[ It's not a surprise to see Gorgug bringing up that first part at all. Of course he would. If Gorgug didn't already sometimes seem a little bit awkward when it comes to his rage issues, then it would still have been obvious that he wouldn't want to hurt Fabian. Gorgug's always been like that - just far too nice. Even when Fabian is trying to make this about Gorgug, Gorgug is thinking about him. ]
I'm not going to put up with it. [ Fabian confirms, but in that same sort of way as he spoke a moment ago - still confident, certain of himself. He isn't going to put up with it, because-- ] We're going to figure out what we can do about it.
[ Because, like he said-- He wants you to stay in his bed, Gorgug! Fabian has gotten way too used to sleeping like this now to give it up entirely. Going cold turkey on cuddles might just kill Fabian "needing attention and affection and touch at all times" Seacaster.
He rolls off Gorgug, considering it feels less likely that the other will flee the situation now, but still sticks to the other's side once Fabian's back touches the bed again. ]
Though feeling more is not a bad thing, is it?
[ Especially when Gorgug spoke before about feeling very little sometimes. And that seemed far more strange to Fabian than this confession does. Fabian feels so much all the time! Isn't that normal?
.. is that the sort of thing that would lead to rage dreams? ]
[ Fabian doesn't really need to sound so sure while he's laying on top of him. Granted, that's Fabian most of the time, even when his confidence isn't earned, but in this instance, it's almost like Fabian can do something about it. As if he knows what, or that the question of how to succeed doesn't really matter, when he'll do whatever it takes.
...
He does miss it though, the weight of Fabian on him. When he rolls off, and he might be able to breathe a little easier, having Fabian looking down at him from that position...
Gorgug glances in Fabian's direction, but doesn't turn his head. Just stares up at the ceiling now exposed by the lack of the other in the way. ]
It's not bad, [ Gorgug agrees. To the question that he did hear, despite his body more interested in what's been lost than to figuring out other problems. ] I used to think that it was, but-- I got used to it, with you and-- everyone. We just go fucking crazy.
[ Which is a way to talk about his and his friend's chaotic energy.
But it hasn't been like that in a while, has it? Their chaotic adventures. Their energies. They've been tamed by their missing pieces, their situation--what would Etraya be like with all six of them together? Fig and Kristen and Adaine? ]
I like letting loose.
[ Or should it be 'liked'? When it doesn't feel like there's a lot to let loose about much, these days... there's nothing adventure-like about their missions. Even when their adventures banked on the safety of their world, too. ]
[ There seems to be absolutely no negative reaction whatsoever from Fabian's side about Gorgug's assessment of their party's actions, because.. yeah. They really do just go fucking crazy. That's what Fabian likes too! It's how he has been taught to fight from a young age, and it just feels nice that it comes naturally around their party nowadays. Like he doesn't even have to think about it. Like they all fall in step together.
.. or maybe not so together, here. He shoves the thought down, considering there's really nothing he can do about that. And Fabian wants to focus on the things he can do here, especially when it is to help Gorgug.
He glances over at the other. Studying him. Thinking. Especially about those last words. ]
Okay, but.. have you?
[ Could that be it? Maybe Gorgug isn't actually letting all those feelings out, so they instead come out like this at night? Gods, does that thought ever make Fabian feel glad for being as expressive as he is, really. ]
What have you been doing with that whole lot that you're feeling?
[ Gorgug considers the question, his face going through a few different looks of uncertainty; the wrinkling around his eyes becoming prominent (or the one that Fabian can see from his spot), and his forehead doing much the same. ]
Nn..nothing? I'm not really feeling like, a big or unusual amount. But compared to before, it's more? And I'm... you know, I get to work on my projects in my workshop, and I spend time with you and Riz and my other friends...
[ So what else is there to do? What is there to let loose over? Maybe he's even trying to avoid thinking about what that might mean, what letting loose felt like with the Bad Kids before.
It's not helpful. Fabian's trying to help him, but he lets himself trail off without anything to offer to the problem. ]
[ Another slight pause, and then once again, with more emphasis: ]
Gorgug!
[ Okay, that's definitely sounding like Fabian two seconds before going into a very typical Fabian mode. The kind of dramatic, semi-exasperated mode. But he can't help it. Fabian feels like there's something so obvious here, and he can't tell if Gorgug genuinely can't see it himself or if he's avoiding it. He can't really put either of the two options past Gorgug, given what he knows about the other, but it's a little exasperating all the same.
Fabian rolls on his side, propping himself up so he can look at the other better as he's laying there, rather than staring at part of the side of Gorgug's face. ]
Are you kidding me? If you are having nightmares like that, there certainly has to be something big you are feeling that you just aren't doing anything with! That's why it comes out like that at night! [ Is that how it works?
Fabian can't know for sure. He isn't a half-orc. Or a barbarian. And he doesn't even have rage issues in the first place. Nothing close to it.
