[ It's an easy resistance to bypass, or to break through. Gorgug leans his head forward, presses his lips firmly onto Fabian's to bring him into a brief but meaningful kiss, his lower lip lingering to keep it for longer. He doesn't move far when he breaks it, his hand rounding back to the rim of Fabian's pyjamas, to dip into where he's been teasing; his breath speaking on Fabian's skin as much as his words do, as: ]
I might wanna do more if you tell me to.
[ He speaks low, hinting; his hand stroking slowly, as if he's still wanting on Fabian's full agreement.
As if he doesn't already have it, for the most part. ]
[ Now that definitely is the sound of Fabian's resistance fully shattering. ]
Gorgug, you're so--
[ So.. what? Who knows. Probably something along the lines of him being too tantalizing to Fabian, but the latter doesn't finish his sentence when he's too busy adjusting his position a little bit so Gorgug has even easier access to go ahead. ]
Just using your hand is fine. I don't-- [ Fabian's expression shifts, almost a touch more shy. ] I don't want to keep you up all night.
[ Especially when Fabian was trying to get Gorgug to have some healthier sleep habits in the first place! As much as he wants this, it's defeating the purpose!! ]
[ He pauses for a microsecond, just to let Fabian adjust; but then his hand continues, the words already breathed--whether approvingly, in frustration, or whatever else--leaving their own mark on Gorgug, though he doesn't want to think about himself right now. They've been talking too much about him.
Fabian. He wants to put all his attention on Fabian, already so nicely firm in his hand, but even like this he's holding back. Or so Gorgug thinks so, content with jerking him off to begin with, but that hint that Fabian might want more makes Gorgug focus his gaze back onto him, nothing shy about the way he looks at him. ]
Tell me. What would keep me up all night?
[ There's nothing deliberate in Gorgug's tone. It's direct, straightforward--What do you want?, asked again in another way. ]
[ For how eager Fabian usually seems to have all attention turned towards him, no matter how much of it there is all at once, he doesn't seem quite as excited about it right now. Maybe it's because he feels like he should be continuing to push Gorgug a little bit.
But that would be awkward at this point. Gorgug is pushing back too much. And Fabian doesn't want to argue when all of this is for Gorgug's sake in the first place, to make sure he's alright. Arguing with him sure isn't going to do a thing about his rage nightmares.
So something about him seems a little.. awkward. Reluctant. Not reluctant to do what they're talking about, but more reluctant to speak in the first place. It feels like he isn't doing the right thing, but there's no road towards the right thing either. Maybe all he can do right now is tire out Gorgug, actually. To let him sleep so deep that no rage could even occur to him.
Which means that Fabian does speak up honestly, does confess - even if it takes a moment for his reluctance to make way enough for him to speak. ]
[ Considering how he was thinking about Fabian before, the idea is welcomed by his body when his mind pictures it, having Fabian above him. His hand slows, though it hadn't been that fast to begin with, his gaze drifting in the momentary consideration he gives the situation.
Before he pulls his hand back out from Fabian's pyjamas bottoms and underwear. ]
Okay, [ he says in agreement, looking at Fabian again, before pulling back his body this time, so as to lay himself back on the bed. Maybe he should tell Fabian that he likes the idea, say something more than just that one-worded response, but he kicks back the blanket with his feet instead, gets distracted by the anticipation of it. Wanting to see Fabian move, to follow his lead. To even have him above him, and have his hands on his sides again.
But he does pull at the waistband of his bottoms, in a sluggish manner. Not sure if he should pull everything all the way down, if he should take a hold of himself, start to get himself hard for what Fabian wants. He does do some of the latter, but he's not committed, since--
Fabian might have other ideas about how he wants to go. And Gorgug might just be willing to comply. ]
Not really. But it's happening, apparently. Fabian likes to think he at least knows Gorgug well enough in this department to know when the other is into something or not - it tends to be a little more difficult to discern with a guy whose main emotion is just looking incredibly blank half of the time - and he can tell that Gorgug at least does like this.
Maybe not quite externally excited yet, but-- that can change. Especially as Fabian starts peeling himself further away from Gorgug, pulling his shirt off and tossing it onto the ground, and with the same smooth motion turns on his bedside lamp on its low light setting.
The light isn't exactly necessary for this, but Fabian likes it. He wants Gorgug to watch him. This is practically him putting on a show for the other - which is most of the reason he took off his shirt. Well, that, and he doesn't want his sleepwear getting all dirty over this, thanks. It's the middle of the night, there's nothing he's going to be able to do about it if that happens!
As he starts reaching over to rummage through his nightstand to look for some lube, Fabian turns his head a little so his eye can look over at Gorgug, seeing what the other is getting started on. ]
You can start getting yourself hard. [ A little more rummaging, and he manages to fish the bottle out of the nightstand, sitting back up a little bit more properly on the bed. ] I mean, not that it should be all that difficult when you see me.
[ He grins a little as he's saying it - kind of difficult to tell if he's just being playful about it or if he really means that. Likely a little bit of both, knowing Fabian's ego. ]
[ It's not the most romantic lead into this, but does sex have to be? Fabian wants it, and Gorgug does too, and if Fabian wants to get to the part where he's riding Gorgug's dick, then Gorgug is fine with getting them there. Even if his hand around his dick is slow, distracted as he watches Fabian and what he might do, say--which is to encourage him. Almost like a command, but only for a split second.
