[ It's not that out there, at least: going on dates. Even in Etraya, despite the uncertainty presented in the idea to Fabian, but mainly because Gorgug's never considered it before. He was even talking to Rosie about how she should date and be happy, and he'd think the same for any other of his friends.
...just, he's never thought about what they might do. But there's a few cafés around run by the companion bots, so maybe it won't be that weird. It's not like they're in a completely empty city save the people being brought into it by mysterious means. ]
We can. [ It might be a bold statement, despite not being put forward in a bold way. Still: ] If you want to, we will. We'll think of stuff we can do, and-- if we just wanna hang out, we can do that too.
[ There is a very important matter, after all. ] You didn't even get to use the dance rooms yet.
[ Right? Maybe Fabian saw them (or one of them), but, that's a pretty big deal! Dancing is Fabian's thing! ]
[ There's something kind of nice about how easy this seems to be. Or, rather-- how easy Gorgug is making this. With the kind of examples Fabian has had in his life, he always imagined the whole romance thing to be something incredibly complicated. Something where you'd keep having to make up over the top things to do together, like that's the only way you could possibly have a relationship.
He never thought it could be this easy until Gorgug laid it out like this. Just.. hanging out together. That easy.
It's nice. ]
You'd want to watch me dance? [ After all, Gorgug is kind of putting it in the context of a date.. There's a faint blush on Fabian's cheeks as he asks that because of that thought.
I-Is that proper date material? Gorgug said he doesn't like dancing, but if it's a date, he'd have to come along to the dance studio.. So is that what he'd want instead? ]
Sure. It's fun watching you dance. It's-- relaxing.
[ There's not even a grand pause in finding that word. It comes easily, and it's true: while Fabian's moves can be dramatic and involve many flips, there's something fun and soothing in watching Fabian. You know he's having a good time, and you get to have a good time just chilling and watching him. ]
I can bring over some books, too, or some smaller projects. But I like the idea of us hanging out that way... [ He looks up briefly, conceding: ] Anyone can hang out like that, but... it was fun when me and Zelda did that. Schoolwork together. Even if we invite Riz sometimes too, we can have days where it's the two of us.
[ Would it be interesting to Fabian? Is it too casual sounding? Gorgug looks at Fabian, watching him with interest. They can have nice days out, but Gorgug likes the relaxed ones, too. And Fabian's dance studio will be more fun for the other guy than when he comes over to Gorgug's lab and there's nothing to do, right?
...even if Gorgug has nothing to do, he can make that sacrifice for a few hours. Fabian's done it plenty. ]
[ It doesn't seem difficult for Fabian to agree with the idea. Something about it does make him just a touch shy - or maybe just still flustered, judging by the look on his face as he answers.
Maybe it's just sweet. Kind of touching. Even if Fabian hung out at Gorgug's lab plenty of times, this feels different to him. It feels natural to Fabian to give that effort to others, but he doesn't necessarily expect it in return. Hence - this reaction. ]
I like that too. Just spending time together. [ For as over the top as Fabian can be, that sort of thing doesn't have to be too wild.
Just this-- that's enough for him, too. ]
And I'm not really used to people coming out to see me dance like that either. Not-- Not outside of class, I mean. [ He looks over at Gorgug, smiling a little. ] It's nice.
Your dancing is nice. [ No, not just that: ] You're nice.
[ Is he just getting sappy and silly now because he can? You bet'cha. It's just nice, the two of them talking, especially when he got worried a little before that Fabian was going to go through some regret of them having sex in the first place. And he's happy too: that Fabian's happy after the time he's been having lately, and Gorgug can admit to being glad for himself.
That this night has gone so well, and he can feel it, experience it: that he no longer feels so disconnected from his own emotions. It might come back at times, but that's alright.
[ It's sappy and silly. But maybe sappy and silly is just what two bros need, especially when they've been going through a rough while. There's something nice about not having to worry about anything for a few moments. About just sitting here close to each other, and that being the only thing that matters in the moment. ]
So.. [ Fabian starts, slowly, the smile still lingering on his lips. ]
If you can handle a not yet improved bed for tonight, it's about time we make use of this occasion, right? [ He reaches out, and considering Gorgug already came here in his pajamas, there's no need to wait or anything. Fabian can just latch onto the other's wrist and start tugging him down, pulling back the blankets on the bed so they can settle in under them. ] I don't know about you, but someone really tired me out earlier.