And yet he sounds pretty confident as he speaks all the same. It's that natural Seacaster confidence, even when you're ranting about something you're not an expert in, truly.. ]
It's the second Gorgug that should be worrisome, and is, as Fabian rolls back over to him. Not on him this time (a shame), but he's still looking down at Gorgug again, speaking like an expert. And he does sound like an expert, and Gorgug is the one who can't 2+2 here.
He wants to sink down into the bed. And he does shuffle, trying to hide himself. A little. Uselessly. ]
But I'm.... [ It starts as a protest, but dies before it fully comes out. Happy, being what he means to say, and it's not because it's a lie that Gorgug stops. He's trying to think of things, some better response that Fabian can latch onto. And he trails, thinking of something that might be a better answer. ] I guess I've-- been worried about the sign. And what it means. If anything's gonna happen?
[ Does that make sense? Fabian's the expert, right? He's truly saying that and seeing if Fabian agrees to that being a good reason for rage nightmares. ]
[ Thankfully enough the thing the half-orc ends up saying here is definitely more valid than him just saying he's okay. Because-- sure, Fabian may believe Gorgug is more or less okay, but the rage nightmares are a definite sign that something is wrong!
Fabian just doesn't know what. But that's why he's doing this. He is - as Riz would say - on the case.
Which also means - unfortunately for Gorgug - that as the other is trying to bury and hide himself a little, Fabian is only more fully turning towards him. Peering at him. Almost demanding attention with his loud presence. (You know, as Fabian often does.) ]
And.. what? You get angry when you're worried?
[ He's trying to get to the bottom of this, Gorgug! You have to supply him with clues! Information! Don't make him get Riz for this one! ]
Well, I'm-- frustrated that I don't know what to do? You know, when you get pissed when there's a big threatening sign outside your house but you don't know who put it there.
[ You know, that thing that happens to everyone? So maybe the example didn't get far from what it's actually referring to, but it might still trigger Fabian to imagine the scenario for himself! If he imagines someone doing a thing like that outside his manor home back in Elmville. Or even here.
It totally makes sense, right? This is what's going on? ]
I feel-- annoyed. At myself, and whoever put it there, for not giving-- for not leaving a better message. What kind of question is that?
[ It's dumb!!! They have to be mocking them, right! ]
[ It's a bit of a slow answer, but it's not disagreeable. It seems more like Fabian is actually thinking this through. It's not like he doesn't know about the sign either, but considering there are so many things his mind gets all worked up about in this place, it didn't register with him as anything more concerning than.. well, everything else.
Clearly it did for Gorgug though. And it feels to Fabian like they're getting somewhere here, so he's pretty determined to follow this thread and see where it leads. Maybe it can help Gorgug. ]
But you can do something about it though, right? Don't they say people always return to the scene of the crime? [ Let's face it: this is probably something Riz said that Fabian has picked up on through spending enough time with their friend. It's not like his father of all people would say that, after all. ]
You could hang out near there to catch them in the act. Beat them up good. Just get those feelings all out! [ Sorry, Gorgug. Of course Fabian of all people would advocate for yelling and fighting out your feelings.. The true Seacaster way.. He even seems kind of energetic about it, despite the fact that they're lying in bed together in a dark room. ]
And Gorgug should be appreciative. He is on some level, but he also knows what he and Fabian are talking about isn't really the issue. Is it? That's the thing, in that Gorgug doesn't know what's wrong. Sure, he feels pent up sometimes, and he is annoyed about the big giant sign, but is standing around waiting for some guy to show up really what he wants to do?
...
...he doesn't want to think about it, really. He continues his staring at the ceiling for a few more seconds, making more faces at it before he turns on his side to face Fabian in his monotone form. ]
What if I didn't and I made out with you instead?
[ Doesn't that seem like a better use of time? What if they stopped talking about this completely, actually? ]
[ Fabian looks real hopeful for a moment. Excited, even. Maybe he's even imagining himself helping with this task - whether it's just to cheer Gorgug on, bard-style, or to even help him beat up whatever is out there annoying Gorgug. It's the least he could do.
.. except then that excitement drops off his face real quick when the other says that.
Which is strange, considering Fabian always seems really excited to make out with Gorgug under any other circumstances. But the problem is that he gets what the other is doing here, it's-- ]
You're trying to distract me!
[ And not being very subtle about it! Sorry, Gorgug, but you really need to work on that charisma stat, alright.
Fabian moves his hands out, pushing against Gorgug's chest to get him to lie back down. It'll probably require some cooperation on the other's part, given the strength difference, but Fabian will take the absolute first next opportunity he gets to roll on top of the other one again. ]
It's not working, Gorgug. I'm not letting go! This is important!