But that's okay. Fabian's looking down at him, straightened up again, that cocky smile of his on his face. Gorgug follows the instruction as an afterthought (it's not the main course), and seeing Fabian up there with a height he doesn't usually have is useful, if not for the reason Fabian is preening about. ]
I like seeing you like this. [ It's spoken more honest than anything else, a second taken to consider saying it at all, but he feels he--should be honest? Would Fabian like to know? Or maybe it isn't entirely innocent. Can anything be entirely innocent when you're letting your gaze travel over your boyfriend's body with your hand jerking off your dick at a steady pace?
Thinking about his hips moving once he starts to ride him, the way it'll feel--
It's not that difficult at all. He rests his other hand on Fabian's thigh, resting it there; eyes looking to it, and then looking back at Fabian. Still taking him in, wondering. ]
[ Fabian was still in the middle of getting prepared - taking off his pants, then his underwear, letting those drop to the ground as well while he takes the cap off the lube.
It's the other's question that distracts him then. It momentarily halts his actions, sitting there naked with the bottle as he looks over at Gorgug. It's hard to fully see the other in the lamp's very low light, but Fabian smiles all the same. ]
Different how?
[ But even though he asks a clarifying question, Fabian doesn't seem to wait for the answer. He may be getting back to work - coating his own fingers with lube - but he keeps talking at the same time, even if he's not directly looking at Gorgug now. ]
I want you to look at me. [ A second, and then he clarifies: ] That's what I like seeing from you.
[ He starts positioning himself a little better to be able to finger himself open, letting out a soft sound as he slips a first finger into himself. ]
[ The effect he has on him, I want you to look at me. Gorgug doesn't turn away the gaze he already has on Fabian, but he feels an added weight to it then, upon Fabian's direction, his preference. It's not an uncomfortable one, as there's something in there that Gorgug likes as well: He likes to be seen. He wants to be seen, and he feels the connection between Fabian's interest and his own.
Fabian can see him better from up there, surely. Looking down on him, seeing everything, but choosing to witness him in a way nobody else is. It's nice, isn't it? Having someone's attention. Fabian likes it, has admitted as much, but Gorgug's never been one to openly seek it out in the way that Fabian makes sure to have eyes on him. He just likes people being forward, obvious about their interest.
I want you to look at me. I like seeing what effect I have on you. ]
You've got a good view to do that, [ he says, perhaps a little lamely. He doesn't know how else to give Fabian what he wants, though he considers taking off his shirt briefly, dismissing the idea in the same thought.
Gorgug knows he'll be able to give Fabian what he wants, and there's no worry about him being eager to accept Fabian when he's ready. He looks away just to search where Fabian put the lube so he can reach over, squeezing out some of the content to put over his own hand, to let temperature mellow out against his palm.
It's not his own dick that he wraps that hand around eventually, though. It's Fabian's, who he thinks deserves some attention again--to let him deal with fingering himself, and getting jerked off with steady strokes at the same time. Gorgug watching what he's doing to get started, but looking back up at Fabian. Doing what he asked. ]
You're always looking up at me. I like-- looking up. Once in a while.
[ Is that strange? He's embarrassed to admit it, but it's true. He likes it--a lot. ]
[ For a second Fabian looks surprised. Gorgug grabbing the lube too wasn't that weird - he did figure the other might want to use some of that to get himself going as well, to ease his grip a little bit.
He didn't expect that hand to end up on his dick though. And he-- he likes it, of course. Opening yourself feels so much better when your boyfriend is jacking you off at the same time, that much is true. Fabian still tries to pay attention despite the immediate effect the sensation has on him, especially when he's still two fingers deep in his own ass at this point, and his brain attempts to think about those words. About Gorgug liking to look up. Is it just because he's into taller people - freakishly tall people, to be taller than even Gorgug! - or maybe something else too? Looking up does have certain implications, after all. Maybe Fabian is projecting, thinking what he likes about Gorgug being taller than him.
And while he can't really provide the strength that comes with, he can provide something else. He likes it sometimes when Gorgug gets all bossy.
Is Gorgug into that too? Would that distract him from his nightmares, keep them at bay? ]
Don't touch me. [ Fabian says - not snippy, making him not sound angry, but he definitely sounds firm. He even lightly bats at Gorgug's hand with his own free hand.
It's hard to sound confident while fingering yourself open, but damn it if Fabian isn't going to try, looking at Gorgug's face and eyes the entire time. ]
I'm in charge right now. I want you to just lay there and watch me while you jerk yourself off until I'm ready. [ He's definitely going to need more than two fingers to be able to fit Gorgug's dick, that's for sure. A bit more. ]
[ Fabian commands, and Gorgug listens. Not without a surprise--he hears Fabian's tone, and his hand stutters around Fabian's dick before he stops. Blinking rapidly, meeting Fabian's gaze on him, meeting with the rest of his instruction.
It turns something in his belly, a sensation that makes its way to his own dick, the confidence that Fabian relays it with. He has to watch him, and he has to jerk himself at the same time--Fabian will see him doing it, and there's something a little embarrassing about it, but also exhilarating. There was no indication that Fabian was in this kind of mood before, but Gorgug isn't against it, is he? Doing what Fabian tells him.
Having him watch him do it. ]
... Okay, [ he says slowly, retracting his hand away and taking it back to himself. No immediately getting to work, gaze searching Fabian's face not for anything particular, but as if needing to register that he is still watching, paying attention as he implied he might be with that tone. But eventually he does wrap his fingers around himself, tugging, quickly spying where Fabian's hand has gone to work his own entrance to prepare him; a part of Gorgug wanting to offer to help, but that's not he's been told to do: he knows what he's meant to do, and that's whatever Fabian tells him.
