my intrigue.
[she considers this. when she talked to Heather, it had been emotional. and she's already emotional for many reasons.
but part of her doesn't like texting it. words staying behind and even if this is just to Gorgug, she doesn't think Gorgug would break a promise, it makes her nervous.]
[ He would've offered to come see her himself, but he also wants to keep working on the Warding Bond.
He'll have to take a break when she comes, but 20 minutes is a good amount of time. ]
20 min works. i'll have a bot meet you out front. its an octopus
fabian put a big gate around my workshop
[ He really needs more bots that aren't so weird. He's trying!!
At least the Bad Kids's Compound isn't too far from the trolley system, and it does stick out when one knows there's a 'big gate' around it: because it's a gate of gold surrounding a dome, a giant sea ship on land (and surrounded by fancy gardens), and then a Random Building.
But there will be a metallic octopus by the gate leading to the large dome, sitting above the fancy gate work with two tentacles curled around the gold metal. It will get off when Maria does finally approach, 'swimming' through the air towards inside the dome and towards the larger of two buildings inside.
There's a lot of layers to getting into Gorgug's workshop, it seems. There's a door open leaidng inside a room with many work tables (in the centre, to the left, to the right--all with various metals and tools left around on their surfaces), a corner with beanie bags and pillows for relaxing, and then in a farther corner at the other end is Gorgug. He's standing by a rolling mill machine, putting through pieces of platinum metal to readjust their shape from the more cylinder shapes they're currently in.
And he's really cranking that handle to make that metal go through. Sloowly does it...! ]
[Maria may be depressed at this moment but even she can be amazed. as she walks through and tries to find Gorgug, the look of wonderment is obvious on her face as she looks around. a look that stays there even when she finally finds Gorgug.
she considers calling out but well, he looks like he's hard at work. she shouldn't bother him or maybe scare him. don't ruin his concentration! is this about the thing he'd told her about? she wonders.
it is awkward just standing there and maybe it's nosy but she keeps looking around his workshop, interested.]
[ It doesn't take long for Gorgug to notice Maria, fortunately. When she comes into the workshop, the metal octopus floats along in the air. Its limbs squeak now and then as it moves, but Gorgug's attention is on flattening out the platinum metal that he doesn't hear as the robot approaches from behind, taps him on the shoulder with a single tentacle...
...and then camoflagues into the environment as Gorgug turns around with a 'Huh? What?', only to see Maria over at another part of the workshop. ] Oh! H-hey.
[ He kept his headphones off, and he still didn't hear her come in! On the tables, there's a couple designs for animal mechanicals, as well as a few small robot-esque designs similar to the companion bots, if they were shorter. Some hand-sized miniatures of the designs, too, that Maria might see.
But Gorgug is all on Maria, coming over from the back end of the workshop to over to her. He's dressed the same as usually, a hoodie and skinny jeans, and he slows as he comes close to her, looking around. ] Um, I have a-- kitchen, if you don't like it in here. Or I've got a sitting place-- over there. I hang out there, and read.
[ He points over to the corner with the bundle of pillows and beanie bags, the low coffee table, before shoving his hand back into his hoodie pocket. A little nervous, like he's aware he needs to be-- delicate today, right? He needs to consider Maria. And he's trying. ]
[she feels like it would be very easy to to just ask about the designs he has. the octopus. distract them both from why she's actually here because she doesn't want to talk about what she is. Maria tries to avoid it as best as she can. it's something ugly to think about and to live. she prefers to get lost in just being Maria.
but Gorgug can be trusted. she's going to tell him because he wants to help her.
so she smiles.]
Let's sit, yeah? Might as well get comfy before we ruin the whole mysterious vibe I got going on.
[ He pulls a small smile, like a reassurance, but walks with that said over to the pillow collection pile. Usually, he would drop with a thunk down, but he crouches after turning to face outward, and sits politely with his knees bent. Touches the goggles on top of his head, before resting his hands over his knees.
And he would speak, but this seems like Maria's time to speak. No need to make her feel rushed.
