[ His voice falls to a mutter, his eyes closing as he gives that last okay; a desire in him to still cry, to yell as well, even if neither will give him what he wants. To get rid of this horrible uncertainty pressing over him, suffocating. It's easy to fall into moments of silence, where internally, he's anything but calm; unable to stop himself from wondering if something inside him is going to tick over, that he won't start to feel the signs of his rage being agitated. His anger being called forth.
It doesn't come. But it's not easy to feel relief when it feels like it could, even with him being in bed with Fabian like this. Doing nothing. ]
...Riz can come in, if he wants. [ When Gorgug speaks up, it's to say that. Still not looking at Fabian, but because he's keeping both eyes closed than intentionally looking elsewhere. ] I don't want him...thinking I hate him. I don't... He's not different... you're all my friends. I dunno what I said...
[ He does, in bits and pieces. But it's hard to see the events clearly as they occurred: what was said, and what was thought? It's like what happened between them is there in his brain, but it's overwhelming, to try and think of the specificities.
Gorgug breathes, trying not to think on any part of it. Even if brains really don't work like that. ]
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[ His voice falls to a mutter, his eyes closing as he gives that last okay; a desire in him to still cry, to yell as well, even if neither will give him what he wants. To get rid of this horrible uncertainty pressing over him, suffocating. It's easy to fall into moments of silence, where internally, he's anything but calm; unable to stop himself from wondering if something inside him is going to tick over, that he won't start to feel the signs of his rage being agitated. His anger being called forth.
It doesn't come. But it's not easy to feel relief when it feels like it could, even with him being in bed with Fabian like this. Doing nothing. ]
...Riz can come in, if he wants. [ When Gorgug speaks up, it's to say that. Still not looking at Fabian, but because he's keeping both eyes closed than intentionally looking elsewhere. ] I don't want him...thinking I hate him. I don't... He's not different... you're all my friends. I dunno what I said...
[ He does, in bits and pieces. But it's hard to see the events clearly as they occurred: what was said, and what was thought? It's like what happened between them is there in his brain, but it's overwhelming, to try and think of the specificities.
Gorgug breathes, trying not to think on any part of it. Even if brains really don't work like that. ]