[ It's a definite silly tease, because Fabian is still smiling as he says it. The warmth of his smile easily carries into his tone, the way it always seems to do for Fabian. ]
[ Fabian pulls, so Gorgug follows, letting himself drop carefully (even if he doesn't want to, but he should, this is Fabian's bed and not his) down onto the mattress with-- his potentially new boyfriend? Potentially. Apparently. Likely. And that's a new state of things that's buzzing around inside him, as he comes to lay beside Fabian, helping the blankets be pulled across them as Fabian brings them over first.
Not so long ago, he had been afraid to make the first move to touch Fabian in bed, even in a non-suggestive, non-romantic sense. But his fingers search and find Fabian's hand, threading them together. ]
I can tire you out more than that. [ It would be sexy... and it's meant sexily, or just a sort of Gorgug honesty. He moves his face close to Fabian's, his head tipping upwards to make sure he doesn't catch the other on his tusks when he plants a kiss on Fabian's cheek. ] You're gonna need to raise your stamina.
[ Big talk for Gorgug right now... but his own expression is comfortable on the pillow, and he's not trying any funny business. ]
[ There's a little sound coming from Fabian when Gorgug says that.
It's kind of a surprised sound, but also definitely flustered. Like Fabian got caught that much off guard by what Gorgug suddenly so boldly said that his brain needs a moment to try and deal with this. It doesn't help that his mind is already definitely visualizing a thing or two at Gorgug's words, and the thought of that is certainly sexy.
Fabian likes it when Gorgug gets all confident, after all. It may not always come naturally to Gorgug, but that makes the moments when it does all the more hotter. He wants to see Gorgug with this kind of confidence.
Feeling his cheeks burn, Fabian momentarily moves his head forward a little, shoving it against Gorgug's shoulder in an attempt to hide the way his cheeks are darkening with a blush. ]
You didn't warn me that you were going to be like this.
[ It doesn't sound like a complaint, though. Nor a rejection of the idea. There's no denying that there's something pretty eager in Fabian's tone, no matter how flustered it sounds at the same time.
[ Oh? Gorgug watches Fabian with interest, more so when he makes that comment--surprised. He can tell it isn't a real complaint, leaving the small smile playing on his face. ]
Like what?
[ Tell him, Fabian. You've gotta tell a bro(friend) what he's being like. He has to know these things clearly, see.
Even if you might be able to feel Gorgug watching you fondly, despite your attempts to hide your face. Gorgug does like this view too, though--Fabian almost sulking, or shying away, both in a positive sense.
He feels like he's going to start seeing Fabian in a new light, now. He has to pay attention, and learn. ]
A protest that isn't fully a protest, but that has to sound like one because Fabian can't just accept that Gorgug can reduce him to a flustered mess this easily. That isn't right. It can't happen. He-- He's Fabian Aramais Seacaster, after all!
And yet here he is, still hiding his face against his friend while mumbling that word back at him. How dare you be hot, Gorgug? ]
Where have you been hiding all of this all these years? I mean-- We've seen each other naked before! So many times!
[ Never mind the fact that Gorgug would have zero reason to act sexy in the showers after a game of Bloodrush.
It's nice, being called hot by Fabian. It's not that Gorgug has serious hang-ups about his appearance (he's dated! and sure, he's not the usual orc material, but he doesn't do too bad), but it's nice to hear it--nice to hear again, after Fabian already as much, but with a lot more hormones at play.
But what he continues it with is curious to Gorgug--puzzling. Because was he hiding his hotness all these years? Gorgug watches Fabian with interest, even if he isn't looking at him back, and this position is nice enough with them both tucked closely together. ]
I've been this hot all this time. [ Said...so matter-of-factly... ] You just didn't notice. You didn't look. You weren't interested.
[ And isn't it true? Gorgug never thought Fabian would be interested in him, and it never aligned for them -- didn't seem to, until that spar. Like something clocked for them, something sexual, and it opened up a possibility.
But was it just that? With Fabian coming to Gorgug tonight, kissing him as he did-- even Gorgug's wondering, thinking about it. ]
[ He groans. Still not moving back, which means he's just directly groaning against Gorgug now, mind you. It's like Fabian simply refuses to accept the possibility that maybe Gorgug was hot all along and it was just Fabian's fault for not noticing.
That couldn't possibly be it, right? After all, that would mean he could have been kissing Gorgug on the first day of school instead of punching him...