[the smile on her face shows just how grateful she is for him saying that.
as she sits down, she wonders where to begin. with Heather, it had been easier to know. what Heather already knew. with Gorgug? it was more complicated.
after a brief silence, she begins.] This is hard. I don't know where to start? So I'll just...start from the top? [but even that's confusing and she sighs.] One day I just woke up and I was all by myself. There was nobody around, just monsters, and all I knew was my name was Maria, I had worked at Heaven's Night, and I had to find James. That's really all there is to me, Gorgug. There is no mysterious past. I'm not...real? [she winces at her own word choice. she hates this. hates always having to confront what she is.]
I was made for James. I'm tied to him because I only exist if he needs me, if he wants me. Which is why it makes no sense I'm here. He made it loud and clear he didn't want me. When he was here I thought 'oh, maybe he does want me after all'? Now? No idea.
It's not his immediate reaction, of course. Gorgug watches Maria--patiently, a slight furrow to his brow that shows his concern that he's been carrying for her since after she texted him, but he's got time. He's in no rush now, though there's the pressure of apprehension that comes with a conversation like this. But Gorgug listens; that brow perhaps dipping in further as he does so, but he's following. There was no one but monsters, she knew a few things about herself, but nothing else-- she's not real?
Made for him. But how? This is the time where he feels like he needs to be smart, to consider what she's saying. Gorgug doesn't think he's ever heard or met another person made for someone, though there feels like there's something missing. Lacking.
That can't just be it, right? ]
...was there, [ he starts, voice slow as he thinks, ] someone called Maria that James knew? Or a-- Maria at the... Heaven's Night? Did you see anything like that?
[ Any proof? Evidence? There's a name and occupation, and then a connection to James. There's something there, maybe, even if-- Gorgug isn't the brightest. But it's some kind of magic, right? Some kind of magical... fuckery. ]
James had a wife named Mary, who got really sick and passed away. [she won't go into the details of how that happened. Maria would still keep her promise to James to stay quiet about Mary's fate. she didn't like to think about it anyway.]
I look like her, I sound like her, but I'm not quite like her. James thought he got a letter from her, asking him to find her in their "special place", Silent Hill. The town I woke up in. James wanted his wife back but men will be men...no offense. [it is what it is, Gorgug] So I'm not some perfect copy of her. Guess you can say I'm supposed to be his wish come true.
[ Men will be men. He tips his head in a not-disagreeable, sheepish manner. Ehhhh, he can't deny it. Hell, could he love someone enough to want to make them come back? ... He would pay for it.
The details sort of explain some things, but leave out others. A man's wife dies and a not-accurate copy of his wife is created. It would make sense, except for the parts that get in the way. Like a very important detail: ]
So... someone made you for him, but he didn't know about it? He got a letter. And then you woke up. [ He pauses, and yeah--really trying to use his nogging here, his gaze narrowing. ] Did he find out who sent the letter? And I guess-- if you woke up, and he showed up...
[ Hmm- ]
Do you think that happened at the same time? That's why... you think you're connected?
I wouldn't say it was someone sent the letter and someone created me. It was just...the town? It has powers. I guess some people would call it magic but that's too beautiful for what that place is. Some people think gods live there and it sure isn't that either. That town...it draws people to it. People who feel guilty and James was one of them. It punishes people who want to be punished.
[she looks to Gorgug and when she knows what she's going to talk about next, she looks away.] I've died. I've been impaled more than once. Just to punish him. Even when I try to stay away, I end up right back with him. It's like this cycle I can't break. I don't think we're connected, I know we are. He's the only one who could see me. Nobody else ever could.
Okay. [ The way he says it, and the way he nods, is acknowledging her--showing he understands that it's not a think, it's a know: not wanting to undermine that, and his expression slightly more concerned under the furrowed brow, the way he always gets when he's trying to concentrate.