It doesn't make it easier. Fabian's eyes above, the parts of him Gorgug isn't allowed to touch. Gorgug's sure he could get off just by that gaze alone, wondering what's going through Fabian's head, and some part of him wanting to put on a show for Fabian, but not knowing what that would entail--he's never been a flashy as Fabian, given their previous talks about Gorgug's lack of boasting abilities.
But still, he can't ask, or say, can he? Talking wasn't part of his instruction, so he's mindful of how he touches himself, that he doesn't do too much; maybe with a face that's embarrassed and unsure, like he might want to say something, but.
Look. He's being good. He's doing as he's been told. ]
[ Fabian's eye is on Gorgug the entire time. It isn't really easy, because trying to open himself up is not really the easiest thing to do, and not being jerked off at the same time makes the process tougher - but this is all happening with a purpose. Which is part of the reason why Fabian is staring at Gorgug so intently, even as he's working on himself. He's trying to find out what's on the other's mind by seeing what's on his face.
It's around the time that he's pushing in a third - groaning as he does so, at the strain of it all - that he spots something on Gorgug's face that he does think he recognizes. ]
You look like you want to say something. [ Fabian has to exhale a deep breath, trying to adjust to the pressure inside of him in this moment, but then adds with that same confident tone as before, just way more breathy, almost husky now: ] Say it.
[ There's a sound Gorgug makes in the back of his throat that's involuntary, choked on when Fabian says those last two words. Say it. He has to grip his dick, stop even the slow, uneven pace he was going at, even though Fabian told him to keep that up, too.
It's not that he doesn't want to do for Fabian, and it would be so easy, but... ]
...I don't know I can keep jerking off when you're doing that, [ he admits, his voice a note shy, gaze trying to drift off, but looking back at Fabian. ] Not if you wanna ride me.
[ Which is also a pleasant reminder to his dick, and this is the problem: he's getting treated far too well. He doesn't want to finish so quickly when Fabian's only just going to get started when he inserts him in. ]
He looks a little bit surprised. Sure, this is the effect he wanted to have on Gorgug. But as much as Fabian is used to getting all material things he wants, sometimes navigating certain social things is still a bit of a surprise - especially when he hasn't dated anyone like this before. It makes the hold he's able to have on the other something.. surprising. Something nice. Fabian likes that it can catch him off guard like this.
It makes him move his fingers inside of him a little bit more eagerly, wanting to get himself ready more quickly.
(And really - Gorgug saying that is enough of a turn on that it really, really helps in that department.) ]
Oh?
[ Fabian sounds surprised, but not in a genuine way like his reaction a moment ago. Instead there's something much more playful to his tone.
Teasing. ]
Then stop. [ Even if that can't be pleasant, considering Gorgug got himself hard and all, but-- look, Fabian isn't even fully trying to edge him on purpose, he's going as fast as he can here to get himself ready to ride the other! ] Why don't you instead tell me how hot I am until I'm ready for you?
[ Gorgug picks the most sexy response he can in this situation.
He whines. ]
You already know you're hot! You do everything to make sure you're hot! [ That's not faaaair, Fabian wants to make Gorgug more flustered than he already is! ] You're gonna fuck me! And you're giving me that smug look and using that voice with it...!
[ It's like Fabian is torturing Gorgug by the way he's relaying how hot he is, which might not sound like positives with the way that Gorgug's going about it. His expression isn't much better, but it's like a guy trapped: being turned on with his dick in his hand (should he let go? he doesn't know what to do right now) while his boyfriend's looking down at him and being so teasing about it.
[ Who cares if it's positive as long as it's still very much meant? If anything, Gorgug's clear desperation and frustration makes it even more obvious to Fabian that he means what he says - and that Fabian's approach here is working. Gorgug sure isn't thinking about rage nightmares anymore or other stuff that's upsetting him, that's for sure.
.. well, other than Fabian, but he will actually give Gorgug what he wants. Especially when he feels that he's finally stretched himself enough, pulling his fingers out of his ass. ]
Don't worry. [ He says, moving closer to Gorgug, leaning over the other's form on the bed. ] When have I ever not given you something you wanted?
[ Fabian leans over enough to kiss him - but it's a very brief kiss, since he figures Gorgug is probably just going to whine more when he's still hard and Fabian still isn't helping anything with that.
So rather than adding more words, Fabian decides to add more action. He shifts his own body over Gorgug's until he finds a pose that he can endure for a little while, his knees on the bed and his ass hovering over Gorgug's dick. It takes some looking and aiming, but Fabian moves himself onto Gorgug's dick. At first still teasingly - only letting the tip touch him - but then slowly forcing himself to fully sink down onto the member.
Fabian would like to look all sexy and seductive doing it, but taking Gorgug in this way is a lot. There's no time to look sexy on purpose when he's too busy groaning at the way he's filled up now. ]
[ If he wasn't worked up--sexually, flustered--then maybe he could give Fabian better what he wants. But it's difficult, watching the guy you're dating, that you have sex with, are having sex with right now ask to be called hot, and-- he likes things like that, Gorgug knows.
But it makes his brain dizzy, like he's being tested; and there's a version of him that would be better in this situation that he can't bring out. Someone who can give Fabian all that he wants, tell him words that don't try and enter Gorgug's brain, and come stuck like a clogged up drain. Tell me how hot I am. What's there to tell? Just look at Fabian, his shirt off and his dick hard, and there's a reason why Gorgug couldn't keep jerking himself off.