....
He pulls back a little. Just enough so they can actually look at each other, especially as Fabian asks this. ]
Did you always think I was hot?
[ It's like two loading screens trying to figure all of this out.. ]
[ The face that Fabian finds is one of surprise, especially following that question. A blank sort of surprise, confused, if not on the scale that Gorgug's puzzled state usually weigh on. But that confusion does come through more in his voice, when: ]
--Yeah? But you're the kind of guy who dresses himself to tell everyone he's hot. [ And, obviously! ] I have eyes. I can see that you're hot.
[ Isn't it obvious? He doesn't really need to look over Fabian and confirm in this second, is he sure Fabian's hot? Because it's just-- kinda always been the case. Two eyes or one eye. Mental breakdown and mental revitalisation (okay, well, getting his eye torn out or having the worst (second worst?) day of his life wasn't hot, but), Fabian Seacaster has always had-- the looks.
But he's watching Fabian now, curious. ]
Do you feel bad you never noticed?
[ He means about Gorgug being this hot, but he doesn't care to be specific. He's more interested in what Fabian might be thinking about with this knowledge. ]
Now he can't even revel in Gorgug's answer to his question. Now he can't even brag about the fact that he is of course hot as hell. No, Fabian has been put into a Saw trap by Gorgug, who likely doesn't even have any idea of what sort of situation he's putting the poor half-elf in.
Even though Fabian feels himself rapidly getting nervous when he hears that question. Not even because he thinks Gorgug will get mad, it's just-- Something about it makes him feel guilty. Bad. There's something about the fact that he only noticed the more attractive sides of Gorgug this late that feels really, really bad. ]
Uh..
[ .. hence why he can't even answer quickly. Fabian is trying to make sure he absolutely does not have to look at Gorgug right now. He can't. He won't. ]
I-- I mean. It's just-- you know?
[ You know, Gorgug?
You know, right. He doesn't have to say any more than this, right?? Please?? ]
[ You know what Fabian needs a lot of? Time. Usually it's time to speak, and while there's a lack of speaking coherently right now, that doesn't dismiss the fact that Fabian needs space to get his words out. Talking is Fabian's thing. So Gorgug continues to watch Fabian the same as he had been before and when he asked the question, nodding his head a little, and repeating-- ]
You know.
[ He's trying to encourage him to continue! To get his answer out! You can do it, Fabian. You can get your words out!
[ This is absolutely NOT helping. Fabian feels like he's dying. It feels like he can't say it, like he might choke on the words if he tries to force them out, but there's no other option, apparently. Gorgug is never going to pick up on what he's putting down unless he actually says it.
Even though dragging the words out of himself feels like torture. Fabian makes sure to still not look at Gorgug, because he's pretty sure he will instinctively shut up the moment he does.
If there's anything Fabian isn't good at, it's admitting it when he's wrong.. ]
Of-- Of course.. I feel bad. [ He says, slowly.
But he is saying it! Just with way more effort necessary than any normal person would need. ]
If I had realized it sooner, then maybe we could've been like this sooner too. Just imagine how much different things could have been this entire time.
Gorgug doesn't stop looking at Fabian, even though he's not looking at him back. Because he's interested, he is curious: about what Fabian's thinking, what he's feeling. And this doesn't seem like (to him) one of those times where looking away will help. It's about-- them? Him?
And he's not afraid of the answer. Really, he wonders if it wouldn't have taken a particular moment like they had with the spar for Fabian to ever look at him that way. A thought and ponder that's for a future Gorgug to have, if he ever does--or would it take buying a building practically dedicated to Fabian for him to look at him twice?
It's a similar line of thinking that Gorgug comes to, or brushes against when Fabian does finally: Just imagine how much different things could have been. Fabian has regrets; he feels bad now. But none of that resonates with Gorgug--he doesn't feel sad. Would it have been fun to kiss Fabian and have sex with him sooner? Sure, but... ]
We were still friends. We've still been a team. [ His eyes continue to on Fabian, but gentle in their view on him. He's comfortable, content, both in bed with him and with this conversation. With their lot in life. ] And we have now--I'm okay with that. Being here, right now, with you.
We can do what we want. I don't think... we've missed a thing.
[ This is just what their life is. This is what they have. ]
[ If it wasn't for everything that had happened over the past few months, Fabian might have felt a little bit envious about how Gorgug can just say that. And so easily too. It's like the entire sentiment just comes naturally to the other, and that's a wild thought to Fabian. He doesn't think he could ever think about stuff like this so easily.