The world that Maria, James, Vincent, and Heather come from can have monsters in them. 'Magical' abilities are weird, and they have gods-- it's hard to remember they all come from the same world, but it's a thought in the back of Gorgug's mind. Not that he knows if it's useful, but... ]
I can't say I know everything or even a lot about magic, or-- sites of power, you know, maybe the place is more of a curse. It sounds like a curse? But if you're still here, and James is gone, and you're not in that town... there's a good case that something's been done to turn... the way you're supposed to be, if James was the only guy who saw you before, but we all do now--
[ Then something's been changed. It's not that they all have some special ability that makes them capable of seeing Maria, if that was never possible for people before.
He doesn't finish his sentence, but figures she can assume where he's going with that. Even explains, since, the thing about magic, or powers of that nature: ]
Where I'm from, with artificing or networking-- like the earpiece? [ He taps at his ear, indicating to it again. ] We can use magic to interact with technology, or use technology to make... magic. Do spells in a way... that's different from the way-- wizards do chants, or read scriptures.
So it could be that-- Echo or Aurora translated something about you, so you-- so James isn't the only person who sees you. Or so you don't need him to be around, but you're-- linked to here? Or nowhere?
It's not impossible, [ he adds; his tightened brow less so, but not losing its cocern as he looks at Maria-- Maria, as here as she's ever been, but more compelx than Gorgug could've ever thought, ] if you're still here. And we see you.
[it's hard to explain just how much she knows it. how very intertwined she is with James even if she wishes she wasn't most of the time. things would be easier if she wasn't.
she tries to listen to Gorgug and make sense of it. even if she was created through some supernatural means, she has no understanding of it. of what she is. but Gorgug is at least explaining this simply and by the time he's done, she's nodding slowly.]
So then do you think maybe they have the same power that maybe Silent Hill has? Or something more powerful. I don't know. [if that's the truth, then that might be bad but she's not going to say that out loud.] But they made me tied to something here? Or I don't know, I became a real girl after all. [it's said as a joke with a huff of a laugh.]
Well... maybe they did? [ He doesn't want to give her hope, and he doesn't answer it like that. He knows she's joking, but there's a possibility, Gorgug thinks, still with that unsure expression on his face. ] You're not-- human, but that doesn't mean you're not real. Or you're not-- something. Something else. You still exist. You're-- Maria.
[ Because she talks about not being real, mentions it, and it doesn't feel right. Even though Gorgug thinks he can get it, with how human-centric other places seem to be.
He gestures at himself, even though: ] Where I'm from, we have a lot of guys and gals and nothing and everything that aren't born the same way. And I guess when someone or something makes a person to haunt another person, they don't go out and get a life or a job. [ ...the one doing the haunting, that is.
They usually have to be put down, but Gorgug is being delicate here! Careful!
And he's trying to make a point, has, but at the same time doesn't want to dismiss something else. Playing with his fingers at the end of his knees, his tone soft. ]
I know it can't feel great if people like you aren't common where you're from, and you were made for a really stupid reason, but... [ trying to think of a word, and he nods as, with all sincerity: ] You're valid. You're real and valid, Maria. And probably connected to cursed magic.
[there's a laugh because Gorgug really does share her confusion. Maria cannot say she has any idea what she is. but they can agree on one thing: she isn't human.
but for once, it doesn't feel so bad. not when Gorgug talks to her and says things like that. Heather had told her similar, saying she was real to her and that meant so much. never did she think she'd ever be more than simply James' manifestation he didn't even want. here she was, though. with an existence, relationships where she didn't have to play some role, and it was so nice. it was freeing.]
Yeah, probably connected to cursed magic. [she smiles at him and pats his knee.] Thank you, though. For saying all of that and trying to help me with all this. I never had help. James never...well, he had his own things going on, I guess. Him and I never talked about this. [she sighs and shakes her head.] But he's not here but I'm still trying to figure out his mess. Men. Again, no offense. You're one of the good ones.
[ He does pull at his lips--not quite a smile, nothing bright, but still meaning to be positive. ]
It's okay, my ex was part of an all-girl team. I got all the goss on men sucking. [ They suck!!! ]
We can still ask Aurora what she's doing so, we know what's up, and we can try and translate it into an item, if-- if you need a support? Some people need a tether, so, the way you were connected to James, or the town. The magic for that is... it might need a lot of juice, or just the right components.