And that reason is hovering over him, making Gorgug feel smaller than he is with Fabian's presence. In a good way--like Fabian could do anything, and will.
He accepts the kiss, and manages not to whine. Wants to a little, when he feels like he's being teased, but there's a more prominent part of Gorgug (his dick, and Fabian's reassurance) that keeps him quiet, hoping, expecting. Every thought has gone to between his legs (along with his blood), and he should be looking at Fabian's face, but he's trying to look between their bodies, failing.
But he doesn't fail to feel him. He gasps, a short intake of air, as warmth wraps around his cock; just the tip to begin with, but Gorgug is alert, tries to see again. His hands twitch at his sides, hesitating when Fabian told him not to touch him before. But as that warmth spreads down in, as he watches the face that Fabian makes, he lets his hands find Fabian's knees, hooking around the leg there. His mouth open, and he doesn't hide the faces he makes; vulnerable, dazed, cheeks flushed dark. There's thoughts entering his mind about pushing his hips up to dig his cock farther in, an urge to grit his teeth, to think about Fabian's skin.
It comes, it leaves him. He's behaving, watching Fabian's expression when he groans and curling his toes so as to stop his own urges. ]
You're hot, [ he says--so weakly. So trying. Just so he can get to the part he wants, needs. ] Pl-please move.
[ He wants to watch Fabian so badly, even if it might be a bad idea when he's already so excited over the thought of it. ]
[ The words come so breathless, and it's how Fabian feels too in this moment. Breathless. For all of his dumb confidence about this plan, for all of him wanting to take charge, this is a lot more to handle than he thought it'd be.
Not that it's uncomfortable. There's some pain from the pressure, from the angle, but it also feels so damn good that Fabian really doesn't care. He could get split in two from just sitting here on Gorgug's dick like this and he'd take it right now, actually.
But he truly needs that moment to adjust to the pressure. It's likely a very torturous moment for Gorgug. It would have been even if the other hadn't already been so hard and worked up - since Fabian truly is looking particularly hot in this moment, his eyes closed, his mouth hanging open to release noises every single time his body shifts even the tiniest bit. He looks overwhelmed and focused all at the same time, sweat shining on his skin despite not having moved yet.
He knows he has to move though. For Gorgug, and for himself too, because the sensation of being filled is great, but Fabian knows he needs more friction than this to be able to climax as well. So-- ]
Keep holding my legs. [ He manages to force out, still sounding a little breathless. He needs Gorgug to do that for him so Fabian can do the rest of it. The half-elf puts his hands on Gorgug's body in turn, using both that and the way Gorgug is holding him as leverage to move his body up, and then lowering himself again with a loud moan. ]
D-Didn't think.. [ Another time.
A breath. ]
.. this would be a workout.
[ Now he doesn't stop. Even if it's intense in so many ways, Fabian keeps moving, bouncing up and down on the other's dick. ]
[ It's hard. A lot is hard right now, but having Fabian sitting on his neck and doing something as simple as adjusting himself to this fact makes Gorgug's head feel full, makes him suck in a breath to witness and be a part of. Does Fabian get it, that this is what he was talking about? Fabian knows he's hot, surely; Gorgug knows he's good-looking, that his body is as attractive as the work that he puts into it, keeping fit despite his inability to work around a kitchen.
Gorgug keeps holding, with no desire to let go before Fabian's input. And when he starts to move, as Fabian's body rises and pulls away from his cock, then comes back in slow, testing movements, his fingers grip into the muscle that they were already holding onto it. Not in any other indication than a need to grip them into something.
As Fabian finally starts riding him, whether confidently, fumbling, or with an average speed. It's good, watching him and the sounds of his ass sliding back down on him, the slick slapping noise when he lowers. The pace is calm enough to not pull Gorgug immediately over the edge, and this is what he needs; embarrassing, probably, when they've only really just started, but is it his fault? When Fabian was putting a show on for him, and telling him to pleasure himself to it. Like he wouldn't have done the same any time before, and especially the first time they ever had sex, with Fabian draping himself back with his cock hard through his silk trousers.
(Because Gorgug's never completely forgotten about that.)
And now he sees that same cock, bobbing each time that Fabian moves his hips--the same cokc he hasn't been permitted to touch. Gorgug's gaze rolls over it as he watches Fabian's lower half, then rises it up to his face, the expression he might be making now. This is what he gets into, when it comes to Fabian. Or was it his fault for asking to jerk him off in the first place?
Gorgug can't complain. That would mean having a brain for much else, when there's already been a small silence between when Fabian last spoke, and when Gorgug seems to finally find his voice beyond the small pants that filter in with Fabian's exercise. ]
It's... you're.... [ A silence, the words jumbled in his head. ] You're doing-- good.
[ Wherever the confidence had been for him that time on the train, the dirty talk is not in the room with them tonight. He tried. ]
[ There's no scolding over Gorgug's lack of sexy talk in this moment. Fabian probably isn't expecting it - especially when he's really in no position himself at the moment to participate in much of it either. Gorgug may have been more stimulated already to begin with, but with the sheer amount of effort Fabian has to put in here (and how new doing it this way is, on top of it) his own brain has also lost quite some of his capacity to think at all.
The only thought left in there, embarrassingly, is how good it feels to be filled up with Gorgug like this, leaving Fabian's own untouched dick so hard in this moment. It's absolutely fully erect right now, though he still doesn't move to touch it.
(Maybe he can't, considering how much he seems to need to hold down his own hands against Gorgug to be able to push himself up and then back down on the other's dick.)