[ noooo fabian don't see through his ploy, you're so sexy haha
See, usually, Gorgug listens when Fabian puts his hands on him to push him back. And he makes a disappointed face when he hears Fabian see what he's doing, but the thing is: he still wants to do it. And so while Gorgug doesn't know what he's missing out on, he's going to try and lean his head in and to start kissing on Fabian's face despite his complaints. ]
I heard you, we'll do it tomorrow- [ You know, the thing they were talking about, shouting at people on the other side of the barrier or something. Meanwhile, Gorgug's slipping a hand under the covers, to try and give his distraction the help action via rubbing his palm over Fabian's pyjamas between his legs. ]
[ To be fair to Gorgug, it's really hard to not get distracted in the middle of all of this. Especially since Fabian's body is responding pretty much by instinct to those kisses and the touches. Not that he's getting full on hard or anything, but his body does lean a little bit more into the touch, even though his mind is trying to resist.
But the flesh is so weak. Too weak to his boyfriend. ]
Gorgug.
[ It's almost a groan. Not one of pleasure, okay!! One of frustration!! Why must you be like this. ]
Can you even promise me that we would do it tomorrow, and that you won't just try this all over again then?
[ It's a good sound that his name makes, that he doesn't mind what follows it so much. Even if it wants him to think or answer about things not related to what he's doing now, Gorgug pauses, a huff of breath for a second to stop himself from kissing, or continuing with anything fun.
He looks at Fabian's eye, considering his answer. ]
I'll tell a bot to look outside the barrier in case that guy ever comes back.
[ See? He's being so good. He'll tell his bot to do a useless task so it seems like something is happening and being done.
But Gorgug isn't done eyeing Fabian, nor thinking. What does he want to do right now? Well... ]
[ This is so hard. This is the worst trial being given to Fabian right now? Yes, he may be the strongest little warrior, but he still didn't ask for this battle to be given to him! The battle of having to choose between wanting to make sure Gorgug is okay, yet also desperately wanting his boyfriend's hand on him now he's making the offer.
No one told him dating was going to be this difficult. Why didn't anyone warn him!!! ]
[ It's an easy resistance to bypass, or to break through. Gorgug leans his head forward, presses his lips firmly onto Fabian's to bring him into a brief but meaningful kiss, his lower lip lingering to keep it for longer. He doesn't move far when he breaks it, his hand rounding back to the rim of Fabian's pyjamas, to dip into where he's been teasing; his breath speaking on Fabian's skin as much as his words do, as: ]
I might wanna do more if you tell me to.
[ He speaks low, hinting; his hand stroking slowly, as if he's still wanting on Fabian's full agreement.
As if he doesn't already have it, for the most part. ]
[ Now that definitely is the sound of Fabian's resistance fully shattering. ]
Gorgug, you're so--
[ So.. what? Who knows. Probably something along the lines of him being too tantalizing to Fabian, but the latter doesn't finish his sentence when he's too busy adjusting his position a little bit so Gorgug has even easier access to go ahead. ]
Just using your hand is fine. I don't-- [ Fabian's expression shifts, almost a touch more shy. ] I don't want to keep you up all night.
[ Especially when Fabian was trying to get Gorgug to have some healthier sleep habits in the first place! As much as he wants this, it's defeating the purpose!! ]
[ He pauses for a microsecond, just to let Fabian adjust; but then his hand continues, the words already breathed--whether approvingly, in frustration, or whatever else--leaving their own mark on Gorgug, though he doesn't want to think about himself right now. They've been talking too much about him.
Fabian. He wants to put all his attention on Fabian, already so nicely firm in his hand, but even like this he's holding back. Or so Gorgug thinks so, content with jerking him off to begin with, but that hint that Fabian might want more makes Gorgug focus his gaze back onto him, nothing shy about the way he looks at him. ]
Tell me. What would keep me up all night?
[ There's nothing deliberate in Gorgug's tone. It's direct, straightforward--What do you want?, asked again in another way. ]
[ For how eager Fabian usually seems to have all attention turned towards him, no matter how much of it there is all at once, he doesn't seem quite as excited about it right now. Maybe it's because he feels like he should be continuing to push Gorgug a little bit.
But that would be awkward at this point. Gorgug is pushing back too much. And Fabian doesn't want to argue when all of this is for Gorgug's sake in the first place, to make sure he's alright. Arguing with him sure isn't going to do a thing about his rage nightmares.
So something about him seems a little.. awkward. Reluctant. Not reluctant to do what they're talking about, but more reluctant to speak in the first place. It feels like he isn't doing the right thing, but there's no road towards the right thing either. Maybe all he can do right now is tire out Gorgug, actually. To let him sleep so deep that no rage could even occur to him.
Which means that Fabian does speak up honestly, does confess - even if it takes a moment for his reluctance to make way enough for him to speak. ]
[ Considering how he was thinking about Fabian before, the idea is welcomed by his body when his mind pictures it, having Fabian above him. His hand slows, though it hadn't been that fast to begin with, his gaze drifting in the momentary consideration he gives the situation.