[ He tried explaining it before over text, but he goes over it now, less of that desperation and worry over him, and now a more honest approach. Softly and slowly, when this is a subject surrounding Maria's--existence. ]
I've never done anything like this before, and... it might take a while, unless I can find someone who knows better about it. I wouldn't mention you, right away. [ That he slips in, not quickly, but still with a nod, understanding that she might not want this coming out. ]
But I want to try. And... we can try some things, in the meantime.
[she nods as she listens and now there's less desperation from herself, just a little less fear. she still isn't sure she believes Aurora (even though she hasn't been given a reason not to). her entire purpose has been to belong to James. no matter how he needed her. as a way to punish him or something else.
simply not being that? being her own person, what she always wanted? it feels so staggering.]
I'm willing to try whatever you have in mind. It's better than the alternative. If I go back to Silent Hill, it's just going to be the same thing and I'm tired of it. Why not try something new, you know?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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she had messaged Aurora, though, and anxiously paced. practically jumped out of her skin when she got the notification. when she got the message back, telling her she would not, she is still not sure she believes it. technically Aurora has no reason to lie and that's not quite why Maria doesn't believe it. much like her thoughts about Gorgug, she can't see how she's just here. on her own. as her own person. she's not really a person, is she?
but she messages Gorgug:] she says I'm not tied to him here
I'm not really convinced
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Of course he does. Of course he will. Maria can even pick what it looks like, fashion it if she wants. As long as the foundation of it works.
Gorgug takes his artificer books, the ones surrounding his speciality: protection. Back when he had a clearer, simpler idea of who he wanted to be, instead of the different pies it feels like he dips his fingers into in Etraya. Wield an axe, defend his friends--it's been so useless here. He's felt so far from it, hasn't picked up the weapon since his infection, where then, he did this too: gave Vanessa a bangle, and nearly died for it.
Not that he's ever regretted that part. And not when it means Gorgug knows he can do it now, make it, with only the nagging in the back of his mind being that he doesn't know if it'll count: he doesn't know if it'll make a difference. He's taken his work and the materials to the crafting table by the time Maria gets back to him, and he hesitates what to say, reading it. Of course she doubts it--who wouldn't? Everyone doubts Aurora. Everyone doubts Etraya. It's fair, because their situation is unfair. This is unfair.
He doesn't want to make promises that aren't real. He thinks what to say, the best way to phrase this; thinks about making a voice message, but doesn't know if he wants to hear one back. Disappearing is scary, after all. Gorgug worried he would do it all the time, after dying.
So, finally, he responds back after four or five minutes (because writing it takes him much too long): ]
Where I'm from, there's ways to make bonds with people with magic. I don't know a lot about them but we can try and find you a back up. something so you don't have to worry? I know this is important and I don't want to sound like i'm just being optmistic. but there's a lot of magic and tools and I think if we really look we can find something
i'll get some books. i'll see if there's anything where you don't need someone to keep you stable. and i can try to make something now but i've never used it like this and it's limited? it makes a connection to me and another person. i can protect them over a distance
[ For a short while, and then he has to make the connection again. And it's meant to let him take on their pain, or an amount of it. But if he says that, she might say no. She'll see that it's useless.
But is it wrong to hope that it can't be? To pretend?
...probably. ]
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but for what Gorgug says, she's touched. before coming here, it had been only James. only James who never acted like he could tolerate her and didn't want to talk to her. if he'd had his way, she never would have come with him. she would have been left behind. for any shred of warmth from him, she'd had to manipulate and use any way she could to get him to do the things she needed him to do. she was lonely without him and lonely with him. stuck with a man who didn't want her around.
but here? people liked her. she didn't have to take on different roles to make it happen. people had helped her so easily and were friendly to her. seemed to like spending time with her. it was so new and it still takes her aback that anybody would put this kind of effort into her.
she had come to Gorgug just for information, really no ulterior motive. but someone like Gorgug? she should have known it might become this. of course she should have. she's still surprised and touched and happy someone could care about her.]
You're really doing this all for me?