Fabian's facial expression also makes it pretty apparent he's just getting lost in all of this. His eye is closed, and he's not even responding to what Gorgug is saying, except to keep moving on Gorgug's cock.
The only thing comes out moments later, and absolutely full of want that it's practically shameless now-- ]
[ There's a feeling in him already, when Fabian speaks. His mouth empty, and the way he wants to fill it with Fabian's skin, to have him there, if only he was closer. Any part of him; his neck, his shoulder, or even sucking on his jaw. It's a desire he gets, and when he hears his own name on Fabian's lips--
He grits his teeth, and he doesn't need to think: a hand goes for Fabian's dick, and he starts pumping him. It's clumsy in spots, working against when Fabian moves his hips to push up and down on his cock, but he works past it, won't complain if Fabian pauses his exercise to receive some attention of his own. Even though Gorgug is already on the cusp, edging, and he doubts he'll be able to make Fabian reach it too before he can hold on.
Whatever Fabian chooses to do, if he's still trying to continue or pauses for Gorgug, there's a desperation, a clue that Gorgug might need to finish first before Fabian, when: ]
I'll suck you-- if you keep going, I'll, you can finish in my mouth, wherever you want, please.
[ Just the smallest clue. Who knows if Fabian can catch onto it.
Granted, it's probably for the best that Gorgug is being so obvious here. This situation is not only affecting Gorgug's own capability for thought, but it's very much doing the same for Fabian's, especially with him feeling even more turned on now there's not just Gorgug's dick up his ass, but also the other's hand on his own dick.
He idly bats at that hand, wordlessly telling Gorgug to stop touching him if he wants this. Fabian did stop the moment Gorgug started jerking him off, the feeling making his body feel like it's turning to jelly, like he can't even control it, let alone move.
It's only when the other's hand is off his dick that he can start to move again. ]
Come on. [ It's little more than a whisper at this point, Fabian's voice almost sounding hoarse.
Gorgug can't be far off, he thinks, starting to move as fast as he can, despite exhaustion already starting to set into his muscles, no matter how hard his cock still is right now. ]
Do it. [ A pant. ] Come-- [ Another one. ] Come in me, Gorgug.
[ Because he feels like he might just collapse if the other doesn't do so soon. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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I might wanna do more if you tell me to.
[ He speaks low, hinting; his hand stroking slowly, as if he's still wanting on Fabian's full agreement.
As if he doesn't already have it, for the most part. ]
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[ Now that definitely is the sound of Fabian's resistance fully shattering. ]
Gorgug, you're so--
[ So.. what? Who knows. Probably something along the lines of him being too tantalizing to Fabian, but the latter doesn't finish his sentence when he's too busy adjusting his position a little bit so Gorgug has even easier access to go ahead. ]
Just using your hand is fine. I don't-- [ Fabian's expression shifts, almost a touch more shy. ] I don't want to keep you up all night.
[ Especially when Fabian was trying to get Gorgug to have some healthier sleep habits in the first place! As much as he wants this, it's defeating the purpose!! ]
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Fabian. He wants to put all his attention on Fabian, already so nicely firm in his hand, but even like this he's holding back. Or so Gorgug thinks so, content with jerking him off to begin with, but that hint that Fabian might want more makes Gorgug focus his gaze back onto him, nothing shy about the way he looks at him. ]
Tell me. What would keep me up all night?
[ There's nothing deliberate in Gorgug's tone. It's direct, straightforward--What do you want?, asked again in another way. ]
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But that would be awkward at this point. Gorgug is pushing back too much. And Fabian doesn't want to argue when all of this is for Gorgug's sake in the first place, to make sure he's alright. Arguing with him sure isn't going to do a thing about his rage nightmares.
So something about him seems a little.. awkward. Reluctant. Not reluctant to do what they're talking about, but more reluctant to speak in the first place. It feels like he isn't doing the right thing, but there's no road towards the right thing either. Maybe all he can do right now is tire out Gorgug, actually. To let him sleep so deep that no rage could even occur to him.
Which means that Fabian does speak up honestly, does confess - even if it takes a moment for his reluctance to make way enough for him to speak. ]
Let me ride you.
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Before he pulls his hand back out from Fabian's pyjamas bottoms and underwear. ]
Okay, [ he says in agreement, looking at Fabian again, before pulling back his body this time, so as to lay himself back on the bed. Maybe he should tell Fabian that he likes the idea, say something more than just that one-worded response, but he kicks back the blanket with his feet instead, gets distracted by the anticipation of it. Wanting to see Fabian move, to follow his lead. To even have him above him, and have his hands on his sides again.
But he does pull at the waistband of his bottoms, in a sluggish manner. Not sure if he should pull everything all the way down, if he should take a hold of himself, start to get himself hard for what Fabian wants. He does do some of the latter, but he's not committed, since--
Fabian might have other ideas about how he wants to go. And Gorgug might just be willing to comply. ]
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Not really. But it's happening, apparently. Fabian likes to think he at least knows Gorgug well enough in this department to know when the other is into something or not - it tends to be a little more difficult to discern with a guy whose main emotion is just looking incredibly blank half of the time - and he can tell that Gorgug at least does like this.
Maybe not quite externally excited yet, but-- that can change. Especially as Fabian starts peeling himself further away from Gorgug, pulling his shirt off and tossing it onto the ground, and with the same smooth motion turns on his bedside lamp on its low light setting.
The light isn't exactly necessary for this, but Fabian likes it. He wants Gorgug to watch him. This is practically him putting on a show for the other - which is most of the reason he took off his shirt. Well, that, and he doesn't want his sleepwear getting all dirty over this, thanks. It's the middle of the night, there's nothing he's going to be able to do about it if that happens!