It's not even a bad thing, really. He'd find it admirable. Sometimes Fabian gets tired of his own overthinking when it comes to certain things - and the thought of just being okay with things as long as they're good in the moment sounds kind of nice.
(Especially to a guy who has constantly been striving to get better, to a point where satisfaction in the moment is hard.)
But Fabian knows things aren't that simple with Gorgug. He knows the other has his own worries, his own struggles. It's just that this one maybe happens to be a little easier to Gorgug than it is to Fabian.
Fabian is quiet for a moment.
But he doesn't look away, nor try to hide. Not even when he speaks up again. He wants to look at Gorgug when he says this, wants to see what the other looks like when he answers. ]
It's a meaningful question. After the past few months, they've both been searching for their own kinds of happiness, and Gorgug himself has been adopting the fake it 'til you make it lifestyle for the past month or so. After the racing mission made it a little easier to focus, and he's been working on being more social with that nudge that he was struggling to find over his hump.
None of that should be a thought right now, in most scenarios. But Gorgug thinks that when Fabian asks that question, his overall mood is being questioned. Or maybe it's about this moment between them, what they've decided on.
Is he happy? ...it's not too difficult of a question, though he does feel Fabian's gaze on him, makes the small smile that presses against his lips feel-- just a tad shy.
But even so. ]
I'm happy. [ He's looking right back at Fabian, a little giddy. Happy enough to lay with his own answer, but asking back after a moment: ] Are you?
[ There's a very brief pause after Gorgug echoes the question right back at Fabian, but it doesn't last too long. Not when Fabian is looking at that small smile on the other's lips, tusks peeking out over it. ]
I'm happy you are here. [ Like this, of course. Not that Gorgug's general presence isn't nice, and not like Fabian isn't so glad to have both him and Riz here with him, that he's not forced to only deal with people who don't understand what their world is like or what he's like-- but there's something about lying here in bed with Gorgug, all close and cozy together, that feels particularly soothing.
It makes it feel easier to not think too hard about this place for the moment. Hence the clarification - Fabian wants Gorgug to know that his happiness in this moment is Gorgug's merit.
Saying that does make Fabian feel just as shy as it makes Gorgug feel though. Maybe that's why he adds, as if out of an instinctive need to pump up his ego again a little-- ]
So.. don't think of going anywhere else. [ O-Okay??
(Don't worry, Gorgug, he's just looking a little bit shy too. Especially by Fabian standards.) ]
[ He's not only looking more shy than he ever does (Fabian, that is)--he's sounding so sweet. A particular kind of sweet than Gorgug is playing close attention to. 'Happy that you're here', 'don't think of going anywhere'.
Like Gorgug has ever thought about going anywhere, of leaving him or Riz. Or should he be considering Riz at all in this equation? Is this simply about him and Fabian, and not leaving him? Gorgug might be feeling a little shy, or had been, but the small smile on his lips is widening; as he considers Fabian's words, watching his face in light of them. ]
In bed, with you? Do I have to stick close by you?
[ He might be teasing... just a little...! But this is the time for Fabian to set his rules, right? What he demands of them. Of Gorgug, in their new relationship. ]
[ Do you know how difficult it is to not look away in this moment, Gorgug? Do you even know the kind of struggle Fabian is going through right now? Because it's a lot! It's a very big struggle!
Not that Gorgug is even asking anything outrageous here. It's just that Fabian has worked himself up so much with talk of certain topics here, and now it makes him flustered when discussing pretty much anything.
Like this. Even though he does answer, the shy and flustered look is absolutely not fading. It's even more obvious when he's actually looking at Gorgug, his pupil practically shaking with the emotions. ]
Y-- Yes! Yes, you have to! [ He's trying to sound so tough, but you know the truth, Gorgug. There's no way you wouldn't, when Fabian is looking so flustered. He can sound like he's making demands all he wants, but his delicate maiden heart is all on display.. ] As close as you can!
[ Ah, as close as he can? Is this as close as he can be? He isn't sure how comfortable it'll actually be, but...
But this is Gorgug shuffling, putting his arm around Fabian's back (as best he can) and now pressing in the two of them against one another, to get rid of the concept of space. It means pressing them together, and going so far as to lift his upper leg above Fabian's to wrap it around, locking limbs-- ]
Like this? You wanna be like this?