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[ That's what he wants to do. Try. He wants to say he can do it, answer an easy Yes, but he also still needs to actually do it. Answering Yes would be too certain, too sure right now. ]
disappearing because some guy left sucks
you still need to find some hobbies
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it means more than he can ever know.]
Not a big fan of my everything being tied to him to be honest.....
it's made it hard to find hobbies
[there's a moment and then...]
Thank you Gorgug. I don't want to leave here yet
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[ Because if she goes back, what then? Gorgug doesn't know the situation between her and James, but it doesn't sound like a great situation. Familiars have that connection to that wizards, but something like Boggy the Frog is an entire different scale from Maria. Who talks to him and makes him feel nice and normal. Who tells him not to overwork himself. ]
you know, aurora said that if you don't want to go back, people can stay here. if you want to ask her. [ Which, also makes him think: ] are you okay if i ask how she's keeping you safe?
if i can get data, we can understand it better. are you just linked to him?
[ Said, as if magic is ever that simple or straightforward. ]
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and that is so frustrating. there is no commenting on that. it's complicated. she doesn't know what to do about that.
the other stuff though?]
you can ask her but I want to explain things first? what I know anyway. it feels wrong if you don't hear it from me.
Can you make sure this stays private between us? can't kill all my intrigue.
[and yet she's still joking.]
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do you want to talk about it in person? you can come to my workshop. no one else is here except my bots. and they don't gossip. they can't really talk
[ He's never tried programming that into them, that's for another project. ]
but we can talk like this if it's easier
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but part of her doesn't like texting it. words staying behind and even if this is just to Gorgug, she doesn't think Gorgug would break a promise, it makes her nervous.]
let me freshen up and head over. In 20 ok?
to action!
He'll have to take a break when she comes, but 20 minutes is a good amount of time. ]
20 min works. i'll have a bot meet you out front. its an octopus
fabian put a big gate around my workshop
[ He really needs more bots that aren't so weird. He's trying!!
At least the Bad Kids's Compound isn't too far from the trolley system, and it does stick out when one knows there's a 'big gate' around it: because it's a gate of gold surrounding a dome, a giant sea ship on land (and surrounded by fancy gardens), and then a Random Building.
But there will be a metallic octopus by the gate leading to the large dome, sitting above the fancy gate work with two tentacles curled around the gold metal. It will get off when Maria does finally approach, 'swimming' through the air towards inside the dome and towards the larger of two buildings inside.
There's a lot of layers to getting into Gorgug's workshop, it seems. There's a door open leaidng inside a room with many work tables (in the centre, to the left, to the right--all with various metals and tools left around on their surfaces), a corner with beanie bags and pillows for relaxing, and then in a farther corner at the other end is Gorgug. He's standing by a rolling mill machine, putting through pieces of platinum metal to readjust their shape from the more cylinder shapes they're currently in.
And he's really cranking that handle to make that metal go through. Sloowly does it...! ]
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she considers calling out but well, he looks like he's hard at work. she shouldn't bother him or maybe scare him. don't ruin his concentration! is this about the thing he'd told her about? she wonders.
it is awkward just standing there and maybe it's nosy but she keeps looking around his workshop, interested.]
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...and then camoflagues into the environment as Gorgug turns around with a 'Huh? What?', only to see Maria over at another part of the workshop. ] Oh! H-hey.
[ He kept his headphones off, and he still didn't hear her come in! On the tables, there's a couple designs for animal mechanicals, as well as a few small robot-esque designs similar to the companion bots, if they were shorter. Some hand-sized miniatures of the designs, too, that Maria might see.
But Gorgug is all on Maria, coming over from the back end of the workshop to over to her. He's dressed the same as usually, a hoodie and skinny jeans, and he slows as he comes close to her, looking around. ] Um, I have a-- kitchen, if you don't like it in here. Or I've got a sitting place-- over there. I hang out there, and read.
[ He points over to the corner with the bundle of pillows and beanie bags, the low coffee table, before shoving his hand back into his hoodie pocket. A little nervous, like he's aware he needs to be-- delicate today, right? He needs to consider Maria. And he's trying. ]
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but Gorgug can be trusted. she's going to tell him because he wants to help her.
so she smiles.]