As he starts reaching over to rummage through his nightstand to look for some lube, Fabian turns his head a little so his eye can look over at Gorgug, seeing what the other is getting started on. ]
You can start getting yourself hard. [ A little more rummaging, and he manages to fish the bottle out of the nightstand, sitting back up a little bit more properly on the bed. ] I mean, not that it should be all that difficult when you see me.
[ He grins a little as he's saying it - kind of difficult to tell if he's just being playful about it or if he really means that. Likely a little bit of both, knowing Fabian's ego. ]
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But that's okay. Fabian's looking down at him, straightened up again, that cocky smile of his on his face. Gorgug follows the instruction as an afterthought (it's not the main course), and seeing Fabian up there with a height he doesn't usually have is useful, if not for the reason Fabian is preening about. ]
I like seeing you like this. [ It's spoken more honest than anything else, a second taken to consider saying it at all, but he feels he--should be honest? Would Fabian like to know? Or maybe it isn't entirely innocent. Can anything be entirely innocent when you're letting your gaze travel over your boyfriend's body with your hand jerking off your dick at a steady pace?
Thinking about his hips moving once he starts to ride him, the way it'll feel--
It's not that difficult at all. He rests his other hand on Fabian's thigh, resting it there; eyes looking to it, and then looking back at Fabian. Still taking him in, wondering. ]
Do I look different?
[ Is it different for Fabian? ]
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It's the other's question that distracts him then. It momentarily halts his actions, sitting there naked with the bottle as he looks over at Gorgug. It's hard to fully see the other in the lamp's very low light, but Fabian smiles all the same. ]
Different how?
[ But even though he asks a clarifying question, Fabian doesn't seem to wait for the answer. He may be getting back to work - coating his own fingers with lube - but he keeps talking at the same time, even if he's not directly looking at Gorgug now. ]
I want you to look at me. [ A second, and then he clarifies: ] That's what I like seeing from you.
[ He starts positioning himself a little better to be able to finger himself open, letting out a soft sound as he slips a first finger into himself. ]
I like seeing what effect I have on you.
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Fabian can see him better from up there, surely. Looking down on him, seeing everything, but choosing to witness him in a way nobody else is. It's nice, isn't it? Having someone's attention. Fabian likes it, has admitted as much, but Gorgug's never been one to openly seek it out in the way that Fabian makes sure to have eyes on him. He just likes people being forward, obvious about their interest.
I want you to look at me. I like seeing what effect I have on you. ]
You've got a good view to do that, [ he says, perhaps a little lamely. He doesn't know how else to give Fabian what he wants, though he considers taking off his shirt briefly, dismissing the idea in the same thought.
Gorgug knows he'll be able to give Fabian what he wants, and there's no worry about him being eager to accept Fabian when he's ready. He looks away just to search where Fabian put the lube so he can reach over, squeezing out some of the content to put over his own hand, to let temperature mellow out against his palm.
It's not his own dick that he wraps that hand around eventually, though. It's Fabian's, who he thinks deserves some attention again--to let him deal with fingering himself, and getting jerked off with steady strokes at the same time. Gorgug watching what he's doing to get started, but looking back up at Fabian. Doing what he asked. ]
You're always looking up at me. I like-- looking up. Once in a while.
[ Is that strange? He's embarrassed to admit it, but it's true. He likes it--a lot. ]
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He didn't expect that hand to end up on his dick though. And he-- he likes it, of course. Opening yourself feels so much better when your boyfriend is jacking you off at the same time, that much is true. Fabian still tries to pay attention despite the immediate effect the sensation has on him, especially when he's still two fingers deep in his own ass at this point, and his brain attempts to think about those words. About Gorgug liking to look up. Is it just because he's into taller people - freakishly tall people, to be taller than even Gorgug! - or maybe something else too? Looking up does have certain implications, after all. Maybe Fabian is projecting, thinking what he likes about Gorgug being taller than him.
And while he can't really provide the strength that comes with, he can provide something else. He likes it sometimes when Gorgug gets all bossy.
Is Gorgug into that too? Would that distract him from his nightmares, keep them at bay? ]
Don't touch me. [ Fabian says - not snippy, making him not sound angry, but he definitely sounds firm. He even lightly bats at Gorgug's hand with his own free hand.
It's hard to sound confident while fingering yourself open, but damn it if Fabian isn't going to try, looking at Gorgug's face and eyes the entire time. ]
I'm in charge right now. I want you to just lay there and watch me while you jerk yourself off until I'm ready. [ He's definitely going to need more than two fingers to be able to fit Gorgug's dick, that's for sure. A bit more. ]
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It turns something in his belly, a sensation that makes its way to his own dick, the confidence that Fabian relays it with. He has to watch him, and he has to jerk himself at the same time--Fabian will see him doing it, and there's something a little embarrassing about it, but also exhilarating. There was no indication that Fabian was in this kind of mood before, but Gorgug isn't against it, is he? Doing what Fabian tells him.
Having him watch him do it. ]
... Okay, [ he says slowly, retracting his hand away and taking it back to himself. No immediately getting to work, gaze searching Fabian's face not for anything particular, but as if needing to register that he is still watching, paying attention as he implied he might be with that tone. But eventually he does wrap his fingers around himself, tugging, quickly spying where Fabian's hand has gone to work his own entrance to prepare him; a part of Gorgug wanting to offer to help, but that's not he's been told to do: he knows what he's meant to do, and that's whatever Fabian tells him.