[ Is Gorgug being serious? Is he playing? Which one do you believe, Fabian? Because he's really trying to pincer you two into one!! ]
See, the hold is one thing. Like, sure, it does show Fabian just how much bigger than him Gorgug is, but it's fine. It's like a hug. He's been hugged before! Maybe not really much in bed, but-- y-you know! Totally normal!
No, it's the legs that actually get him. That's the part that turns Fabian's cheeks a darker hue with a blush, the half-elf even momentarily gasping for air.
There's just something about it. It goes beyond anything he's imagined with Gorgug, and it's-- It's so--
He's burying his face so hard against Gorgug, because he does not want to deal with this reality. Or rather, he wants it to exist, but he just doesn't want his fluster visible or involved with it. ]
D-Do you want to be like this?!
[ No, his voice is not raising in pitch because of the fluster!!! Don't misunderstand, baka!!!!!! HE IS NOT DYING WHATSOEVER!!!!
Stop being this powerful, Gorgug. It's not fair. ]
At least for Fabian's fragile heart, Gorgug can no longer see his face. It's just the top of his head as he vise-grips Fabian into--not the tightest hold he can, but getting there. All in the name of some fun, but you know, since Fabian's asking him if he likes it--? ]
I've never had something you-size to hold in bed before. It's not bad. [ Hmmm. ] You're like a firm pillow...
[ He's touching at Fabian's back. More muscles around his shoulders than his lower back. And now let's pat around his head of hair. ]
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...just, he's never thought about what they might do. But there's a few cafés around run by the companion bots, so maybe it won't be that weird. It's not like they're in a completely empty city save the people being brought into it by mysterious means. ]
We can. [ It might be a bold statement, despite not being put forward in a bold way. Still: ] If you want to, we will. We'll think of stuff we can do, and-- if we just wanna hang out, we can do that too.
[ There is a very important matter, after all. ] You didn't even get to use the dance rooms yet.
[ Right? Maybe Fabian saw them (or one of them), but, that's a pretty big deal! Dancing is Fabian's thing! ]
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He never thought it could be this easy until Gorgug laid it out like this. Just.. hanging out together. That easy.
It's nice. ]
You'd want to watch me dance? [ After all, Gorgug is kind of putting it in the context of a date.. There's a faint blush on Fabian's cheeks as he asks that because of that thought.
I-Is that proper date material? Gorgug said he doesn't like dancing, but if it's a date, he'd have to come along to the dance studio.. So is that what he'd want instead? ]
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Sure. It's fun watching you dance. It's-- relaxing.
[ There's not even a grand pause in finding that word. It comes easily, and it's true: while Fabian's moves can be dramatic and involve many flips, there's something fun and soothing in watching Fabian. You know he's having a good time, and you get to have a good time just chilling and watching him. ]
I can bring over some books, too, or some smaller projects. But I like the idea of us hanging out that way... [ He looks up briefly, conceding: ] Anyone can hang out like that, but... it was fun when me and Zelda did that. Schoolwork together. Even if we invite Riz sometimes too, we can have days where it's the two of us.
[ Would it be interesting to Fabian? Is it too casual sounding? Gorgug looks at Fabian, watching him with interest. They can have nice days out, but Gorgug likes the relaxed ones, too. And Fabian's dance studio will be more fun for the other guy than when he comes over to Gorgug's lab and there's nothing to do, right?
...even if Gorgug has nothing to do, he can make that sacrifice for a few hours. Fabian's done it plenty. ]
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[ It doesn't seem difficult for Fabian to agree with the idea. Something about it does make him just a touch shy - or maybe just still flustered, judging by the look on his face as he answers.
Maybe it's just sweet. Kind of touching. Even if Fabian hung out at Gorgug's lab plenty of times, this feels different to him. It feels natural to Fabian to give that effort to others, but he doesn't necessarily expect it in return. Hence - this reaction. ]
I like that too. Just spending time together. [ For as over the top as Fabian can be, that sort of thing doesn't have to be too wild.
Just this-- that's enough for him, too. ]
And I'm not really used to people coming out to see me dance like that either. Not-- Not outside of class, I mean. [ He looks over at Gorgug, smiling a little. ] It's nice.
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Your dancing is nice. [ No, not just that: ] You're nice.