Before he pulls his hand back out from Fabian's pyjamas bottoms and underwear. ]
Okay, [ he says in agreement, looking at Fabian again, before pulling back his body this time, so as to lay himself back on the bed. Maybe he should tell Fabian that he likes the idea, say something more than just that one-worded response, but he kicks back the blanket with his feet instead, gets distracted by the anticipation of it. Wanting to see Fabian move, to follow his lead. To even have him above him, and have his hands on his sides again.
But he does pull at the waistband of his bottoms, in a sluggish manner. Not sure if he should pull everything all the way down, if he should take a hold of himself, start to get himself hard for what Fabian wants. He does do some of the latter, but he's not committed, since--
Fabian might have other ideas about how he wants to go. And Gorgug might just be willing to comply. ]
Not really. But it's happening, apparently. Fabian likes to think he at least knows Gorgug well enough in this department to know when the other is into something or not - it tends to be a little more difficult to discern with a guy whose main emotion is just looking incredibly blank half of the time - and he can tell that Gorgug at least does like this.
Maybe not quite externally excited yet, but-- that can change. Especially as Fabian starts peeling himself further away from Gorgug, pulling his shirt off and tossing it onto the ground, and with the same smooth motion turns on his bedside lamp on its low light setting.
The light isn't exactly necessary for this, but Fabian likes it. He wants Gorgug to watch him. This is practically him putting on a show for the other - which is most of the reason he took off his shirt. Well, that, and he doesn't want his sleepwear getting all dirty over this, thanks. It's the middle of the night, there's nothing he's going to be able to do about it if that happens!
As he starts reaching over to rummage through his nightstand to look for some lube, Fabian turns his head a little so his eye can look over at Gorgug, seeing what the other is getting started on. ]
You can start getting yourself hard. [ A little more rummaging, and he manages to fish the bottle out of the nightstand, sitting back up a little bit more properly on the bed. ] I mean, not that it should be all that difficult when you see me.
[ He grins a little as he's saying it - kind of difficult to tell if he's just being playful about it or if he really means that. Likely a little bit of both, knowing Fabian's ego. ]
[ It's not the most romantic lead into this, but does sex have to be? Fabian wants it, and Gorgug does too, and if Fabian wants to get to the part where he's riding Gorgug's dick, then Gorgug is fine with getting them there. Even if his hand around his dick is slow, distracted as he watches Fabian and what he might do, say--which is to encourage him. Almost like a command, but only for a split second.
But that's okay. Fabian's looking down at him, straightened up again, that cocky smile of his on his face. Gorgug follows the instruction as an afterthought (it's not the main course), and seeing Fabian up there with a height he doesn't usually have is useful, if not for the reason Fabian is preening about. ]
I like seeing you like this. [ It's spoken more honest than anything else, a second taken to consider saying it at all, but he feels he--should be honest? Would Fabian like to know? Or maybe it isn't entirely innocent. Can anything be entirely innocent when you're letting your gaze travel over your boyfriend's body with your hand jerking off your dick at a steady pace?
Thinking about his hips moving once he starts to ride him, the way it'll feel--
It's not that difficult at all. He rests his other hand on Fabian's thigh, resting it there; eyes looking to it, and then looking back at Fabian. Still taking him in, wondering. ]
[ Fabian was still in the middle of getting prepared - taking off his pants, then his underwear, letting those drop to the ground as well while he takes the cap off the lube.
It's the other's question that distracts him then. It momentarily halts his actions, sitting there naked with the bottle as he looks over at Gorgug. It's hard to fully see the other in the lamp's very low light, but Fabian smiles all the same. ]
Different how?
[ But even though he asks a clarifying question, Fabian doesn't seem to wait for the answer. He may be getting back to work - coating his own fingers with lube - but he keeps talking at the same time, even if he's not directly looking at Gorgug now. ]
I want you to look at me. [ A second, and then he clarifies: ] That's what I like seeing from you.
[ He starts positioning himself a little better to be able to finger himself open, letting out a soft sound as he slips a first finger into himself. ]
[ The effect he has on him, I want you to look at me. Gorgug doesn't turn away the gaze he already has on Fabian, but he feels an added weight to it then, upon Fabian's direction, his preference. It's not an uncomfortable one, as there's something in there that Gorgug likes as well: He likes to be seen. He wants to be seen, and he feels the connection between Fabian's interest and his own.
Fabian can see him better from up there, surely. Looking down on him, seeing everything, but choosing to witness him in a way nobody else is. It's nice, isn't it? Having someone's attention. Fabian likes it, has admitted as much, but Gorgug's never been one to openly seek it out in the way that Fabian makes sure to have eyes on him. He just likes people being forward, obvious about their interest.
I want you to look at me. I like seeing what effect I have on you. ]
You've got a good view to do that, [ he says, perhaps a little lamely. He doesn't know how else to give Fabian what he wants, though he considers taking off his shirt briefly, dismissing the idea in the same thought.