Let's sit, yeah? Might as well get comfy before we ruin the whole mysterious vibe I got going on.
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[ He pulls a small smile, like a reassurance, but walks with that said over to the pillow collection pile. Usually, he would drop with a thunk down, but he crouches after turning to face outward, and sits politely with his knees bent. Touches the goggles on top of his head, before resting his hands over his knees.
And he would speak, but this seems like Maria's time to speak. No need to make her feel rushed.
She can start when she wants to. ]
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as she sits down, she wonders where to begin. with Heather, it had been easier to know. what Heather already knew. with Gorgug? it was more complicated.
after a brief silence, she begins.] This is hard. I don't know where to start? So I'll just...start from the top? [but even that's confusing and she sighs.] One day I just woke up and I was all by myself. There was nobody around, just monsters, and all I knew was my name was Maria, I had worked at Heaven's Night, and I had to find James. That's really all there is to me, Gorgug. There is no mysterious past. I'm not...real? [she winces at her own word choice. she hates this. hates always having to confront what she is.]
I was made for James. I'm tied to him because I only exist if he needs me, if he wants me. Which is why it makes no sense I'm here. He made it loud and clear he didn't want me. When he was here I thought 'oh, maybe he does want me after all'? Now? No idea.
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Okay.
It's not his immediate reaction, of course. Gorgug watches Maria--patiently, a slight furrow to his brow that shows his concern that he's been carrying for her since after she texted him, but he's got time. He's in no rush now, though there's the pressure of apprehension that comes with a conversation like this. But Gorgug listens; that brow perhaps dipping in further as he does so, but he's following. There was no one but monsters, she knew a few things about herself, but nothing else-- she's not real?
Made for him. But how? This is the time where he feels like he needs to be smart, to consider what she's saying. Gorgug doesn't think he's ever heard or met another person made for someone, though there feels like there's something missing. Lacking.
That can't just be it, right? ]
...was there, [ he starts, voice slow as he thinks, ] someone called Maria that James knew? Or a-- Maria at the... Heaven's Night? Did you see anything like that?
[ Any proof? Evidence? There's a name and occupation, and then a connection to James. There's something there, maybe, even if-- Gorgug isn't the brightest. But it's some kind of magic, right? Some kind of magical... fuckery. ]
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James had a wife named Mary, who got really sick and passed away. [she won't go into the details of how that happened. Maria would still keep her promise to James to stay quiet about Mary's fate. she didn't like to think about it anyway.]
I look like her, I sound like her, but I'm not quite like her. James thought he got a letter from her, asking him to find her in their "special place", Silent Hill. The town I woke up in. James wanted his wife back but men will be men...no offense. [it is what it is, Gorgug] So I'm not some perfect copy of her. Guess you can say I'm supposed to be his wish come true.
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The details sort of explain some things, but leave out others. A man's wife dies and a not-accurate copy of his wife is created. It would make sense, except for the parts that get in the way. Like a very important detail: ]
So... someone made you for him, but he didn't know about it? He got a letter. And then you woke up. [ He pauses, and yeah--really trying to use his nogging here, his gaze narrowing. ] Did he find out who sent the letter? And I guess-- if you woke up, and he showed up...
[ Hmm- ]
Do you think that happened at the same time? That's why... you think you're connected?
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[she looks to Gorgug and when she knows what she's going to talk about next, she looks away.] I've died. I've been impaled more than once. Just to punish him. Even when I try to stay away, I end up right back with him. It's like this cycle I can't break. I don't think we're connected, I know we are. He's the only one who could see me. Nobody else ever could.
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The world that Maria, James, Vincent, and Heather come from can have monsters in them. 'Magical' abilities are weird, and they have gods-- it's hard to remember they all come from the same world, but it's a thought in the back of Gorgug's mind. Not that he knows if it's useful, but... ]
I can't say I know everything or even a lot about magic, or-- sites of power, you know, maybe the place is more of a curse. It sounds like a curse? But if you're still here, and James is gone, and you're not in that town... there's a good case that something's been done to turn... the way you're supposed to be, if James was the only guy who saw you before, but we all do now--
[ Then something's been changed. It's not that they all have some special ability that makes them capable of seeing Maria, if that was never possible for people before.