[ Is he just getting sappy and silly now because he can? You bet'cha. It's just nice, the two of them talking, especially when he got worried a little before that Fabian was going to go through some regret of them having sex in the first place. And he's happy too: that Fabian's happy after the time he's been having lately, and Gorgug can admit to being glad for himself.
That this night has gone so well, and he can feel it, experience it: that he no longer feels so disconnected from his own emotions. It might come back at times, but that's alright.
Right now, this feeling--it's good. ]
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So.. [ Fabian starts, slowly, the smile still lingering on his lips. ]
If you can handle a not yet improved bed for tonight, it's about time we make use of this occasion, right? [ He reaches out, and considering Gorgug already came here in his pajamas, there's no need to wait or anything. Fabian can just latch onto the other's wrist and start tugging him down, pulling back the blankets on the bed so they can settle in under them. ] I don't know about you, but someone really tired me out earlier.
[ It's a definite silly tease, because Fabian is still smiling as he says it. The warmth of his smile easily carries into his tone, the way it always seems to do for Fabian. ]
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Not so long ago, he had been afraid to make the first move to touch Fabian in bed, even in a non-suggestive, non-romantic sense. But his fingers search and find Fabian's hand, threading them together. ]
I can tire you out more than that. [ It would be sexy... and it's meant sexily, or just a sort of Gorgug honesty. He moves his face close to Fabian's, his head tipping upwards to make sure he doesn't catch the other on his tusks when he plants a kiss on Fabian's cheek. ] You're gonna need to raise your stamina.
[ Big talk for Gorgug right now... but his own expression is comfortable on the pillow, and he's not trying any funny business. ]
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It's kind of a surprised sound, but also definitely flustered. Like Fabian got caught that much off guard by what Gorgug suddenly so boldly said that his brain needs a moment to try and deal with this. It doesn't help that his mind is already definitely visualizing a thing or two at Gorgug's words, and the thought of that is certainly sexy.
Fabian likes it when Gorgug gets all confident, after all. It may not always come naturally to Gorgug, but that makes the moments when it does all the more hotter. He wants to see Gorgug with this kind of confidence.
Feeling his cheeks burn, Fabian momentarily moves his head forward a little, shoving it against Gorgug's shoulder in an attempt to hide the way his cheeks are darkening with a blush. ]
You didn't warn me that you were going to be like this.
[ It doesn't sound like a complaint, though. Nor a rejection of the idea. There's no denying that there's something pretty eager in Fabian's tone, no matter how flustered it sounds at the same time.
He likes the idea. ]
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Like what?
[ Tell him, Fabian. You've gotta tell a bro(friend) what he's being like. He has to know these things clearly, see.
Even if you might be able to feel Gorgug watching you fondly, despite your attempts to hide your face. Gorgug does like this view too, though--Fabian almost sulking, or shying away, both in a positive sense.
He feels like he's going to start seeing Fabian in a new light, now. He has to pay attention, and learn. ]
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A protest that isn't fully a protest, but that has to sound like one because Fabian can't just accept that Gorgug can reduce him to a flustered mess this easily. That isn't right. It can't happen. He-- He's Fabian Aramais Seacaster, after all!
And yet here he is, still hiding his face against his friend while mumbling that word back at him. How dare you be hot, Gorgug? ]
Where have you been hiding all of this all these years? I mean-- We've seen each other naked before! So many times!
[ Never mind the fact that Gorgug would have zero reason to act sexy in the showers after a game of Bloodrush.
Especially with Fabian's towel antics. ]
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It's nice, being called hot by Fabian. It's not that Gorgug has serious hang-ups about his appearance (he's dated! and sure, he's not the usual orc material, but he doesn't do too bad), but it's nice to hear it--nice to hear again, after Fabian already as much, but with a lot more hormones at play.
But what he continues it with is curious to Gorgug--puzzling. Because was he hiding his hotness all these years? Gorgug watches Fabian with interest, even if he isn't looking at him back, and this position is nice enough with them both tucked closely together. ]
I've been this hot all this time. [ Said...so matter-of-factly... ] You just didn't notice. You didn't look. You weren't interested.
[ And isn't it true? Gorgug never thought Fabian would be interested in him, and it never aligned for them -- didn't seem to, until that spar. Like something clocked for them, something sexual, and it opened up a possibility.
But was it just that? With Fabian coming to Gorgug tonight, kissing him as he did-- even Gorgug's wondering, thinking about it. ]
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That couldn't possibly be it, right? After all, that would mean he could have been kissing Gorgug on the first day of school instead of punching him...