Gorgug knows he'll be able to give Fabian what he wants, and there's no worry about him being eager to accept Fabian when he's ready. He looks away just to search where Fabian put the lube so he can reach over, squeezing out some of the content to put over his own hand, to let temperature mellow out against his palm.
It's not his own dick that he wraps that hand around eventually, though. It's Fabian's, who he thinks deserves some attention again--to let him deal with fingering himself, and getting jerked off with steady strokes at the same time. Gorgug watching what he's doing to get started, but looking back up at Fabian. Doing what he asked. ]
You're always looking up at me. I like-- looking up. Once in a while.
[ Is that strange? He's embarrassed to admit it, but it's true. He likes it--a lot. ]
[ For a second Fabian looks surprised. Gorgug grabbing the lube too wasn't that weird - he did figure the other might want to use some of that to get himself going as well, to ease his grip a little bit.
He didn't expect that hand to end up on his dick though. And he-- he likes it, of course. Opening yourself feels so much better when your boyfriend is jacking you off at the same time, that much is true. Fabian still tries to pay attention despite the immediate effect the sensation has on him, especially when he's still two fingers deep in his own ass at this point, and his brain attempts to think about those words. About Gorgug liking to look up. Is it just because he's into taller people - freakishly tall people, to be taller than even Gorgug! - or maybe something else too? Looking up does have certain implications, after all. Maybe Fabian is projecting, thinking what he likes about Gorgug being taller than him.
And while he can't really provide the strength that comes with, he can provide something else. He likes it sometimes when Gorgug gets all bossy.
Is Gorgug into that too? Would that distract him from his nightmares, keep them at bay? ]
Don't touch me. [ Fabian says - not snippy, making him not sound angry, but he definitely sounds firm. He even lightly bats at Gorgug's hand with his own free hand.
It's hard to sound confident while fingering yourself open, but damn it if Fabian isn't going to try, looking at Gorgug's face and eyes the entire time. ]
I'm in charge right now. I want you to just lay there and watch me while you jerk yourself off until I'm ready. [ He's definitely going to need more than two fingers to be able to fit Gorgug's dick, that's for sure. A bit more. ]
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I'm not going to put up with it. [ Fabian confirms, but in that same sort of way as he spoke a moment ago - still confident, certain of himself. He isn't going to put up with it, because-- ] We're going to figure out what we can do about it.
[ Because, like he said-- He wants you to stay in his bed, Gorgug! Fabian has gotten way too used to sleeping like this now to give it up entirely. Going cold turkey on cuddles might just kill Fabian "needing attention and affection and touch at all times" Seacaster.
He rolls off Gorgug, considering it feels less likely that the other will flee the situation now, but still sticks to the other's side once Fabian's back touches the bed again. ]
Though feeling more is not a bad thing, is it?
[ Especially when Gorgug spoke before about feeling very little sometimes. And that seemed far more strange to Fabian than this confession does. Fabian feels so much all the time! Isn't that normal?
.. is that the sort of thing that would lead to rage dreams? ]
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...
He does miss it though, the weight of Fabian on him. When he rolls off, and he might be able to breathe a little easier, having Fabian looking down at him from that position...
Gorgug glances in Fabian's direction, but doesn't turn his head. Just stares up at the ceiling now exposed by the lack of the other in the way. ]
It's not bad, [ Gorgug agrees. To the question that he did hear, despite his body more interested in what's been lost than to figuring out other problems. ] I used to think that it was, but-- I got used to it, with you and-- everyone. We just go fucking crazy.
[ Which is a way to talk about his and his friend's chaotic energy.
But it hasn't been like that in a while, has it? Their chaotic adventures. Their energies. They've been tamed by their missing pieces, their situation--what would Etraya be like with all six of them together? Fig and Kristen and Adaine? ]
I like letting loose.
[ Or should it be 'liked'? When it doesn't feel like there's a lot to let loose about much, these days... there's nothing adventure-like about their missions. Even when their adventures banked on the safety of their world, too. ]
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.. or maybe not so together, here. He shoves the thought down, considering there's really nothing he can do about that. And Fabian wants to focus on the things he can do here, especially when it is to help Gorgug.
He glances over at the other. Studying him. Thinking. Especially about those last words. ]
Okay, but.. have you?
[ Could that be it? Maybe Gorgug isn't actually letting all those feelings out, so they instead come out like this at night? Gods, does that thought ever make Fabian feel glad for being as expressive as he is, really. ]
What have you been doing with that whole lot that you're feeling?
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Nn..nothing? I'm not really feeling like, a big or unusual amount. But compared to before, it's more? And I'm... you know, I get to work on my projects in my workshop, and I spend time with you and Riz and my other friends...
[ So what else is there to do? What is there to let loose over? Maybe he's even trying to avoid thinking about what that might mean, what letting loose felt like with the Bad Kids before.