It doesn't make it easier. Fabian's eyes above, the parts of him Gorgug isn't allowed to touch. Gorgug's sure he could get off just by that gaze alone, wondering what's going through Fabian's head, and some part of him wanting to put on a show for Fabian, but not knowing what that would entail--he's never been a flashy as Fabian, given their previous talks about Gorgug's lack of boasting abilities.
But still, he can't ask, or say, can he? Talking wasn't part of his instruction, so he's mindful of how he touches himself, that he doesn't do too much; maybe with a face that's embarrassed and unsure, like he might want to say something, but.
Look. He's being good. He's doing as he's been told. ]
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It's around the time that he's pushing in a third - groaning as he does so, at the strain of it all - that he spots something on Gorgug's face that he does think he recognizes. ]
You look like you want to say something. [ Fabian has to exhale a deep breath, trying to adjust to the pressure inside of him in this moment, but then adds with that same confident tone as before, just way more breathy, almost husky now: ] Say it.
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It's not that he doesn't want to do for Fabian, and it would be so easy, but... ]
...I don't know I can keep jerking off when you're doing that, [ he admits, his voice a note shy, gaze trying to drift off, but looking back at Fabian. ] Not if you wanna ride me.
[ Which is also a pleasant reminder to his dick, and this is the problem: he's getting treated far too well. He doesn't want to finish so quickly when Fabian's only just going to get started when he inserts him in. ]
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He looks a little bit surprised. Sure, this is the effect he wanted to have on Gorgug. But as much as Fabian is used to getting all material things he wants, sometimes navigating certain social things is still a bit of a surprise - especially when he hasn't dated anyone like this before. It makes the hold he's able to have on the other something.. surprising. Something nice. Fabian likes that it can catch him off guard like this.
It makes him move his fingers inside of him a little bit more eagerly, wanting to get himself ready more quickly.
(And really - Gorgug saying that is enough of a turn on that it really, really helps in that department.) ]
Oh?
[ Fabian sounds surprised, but not in a genuine way like his reaction a moment ago. Instead there's something much more playful to his tone.
Teasing. ]
Then stop. [ Even if that can't be pleasant, considering Gorgug got himself hard and all, but-- look, Fabian isn't even fully trying to edge him on purpose, he's going as fast as he can here to get himself ready to ride the other! ] Why don't you instead tell me how hot I am until I'm ready for you?
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He whines. ]
You already know you're hot! You do everything to make sure you're hot! [ That's not faaaair, Fabian wants to make Gorgug more flustered than he already is! ] You're gonna fuck me! And you're giving me that smug look and using that voice with it...!
[ It's like Fabian is torturing Gorgug by the way he's relaying how hot he is, which might not sound like positives with the way that Gorgug's going about it. His expression isn't much better, but it's like a guy trapped: being turned on with his dick in his hand (should he let go? he doesn't know what to do right now) while his boyfriend's looking down at him and being so teasing about it.
Truly, it's suffering. ]
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.. well, other than Fabian, but he will actually give Gorgug what he wants. Especially when he feels that he's finally stretched himself enough, pulling his fingers out of his ass. ]
Don't worry. [ He says, moving closer to Gorgug, leaning over the other's form on the bed. ] When have I ever not given you something you wanted?
[ Fabian leans over enough to kiss him - but it's a very brief kiss, since he figures Gorgug is probably just going to whine more when he's still hard and Fabian still isn't helping anything with that.
So rather than adding more words, Fabian decides to add more action. He shifts his own body over Gorgug's until he finds a pose that he can endure for a little while, his knees on the bed and his ass hovering over Gorgug's dick. It takes some looking and aiming, but Fabian moves himself onto Gorgug's dick. At first still teasingly - only letting the tip touch him - but then slowly forcing himself to fully sink down onto the member.
Fabian would like to look all sexy and seductive doing it, but taking Gorgug in this way is a lot. There's no time to look sexy on purpose when he's too busy groaning at the way he's filled up now. ]
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But it makes his brain dizzy, like he's being tested; and there's a version of him that would be better in this situation that he can't bring out. Someone who can give Fabian all that he wants, tell him words that don't try and enter Gorgug's brain, and come stuck like a clogged up drain. Tell me how hot I am. What's there to tell? Just look at Fabian, his shirt off and his dick hard, and there's a reason why Gorgug couldn't keep jerking himself off.
And that reason is hovering over him, making Gorgug feel smaller than he is with Fabian's presence. In a good way--like Fabian could do anything, and will.
He accepts the kiss, and manages not to whine. Wants to a little, when he feels like he's being teased, but there's a more prominent part of Gorgug (his dick, and Fabian's reassurance) that keeps him quiet, hoping, expecting. Every thought has gone to between his legs (along with his blood), and he should be looking at Fabian's face, but he's trying to look between their bodies, failing.
But he doesn't fail to feel him. He gasps, a short intake of air, as warmth wraps around his cock; just the tip to begin with, but Gorgug is alert, tries to see again. His hands twitch at his sides, hesitating when Fabian told him not to touch him before. But as that warmth spreads down in, as he watches the face that Fabian makes, he lets his hands find Fabian's knees, hooking around the leg there. His mouth open, and he doesn't hide the faces he makes; vulnerable, dazed, cheeks flushed dark. There's thoughts entering his mind about pushing his hips up to dig his cock farther in, an urge to grit his teeth, to think about Fabian's skin.