....
He pulls back a little. Just enough so they can actually look at each other, especially as Fabian asks this. ]
Did you always think I was hot?
[ It's like two loading screens trying to figure all of this out.. ]
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--Yeah? But you're the kind of guy who dresses himself to tell everyone he's hot. [ And, obviously! ] I have eyes. I can see that you're hot.
[ Isn't it obvious? He doesn't really need to look over Fabian and confirm in this second, is he sure Fabian's hot? Because it's just-- kinda always been the case. Two eyes or one eye. Mental breakdown and mental revitalisation (okay, well, getting his eye torn out or having the worst (second worst?) day of his life wasn't hot, but), Fabian Seacaster has always had-- the looks.
But he's watching Fabian now, curious. ]
Do you feel bad you never noticed?
[ He means about Gorgug being this hot, but he doesn't care to be specific. He's more interested in what Fabian might be thinking about with this knowledge. ]
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Now he can't even revel in Gorgug's answer to his question. Now he can't even brag about the fact that he is of course hot as hell. No, Fabian has been put into a Saw trap by Gorgug, who likely doesn't even have any idea of what sort of situation he's putting the poor half-elf in.
Even though Fabian feels himself rapidly getting nervous when he hears that question. Not even because he thinks Gorgug will get mad, it's just-- Something about it makes him feel guilty. Bad. There's something about the fact that he only noticed the more attractive sides of Gorgug this late that feels really, really bad. ]
Uh..
[ .. hence why he can't even answer quickly. Fabian is trying to make sure he absolutely does not have to look at Gorgug right now. He can't. He won't. ]
I-- I mean. It's just-- you know?
[ You know, Gorgug?
You know, right. He doesn't have to say any more than this, right?? Please?? ]
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You know.
[ He's trying to encourage him to continue! To get his answer out! You can do it, Fabian. You can get your words out!
(And it's not even intentional, truly....) ]
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Even though dragging the words out of himself feels like torture. Fabian makes sure to still not look at Gorgug, because he's pretty sure he will instinctively shut up the moment he does.
If there's anything Fabian isn't good at, it's admitting it when he's wrong.. ]
Of-- Of course.. I feel bad. [ He says, slowly.
But he is saying it! Just with way more effort necessary than any normal person would need. ]
If I had realized it sooner, then maybe we could've been like this sooner too. Just imagine how much different things could have been this entire time.
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Gorgug doesn't stop looking at Fabian, even though he's not looking at him back. Because he's interested, he is curious: about what Fabian's thinking, what he's feeling. And this doesn't seem like (to him) one of those times where looking away will help. It's about-- them? Him?
And he's not afraid of the answer. Really, he wonders if it wouldn't have taken a particular moment like they had with the spar for Fabian to ever look at him that way. A thought and ponder that's for a future Gorgug to have, if he ever does--or would it take buying a building practically dedicated to Fabian for him to look at him twice?
It's a similar line of thinking that Gorgug comes to, or brushes against when Fabian does finally: Just imagine how much different things could have been. Fabian has regrets; he feels bad now. But none of that resonates with Gorgug--he doesn't feel sad. Would it have been fun to kiss Fabian and have sex with him sooner? Sure, but... ]
We were still friends. We've still been a team. [ His eyes continue to on Fabian, but gentle in their view on him. He's comfortable, content, both in bed with him and with this conversation. With their lot in life. ] And we have now--I'm okay with that. Being here, right now, with you.
We can do what we want. I don't think... we've missed a thing.
[ This is just what their life is. This is what they have. ]
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It's not even a bad thing, really. He'd find it admirable. Sometimes Fabian gets tired of his own overthinking when it comes to certain things - and the thought of just being okay with things as long as they're good in the moment sounds kind of nice.
(Especially to a guy who has constantly been striving to get better, to a point where satisfaction in the moment is hard.)
But Fabian knows things aren't that simple with Gorgug. He knows the other has his own worries, his own struggles. It's just that this one maybe happens to be a little easier to Gorgug than it is to Fabian.
Fabian is quiet for a moment.
But he doesn't look away, nor try to hide. Not even when he speaks up again. He wants to look at Gorgug when he says this, wants to see what the other looks like when he answers. ]
You're happy right now?