It's not helpful. Fabian's trying to help him, but he lets himself trail off without anything to offer to the problem. ]
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[ Another slight pause, and then once again, with more emphasis: ]
Gorgug!
[ Okay, that's definitely sounding like Fabian two seconds before going into a very typical Fabian mode. The kind of dramatic, semi-exasperated mode. But he can't help it. Fabian feels like there's something so obvious here, and he can't tell if Gorgug genuinely can't see it himself or if he's avoiding it. He can't really put either of the two options past Gorgug, given what he knows about the other, but it's a little exasperating all the same.
Fabian rolls on his side, propping himself up so he can look at the other better as he's laying there, rather than staring at part of the side of Gorgug's face. ]
Are you kidding me? If you are having nightmares like that, there certainly has to be something big you are feeling that you just aren't doing anything with! That's why it comes out like that at night! [ Is that how it works?
Fabian can't know for sure. He isn't a half-orc. Or a barbarian. And he doesn't even have rage issues in the first place. Nothing close to it.
And yet he sounds pretty confident as he speaks all the same. It's that natural Seacaster confidence, even when you're ranting about something you're not an expert in, truly.. ]
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It's the second Gorgug that should be worrisome, and is, as Fabian rolls back over to him. Not on him this time (a shame), but he's still looking down at Gorgug again, speaking like an expert. And he does sound like an expert, and Gorgug is the one who can't 2+2 here.
He wants to sink down into the bed. And he does shuffle, trying to hide himself. A little. Uselessly. ]
But I'm.... [ It starts as a protest, but dies before it fully comes out. Happy, being what he means to say, and it's not because it's a lie that Gorgug stops. He's trying to think of things, some better response that Fabian can latch onto. And he trails, thinking of something that might be a better answer. ] I guess I've-- been worried about the sign. And what it means. If anything's gonna happen?
[ Does that make sense? Fabian's the expert, right? He's truly saying that and seeing if Fabian agrees to that being a good reason for rage nightmares. ]
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Fabian just doesn't know what. But that's why he's doing this. He is - as Riz would say - on the case.
Which also means - unfortunately for Gorgug - that as the other is trying to bury and hide himself a little, Fabian is only more fully turning towards him. Peering at him. Almost demanding attention with his loud presence. (You know, as Fabian often does.) ]
And.. what? You get angry when you're worried?
[ He's trying to get to the bottom of this, Gorgug! You have to supply him with clues! Information! Don't make him get Riz for this one! ]
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[ You know, that thing that happens to everyone? So maybe the example didn't get far from what it's actually referring to, but it might still trigger Fabian to imagine the scenario for himself! If he imagines someone doing a thing like that outside his manor home back in Elmville. Or even here.
It totally makes sense, right? This is what's going on? ]
I feel-- annoyed. At myself, and whoever put it there, for not giving-- for not leaving a better message. What kind of question is that?
[ It's dumb!!! They have to be mocking them, right! ]
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[ It's a bit of a slow answer, but it's not disagreeable. It seems more like Fabian is actually thinking this through. It's not like he doesn't know about the sign either, but considering there are so many things his mind gets all worked up about in this place, it didn't register with him as anything more concerning than.. well, everything else.
Clearly it did for Gorgug though. And it feels to Fabian like they're getting somewhere here, so he's pretty determined to follow this thread and see where it leads. Maybe it can help Gorgug. ]
But you can do something about it though, right? Don't they say people always return to the scene of the crime? [ Let's face it: this is probably something Riz said that Fabian has picked up on through spending enough time with their friend. It's not like his father of all people would say that, after all. ]
You could hang out near there to catch them in the act. Beat them up good. Just get those feelings all out! [ Sorry, Gorgug. Of course Fabian of all people would advocate for yelling and fighting out your feelings.. The true Seacaster way.. He even seems kind of energetic about it, despite the fact that they're lying in bed together in a dark room. ]
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And Gorgug should be appreciative. He is on some level, but he also knows what he and Fabian are talking about isn't really the issue. Is it? That's the thing, in that Gorgug doesn't know what's wrong. Sure, he feels pent up sometimes, and he is annoyed about the big giant sign, but is standing around waiting for some guy to show up really what he wants to do?
...
...he doesn't want to think about it, really. He continues his staring at the ceiling for a few more seconds, making more faces at it before he turns on his side to face Fabian in his monotone form. ]
What if I didn't and I made out with you instead?
[ Doesn't that seem like a better use of time? What if they stopped talking about this completely, actually? ]
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.. except then that excitement drops off his face real quick when the other says that.
Which is strange, considering Fabian always seems really excited to make out with Gorgug under any other circumstances. But the problem is that he gets what the other is doing here, it's-- ]
You're trying to distract me!
[ And not being very subtle about it! Sorry, Gorgug, but you really need to work on that charisma stat, alright.