He doesn't finish his sentence, but figures she can assume where he's going with that. Even explains, since, the thing about magic, or powers of that nature: ]
Where I'm from, with artificing or networking-- like the earpiece? [ He taps at his ear, indicating to it again. ] We can use magic to interact with technology, or use technology to make... magic. Do spells in a way... that's different from the way-- wizards do chants, or read scriptures.
So it could be that-- Echo or Aurora translated something about you, so you-- so James isn't the only person who sees you. Or so you don't need him to be around, but you're-- linked to here? Or nowhere?
It's not impossible, [ he adds; his tightened brow less so, but not losing its cocern as he looks at Maria-- Maria, as here as she's ever been, but more compelx than Gorgug could've ever thought, ] if you're still here. And we see you.
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she tries to listen to Gorgug and make sense of it. even if she was created through some supernatural means, she has no understanding of it. of what she is. but Gorgug is at least explaining this simply and by the time he's done, she's nodding slowly.]
So then do you think maybe they have the same power that maybe Silent Hill has? Or something more powerful. I don't know. [if that's the truth, then that might be bad but she's not going to say that out loud.] But they made me tied to something here? Or I don't know, I became a real girl after all. [it's said as a joke with a huff of a laugh.]
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[ Because she talks about not being real, mentions it, and it doesn't feel right. Even though Gorgug thinks he can get it, with how human-centric other places seem to be.
He gestures at himself, even though: ] Where I'm from, we have a lot of guys and gals and nothing and everything that aren't born the same way. And I guess when someone or something makes a person to haunt another person, they don't go out and get a life or a job. [ ...the one doing the haunting, that is.
They usually have to be put down, but Gorgug is being delicate here! Careful!
And he's trying to make a point, has, but at the same time doesn't want to dismiss something else. Playing with his fingers at the end of his knees, his tone soft. ]
I know it can't feel great if people like you aren't common where you're from, and you were made for a really stupid reason, but... [ trying to think of a word, and he nods as, with all sincerity: ] You're valid. You're real and valid, Maria. And probably connected to cursed magic.
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but for once, it doesn't feel so bad. not when Gorgug talks to her and says things like that. Heather had told her similar, saying she was real to her and that meant so much. never did she think she'd ever be more than simply James' manifestation he didn't even want. here she was, though. with an existence, relationships where she didn't have to play some role, and it was so nice. it was freeing.]
Yeah, probably connected to cursed magic. [she smiles at him and pats his knee.] Thank you, though. For saying all of that and trying to help me with all this. I never had help. James never...well, he had his own things going on, I guess. Him and I never talked about this. [she sighs and shakes her head.] But he's not here but I'm still trying to figure out his mess. Men. Again, no offense. You're one of the good ones.
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It's okay, my ex was part of an all-girl team. I got all the goss on men sucking. [ They suck!!! ]
We can still ask Aurora what she's doing so, we know what's up, and we can try and translate it into an item, if-- if you need a support? Some people need a tether, so, the way you were connected to James, or the town. The magic for that is... it might need a lot of juice, or just the right components.
[ He tried explaining it before over text, but he goes over it now, less of that desperation and worry over him, and now a more honest approach. Softly and slowly, when this is a subject surrounding Maria's--existence. ]
I've never done anything like this before, and... it might take a while, unless I can find someone who knows better about it. I wouldn't mention you, right away. [ That he slips in, not quickly, but still with a nod, understanding that she might not want this coming out. ]
But I want to try. And... we can try some things, in the meantime.
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simply not being that? being her own person, what she always wanted? it feels so staggering.]
I'm willing to try whatever you have in mind. It's better than the alternative. If I go back to Silent Hill, it's just going to be the same thing and I'm tired of it. Why not try something new, you know?
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cw: brief mention of suicide contemplation
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