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It's a meaningful question. After the past few months, they've both been searching for their own kinds of happiness, and Gorgug himself has been adopting the fake it 'til you make it lifestyle for the past month or so. After the racing mission made it a little easier to focus, and he's been working on being more social with that nudge that he was struggling to find over his hump.
None of that should be a thought right now, in most scenarios. But Gorgug thinks that when Fabian asks that question, his overall mood is being questioned. Or maybe it's about this moment between them, what they've decided on.
Is he happy? ...it's not too difficult of a question, though he does feel Fabian's gaze on him, makes the small smile that presses against his lips feel-- just a tad shy.
But even so. ]
I'm happy. [ He's looking right back at Fabian, a little giddy. Happy enough to lay with his own answer, but asking back after a moment: ] Are you?
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I'm happy you are here. [ Like this, of course. Not that Gorgug's general presence isn't nice, and not like Fabian isn't so glad to have both him and Riz here with him, that he's not forced to only deal with people who don't understand what their world is like or what he's like-- but there's something about lying here in bed with Gorgug, all close and cozy together, that feels particularly soothing.
It makes it feel easier to not think too hard about this place for the moment. Hence the clarification - Fabian wants Gorgug to know that his happiness in this moment is Gorgug's merit.
Saying that does make Fabian feel just as shy as it makes Gorgug feel though. Maybe that's why he adds, as if out of an instinctive need to pump up his ego again a little-- ]
So.. don't think of going anywhere else. [ O-Okay??
(Don't worry, Gorgug, he's just looking a little bit shy too. Especially by Fabian standards.) ]
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Like Gorgug has ever thought about going anywhere, of leaving him or Riz. Or should he be considering Riz at all in this equation? Is this simply about him and Fabian, and not leaving him? Gorgug might be feeling a little shy, or had been, but the small smile on his lips is widening; as he considers Fabian's words, watching his face in light of them. ]
In bed, with you? Do I have to stick close by you?
[ He might be teasing... just a little...! But this is the time for Fabian to set his rules, right? What he demands of them. Of Gorgug, in their new relationship. ]
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Not that Gorgug is even asking anything outrageous here. It's just that Fabian has worked himself up so much with talk of certain topics here, and now it makes him flustered when discussing pretty much anything.
Like this. Even though he does answer, the shy and flustered look is absolutely not fading. It's even more obvious when he's actually looking at Gorgug, his pupil practically shaking with the emotions. ]
Y-- Yes! Yes, you have to! [ He's trying to sound so tough, but you know the truth, Gorgug. There's no way you wouldn't, when Fabian is looking so flustered. He can sound like he's making demands all he wants, but his delicate maiden heart is all on display.. ] As close as you can!
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But this is Gorgug shuffling, putting his arm around Fabian's back (as best he can) and now pressing in the two of them against one another, to get rid of the concept of space. It means pressing them together, and going so far as to lift his upper leg above Fabian's to wrap it around, locking limbs-- ]
Like this? You wanna be like this?
[ Is Gorgug being serious? Is he playing? Which one do you believe, Fabian? Because he's really trying to pincer you two into one!! ]
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See, the hold is one thing. Like, sure, it does show Fabian just how much bigger than him Gorgug is, but it's fine. It's like a hug. He's been hugged before! Maybe not really much in bed, but-- y-you know! Totally normal!
No, it's the legs that actually get him. That's the part that turns Fabian's cheeks a darker hue with a blush, the half-elf even momentarily gasping for air.
There's just something about it. It goes beyond anything he's imagined with Gorgug, and it's-- It's so--
He's burying his face so hard against Gorgug, because he does not want to deal with this reality. Or rather, he wants it to exist, but he just doesn't want his fluster visible or involved with it. ]
D-Do you want to be like this?!
[ No, his voice is not raising in pitch because of the fluster!!! Don't misunderstand, baka!!!!!! HE IS NOT DYING WHATSOEVER!!!!
Stop being this powerful, Gorgug. It's not fair. ]
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At least for Fabian's fragile heart, Gorgug can no longer see his face. It's just the top of his head as he vise-grips Fabian into--not the tightest hold he can, but getting there. All in the name of some fun, but you know, since Fabian's asking him if he likes it--? ]
I've never had something you-size to hold in bed before. It's not bad. [ Hmmm. ] You're like a firm pillow...
[ He's touching at Fabian's back. More muscles around his shoulders than his lower back. And now let's pat around his head of hair. ]
With a hard head.
[ New (potential) boyfriend review. ]
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we finally wrapped it... we did it.......