Fabian moves his hands out, pushing against Gorgug's chest to get him to lie back down. It'll probably require some cooperation on the other's part, given the strength difference, but Fabian will take the absolute first next opportunity he gets to roll on top of the other one again. ]
It's not working, Gorgug. I'm not letting go! This is important!
cw: suggestive touching
See, usually, Gorgug listens when Fabian puts his hands on him to push him back. And he makes a disappointed face when he hears Fabian see what he's doing, but the thing is: he still wants to do it. And so while Gorgug doesn't know what he's missing out on, he's going to try and lean his head in and to start kissing on Fabian's face despite his complaints. ]
I heard you, we'll do it tomorrow- [ You know, the thing they were talking about, shouting at people on the other side of the barrier or something. Meanwhile, Gorgug's slipping a hand under the covers, to try and give his distraction the help action via rubbing his palm over Fabian's pyjamas between his legs. ]
I just wanna think about you now.
[ (comme onnnn
get distracted) ]
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But the flesh is so weak. Too weak to his boyfriend. ]
Gorgug.
[ It's almost a groan. Not one of pleasure, okay!! One of frustration!! Why must you be like this. ]
Can you even promise me that we would do it tomorrow, and that you won't just try this all over again then?
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He looks at Fabian's eye, considering his answer. ]
I'll tell a bot to look outside the barrier in case that guy ever comes back.
[ See? He's being so good. He'll tell his bot to do a useless task so it seems like something is happening and being done.
But Gorgug isn't done eyeing Fabian, nor thinking. What does he want to do right now? Well... ]
Can I jerk you off now?
[ B-bro? ]
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No one told him dating was going to be this difficult. Why didn't anyone warn him!!! ]
Do you want to that badly?
[ This is his last piece of resistance.
It's weak as shit, for the record. ]
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I might wanna do more if you tell me to.
[ He speaks low, hinting; his hand stroking slowly, as if he's still wanting on Fabian's full agreement.
As if he doesn't already have it, for the most part. ]
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[ Now that definitely is the sound of Fabian's resistance fully shattering. ]
Gorgug, you're so--
[ So.. what? Who knows. Probably something along the lines of him being too tantalizing to Fabian, but the latter doesn't finish his sentence when he's too busy adjusting his position a little bit so Gorgug has even easier access to go ahead. ]
Just using your hand is fine. I don't-- [ Fabian's expression shifts, almost a touch more shy. ] I don't want to keep you up all night.
[ Especially when Fabian was trying to get Gorgug to have some healthier sleep habits in the first place! As much as he wants this, it's defeating the purpose!! ]
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Fabian. He wants to put all his attention on Fabian, already so nicely firm in his hand, but even like this he's holding back. Or so Gorgug thinks so, content with jerking him off to begin with, but that hint that Fabian might want more makes Gorgug focus his gaze back onto him, nothing shy about the way he looks at him. ]
Tell me. What would keep me up all night?
[ There's nothing deliberate in Gorgug's tone. It's direct, straightforward--What do you want?, asked again in another way. ]
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But that would be awkward at this point. Gorgug is pushing back too much. And Fabian doesn't want to argue when all of this is for Gorgug's sake in the first place, to make sure he's alright. Arguing with him sure isn't going to do a thing about his rage nightmares.
So something about him seems a little.. awkward. Reluctant. Not reluctant to do what they're talking about, but more reluctant to speak in the first place. It feels like he isn't doing the right thing, but there's no road towards the right thing either. Maybe all he can do right now is tire out Gorgug, actually. To let him sleep so deep that no rage could even occur to him.
Which means that Fabian does speak up honestly, does confess - even if it takes a moment for his reluctance to make way enough for him to speak. ]
Let me ride you.
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Before he pulls his hand back out from Fabian's pyjamas bottoms and underwear. ]
Okay, [ he says in agreement, looking at Fabian again, before pulling back his body this time, so as to lay himself back on the bed. Maybe he should tell Fabian that he likes the idea, say something more than just that one-worded response, but he kicks back the blanket with his feet instead, gets distracted by the anticipation of it. Wanting to see Fabian move, to follow his lead. To even have him above him, and have his hands on his sides again.
But he does pull at the waistband of his bottoms, in a sluggish manner. Not sure if he should pull everything all the way down, if he should take a hold of himself, start to get himself hard for what Fabian wants. He does do some of the latter, but he's not committed, since--
Fabian might have other ideas about how he wants to go. And Gorgug might just be willing to comply. ]
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Not really. But it's happening, apparently. Fabian likes to think he at least knows Gorgug well enough in this department to know when the other is into something or not - it tends to be a little more difficult to discern with a guy whose main emotion is just looking incredibly blank half of the time - and he can tell that Gorgug at least does like this.
Maybe not quite externally excited yet, but-- that can change. Especially as Fabian starts peeling himself further away from Gorgug, pulling his shirt off and tossing it onto the ground, and with the same smooth motion turns on his bedside lamp on its low light setting.