It comes, it leaves him. He's behaving, watching Fabian's expression when he groans and curling his toes so as to stop his own urges. ]
You're hot, [ he says--so weakly. So trying. Just so he can get to the part he wants, needs. ] Pl-please move.
[ He wants to watch Fabian so badly, even if it might be a bad idea when he's already so excited over the thought of it. ]
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[ The words come so breathless, and it's how Fabian feels too in this moment. Breathless. For all of his dumb confidence about this plan, for all of him wanting to take charge, this is a lot more to handle than he thought it'd be.
Not that it's uncomfortable. There's some pain from the pressure, from the angle, but it also feels so damn good that Fabian really doesn't care. He could get split in two from just sitting here on Gorgug's dick like this and he'd take it right now, actually.
But he truly needs that moment to adjust to the pressure. It's likely a very torturous moment for Gorgug. It would have been even if the other hadn't already been so hard and worked up - since Fabian truly is looking particularly hot in this moment, his eyes closed, his mouth hanging open to release noises every single time his body shifts even the tiniest bit. He looks overwhelmed and focused all at the same time, sweat shining on his skin despite not having moved yet.
He knows he has to move though. For Gorgug, and for himself too, because the sensation of being filled is great, but Fabian knows he needs more friction than this to be able to climax as well. So-- ]
Keep holding my legs. [ He manages to force out, still sounding a little breathless. He needs Gorgug to do that for him so Fabian can do the rest of it. The half-elf puts his hands on Gorgug's body in turn, using both that and the way Gorgug is holding him as leverage to move his body up, and then lowering himself again with a loud moan. ]
D-Didn't think.. [ Another time.
A breath. ]
.. this would be a workout.
[ Now he doesn't stop. Even if it's intense in so many ways, Fabian keeps moving, bouncing up and down on the other's dick. ]
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Gorgug keeps holding, with no desire to let go before Fabian's input. And when he starts to move, as Fabian's body rises and pulls away from his cock, then comes back in slow, testing movements, his fingers grip into the muscle that they were already holding onto it. Not in any other indication than a need to grip them into something.
As Fabian finally starts riding him, whether confidently, fumbling, or with an average speed. It's good, watching him and the sounds of his ass sliding back down on him, the slick slapping noise when he lowers. The pace is calm enough to not pull Gorgug immediately over the edge, and this is what he needs; embarrassing, probably, when they've only really just started, but is it his fault? When Fabian was putting a show on for him, and telling him to pleasure himself to it. Like he wouldn't have done the same any time before, and especially the first time they ever had sex, with Fabian draping himself back with his cock hard through his silk trousers.
(Because Gorgug's never completely forgotten about that.)
And now he sees that same cock, bobbing each time that Fabian moves his hips--the same cokc he hasn't been permitted to touch. Gorgug's gaze rolls over it as he watches Fabian's lower half, then rises it up to his face, the expression he might be making now. This is what he gets into, when it comes to Fabian. Or was it his fault for asking to jerk him off in the first place?
Gorgug can't complain. That would mean having a brain for much else, when there's already been a small silence between when Fabian last spoke, and when Gorgug seems to finally find his voice beyond the small pants that filter in with Fabian's exercise. ]
It's... you're.... [ A silence, the words jumbled in his head. ] You're doing-- good.
[ Wherever the confidence had been for him that time on the train, the dirty talk is not in the room with them tonight. He tried. ]
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The only thought left in there, embarrassingly, is how good it feels to be filled up with Gorgug like this, leaving Fabian's own untouched dick so hard in this moment. It's absolutely fully erect right now, though he still doesn't move to touch it.
(Maybe he can't, considering how much he seems to need to hold down his own hands against Gorgug to be able to push himself up and then back down on the other's dick.)
Fabian's facial expression also makes it pretty apparent he's just getting lost in all of this. His eye is closed, and he's not even responding to what Gorgug is saying, except to keep moving on Gorgug's cock.
The only thing comes out moments later, and absolutely full of want that it's practically shameless now-- ]
Gorgug.
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He grits his teeth, and he doesn't need to think: a hand goes for Fabian's dick, and he starts pumping him. It's clumsy in spots, working against when Fabian moves his hips to push up and down on his cock, but he works past it, won't complain if Fabian pauses his exercise to receive some attention of his own. Even though Gorgug is already on the cusp, edging, and he doubts he'll be able to make Fabian reach it too before he can hold on.
Whatever Fabian chooses to do, if he's still trying to continue or pauses for Gorgug, there's a desperation, a clue that Gorgug might need to finish first before Fabian, when: ]
I'll suck you-- if you keep going, I'll, you can finish in my mouth, wherever you want, please.
[ Just a tiny clue. ]
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Granted, it's probably for the best that Gorgug is being so obvious here. This situation is not only affecting Gorgug's own capability for thought, but it's very much doing the same for Fabian's, especially with him feeling even more turned on now there's not just Gorgug's dick up his ass, but also the other's hand on his own dick.
He idly bats at that hand, wordlessly telling Gorgug to stop touching him if he wants this. Fabian did stop the moment Gorgug started jerking him off, the feeling making his body feel like it's turning to jelly, like he can't even control it, let alone move.
It's only when the other's hand is off his dick that he can start to move again. ]
Come on. [ It's little more than a whisper at this point, Fabian's voice almost sounding hoarse.
Gorgug can't be far off, he thinks, starting to move as fast as he can, despite exhaustion already starting to set into his muscles, no matter how hard his cock still is right now. ]
Do it. [ A pant. ] Come-- [ Another one. ] Come in me, Gorgug.
[ Because he feels like he might just collapse if the other doesn't do so soon. ]