The light isn't exactly necessary for this, but Fabian likes it. He wants Gorgug to watch him. This is practically him putting on a show for the other - which is most of the reason he took off his shirt. Well, that, and he doesn't want his sleepwear getting all dirty over this, thanks. It's the middle of the night, there's nothing he's going to be able to do about it if that happens!
As he starts reaching over to rummage through his nightstand to look for some lube, Fabian turns his head a little so his eye can look over at Gorgug, seeing what the other is getting started on. ]
You can start getting yourself hard. [ A little more rummaging, and he manages to fish the bottle out of the nightstand, sitting back up a little bit more properly on the bed. ] I mean, not that it should be all that difficult when you see me.
[ He grins a little as he's saying it - kind of difficult to tell if he's just being playful about it or if he really means that. Likely a little bit of both, knowing Fabian's ego. ]
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But that's okay. Fabian's looking down at him, straightened up again, that cocky smile of his on his face. Gorgug follows the instruction as an afterthought (it's not the main course), and seeing Fabian up there with a height he doesn't usually have is useful, if not for the reason Fabian is preening about. ]
I like seeing you like this. [ It's spoken more honest than anything else, a second taken to consider saying it at all, but he feels he--should be honest? Would Fabian like to know? Or maybe it isn't entirely innocent. Can anything be entirely innocent when you're letting your gaze travel over your boyfriend's body with your hand jerking off your dick at a steady pace?
Thinking about his hips moving once he starts to ride him, the way it'll feel--
It's not that difficult at all. He rests his other hand on Fabian's thigh, resting it there; eyes looking to it, and then looking back at Fabian. Still taking him in, wondering. ]
Do I look different?
[ Is it different for Fabian? ]
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It's the other's question that distracts him then. It momentarily halts his actions, sitting there naked with the bottle as he looks over at Gorgug. It's hard to fully see the other in the lamp's very low light, but Fabian smiles all the same. ]
Different how?
[ But even though he asks a clarifying question, Fabian doesn't seem to wait for the answer. He may be getting back to work - coating his own fingers with lube - but he keeps talking at the same time, even if he's not directly looking at Gorgug now. ]
I want you to look at me. [ A second, and then he clarifies: ] That's what I like seeing from you.
[ He starts positioning himself a little better to be able to finger himself open, letting out a soft sound as he slips a first finger into himself. ]
I like seeing what effect I have on you.
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Fabian can see him better from up there, surely. Looking down on him, seeing everything, but choosing to witness him in a way nobody else is. It's nice, isn't it? Having someone's attention. Fabian likes it, has admitted as much, but Gorgug's never been one to openly seek it out in the way that Fabian makes sure to have eyes on him. He just likes people being forward, obvious about their interest.
I want you to look at me. I like seeing what effect I have on you. ]
You've got a good view to do that, [ he says, perhaps a little lamely. He doesn't know how else to give Fabian what he wants, though he considers taking off his shirt briefly, dismissing the idea in the same thought.
Gorgug knows he'll be able to give Fabian what he wants, and there's no worry about him being eager to accept Fabian when he's ready. He looks away just to search where Fabian put the lube so he can reach over, squeezing out some of the content to put over his own hand, to let temperature mellow out against his palm.
It's not his own dick that he wraps that hand around eventually, though. It's Fabian's, who he thinks deserves some attention again--to let him deal with fingering himself, and getting jerked off with steady strokes at the same time. Gorgug watching what he's doing to get started, but looking back up at Fabian. Doing what he asked. ]
You're always looking up at me. I like-- looking up. Once in a while.
[ Is that strange? He's embarrassed to admit it, but it's true. He likes it--a lot. ]
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He didn't expect that hand to end up on his dick though. And he-- he likes it, of course. Opening yourself feels so much better when your boyfriend is jacking you off at the same time, that much is true. Fabian still tries to pay attention despite the immediate effect the sensation has on him, especially when he's still two fingers deep in his own ass at this point, and his brain attempts to think about those words. About Gorgug liking to look up. Is it just because he's into taller people - freakishly tall people, to be taller than even Gorgug! - or maybe something else too? Looking up does have certain implications, after all. Maybe Fabian is projecting, thinking what he likes about Gorgug being taller than him.
And while he can't really provide the strength that comes with, he can provide something else. He likes it sometimes when Gorgug gets all bossy.
Is Gorgug into that too? Would that distract him from his nightmares, keep them at bay? ]
Don't touch me. [ Fabian says - not snippy, making him not sound angry, but he definitely sounds firm. He even lightly bats at Gorgug's hand with his own free hand.
It's hard to sound confident while fingering yourself open, but damn it if Fabian isn't going to try, looking at Gorgug's face and eyes the entire time. ]
I'm in charge right now. I want you to just lay there and watch me while you jerk yourself off until I'm ready. [ He's definitely going to need more than two fingers to be able to fit Gorgug's dick, that's for sure. A bit more. ]
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