Making vehicles go fast is cool. [ How can Gorgug decline on that truth alone? ] You think the speed's the problem, or the-- how many trams are there? I heard they go around all the islands...?
[ Maybe it's a routing problem and lack of trams...? ]
Speed, or how many trams, or how many roads... I just feel like something's off somewhere, you know? It takes so long to get anywhere! Where I'm from, we've got bullet trains in the world that can go over 200 miles an hour.
[WE COULD MAKE SOMETHING MORE ADVANCED. FASTER!!!]
There's not a lot of people, but there's a lot of space with everything spread out. [ That seems to be a big problem. ] 200 miles per hour trains would be cool, but would it be a lot for just a hundred people?
[ No, what if, instead... ]
Teleporters would be cool. But not everyone likes them... [ ... ] But I would.
[He kicks absently at a can, hands in his pockets.]
I guess I have been needing a little of that. Socializing. [Not that he's not social. He just kinda lost all of his friends to amnesia back home, so making more here is essential; not that Gorgug knows that.] You think that's a net benefit enough to keep travel time a tiny bit longer?
[ Oh, is Peter lonely? That's what Gorgug takes from that--he can be perceptive, sometimes! Though he won't immediately jump on it, offering instead: ]
I don't know if it's the real reason she chose what she did, but, it could be a part of it... she left those Valentine cards around, and- they did something? People had to socialise with them, or they got funny in the head?
[ Gorgug so doesn't know...he avoided them like the plague! ]
Yeah. [ He sounds evidently glum even in that first word. ] Do you, have you heard about the Im'mari infection? Were you around? I got hit by that-- it was in me a long time.
[ He vanished? Something about that sounds familiar--he must've told him, Gorgug figures, and thinks nothing more of it.
Instead, he shakes his head lightly. ]
I-- I can tell you. Uh, if you were around when we went into the Moorecroft mission, they had that curfew at night? And it turned out there was something going around at night attacking people if they went outside. And the AI had their bots set to attack people, too.
[ But that's more of an aside. ]
Anyway, it followed us back to Etraya, and Aurora... she had a mission lined up, but when she tried to announce it, it got into her programming. She got shut off. [ He's looking ahead, but comes to a stop near a pile of miscellaneous metal and machinery that he would be going through, if not for the topic. ] I, uh-- I don't remember when I got infected? I think I know how, but... uh, there was this mirror that got cracked that I was working on to... people got stuck inside the mirror...
[ He's losing his place, and he squints as he recognises that. ]
F-forget that. Anyway, it got into Aurora and a few of us, and there was somebody it got inside first, and it was-- I don't know how it was for everyone, but it made you... I got really angry, sometimes, or, I thought I was... I thought everyone would think I was a monster, since I started... I tried doing a lot of bad things. [ He's got his head hung, he's fidgeting, rubbing one of his arms. But he looks at Peter, his brow wrinkled with the worried look he wears. ]
I wanted to make everyone feel... terrible. That's what the Im'mari wanted me to do, to spread it, so I-- that's what I did. But, um, I was watching out for the person who the Im'mari was... the most connected to. I wanted to protect her. [ Sheepishly, awkwardly. ] Other people figured out the connection too, and they came after her, and I guess they managed to take the Im'mari out from her, somehow.
[ It's easier, even though it doesn't feel it--even though there's an anxiety and shame that grips at Gorgug, doesn't make him feel very good at all. Gorgug isn't sure if he explained it adequately, isn't sure what details he's missing, and even shrugs after the fact. ]
I wasn't... I don't remember a lot about the end or if people found something out, but... it hasn't come up again since. I think we're okay.
[Peter looks caught off guard by the mention of Moorecroft. Because he defintiely remembers that, yeah. He certainly remembers the bots getting the drop on him and him getting shot — and after that, he'd had to put aside time to heal up a little. The idea that something was sneaking through the portal with them, and he wasn't aware enough to help? The guilt is immediate.]
I'm sorry. I had no idea...
[He would have tried to help, if he hadn't vanished not long after the Moorecroft mission. Coulda, shoulda, woulda, as they say... After a moment of studying Gorgug in all of his fidgeting and worry:]
[ He can feel the eyes on him, and if anything adds to his nerves, it's that. But--it's Peter, and Peter's been cool, and he said it was okay to ask this, so he tries not to let it show any more than it does.
...which is probably enough, but still. He thinks about Peter's question and then nods, his mouth pulled--not a grimace, but not really a smile. ]
I'm doing better. [ He doesn't avoid Peter's eye when he says it, expressed in a way that does get across he's in a better position than he had been, once. ] I, I asked Aurora to tell me if there's anything that'll mess with our heads, and my friends helped me out... it's kind of something that, you get over with time.
[ Now, he is grimacing. ] But I don't really want it to happen again. I was-- [ a pause. ] I was an asshole.
[Which was important to distinguish, especially here in Etraya.]
But if there's one thing that you can do because of it... it's noticing the warning signs in other people, right? That way, you can try to help someone else who suffered the same thing.
And that's not an assholish thing to do.
[He smiles slightly after, unsure if he's all that comforting. It sucks. To have had something happen, but you weren't there to do anything to help. But it sucks for Gorgug a hundred times more.]
Sure. [ So he hurries to agree, but even as he says that-- would he recognise if someone else was going through something weird? The expression he wears is complicated, and debating on it for a couple of seconds-- ]
I wanted to make a-- you know, something that'd recognise if that thing was in someone? Uh, but I didn't have anything I could scan. None of its data? Unless Aurora's got something still, I don't know..
[ He doesn't go around scanning things or people, but it would be way easier to notice than seeing the symptoms of someone affected from the outside. ]
[That makes him wonder if he'd be able to feel it himself. When Norman switched into the Goblin fully and had dark intention, it had hit him like a sledgehammer. But it would definitely require some imminent danger to be involved... if it even worked in Etraya.]
Some kind of scanner isn't a bad idea at all. Maybe Aurora can make it without a live specimen.
[And it's nice for Gorgug, to have something like that to consider. He clearly feels a little helpless about what had happened, so anything that can give him some power back, Peter supports.]
Yeah-- I'll ask if she has any data on it. Like a...reading.
[ Basically what he was thinking, though he feels dumb sounding it out loud, like his mouth is too clumsy for actual technical terms, despite Peter's own interest in such things. But he feels awkward, quiet for a moment, before, just as awkwardly: ]
Sorry for making things serious. I know you asked, but I don't know, maybe it was too much? We just wanted stuff to build a PC...
[ Should he have held back anyway? Is he being weird? He feels like he's being weird! ]
No way, you don't have to apologize. Sometimes people get serious.
[He gives him a nudge with his elbow.]
Sometimes I get so overwhelmed by my own thoughts or feelings, I don't even get out of bed for most of the day. [His cheeks turn a shade pinker at the admittance, though he does his best to totally play it off.] There's nothing wrong with being — vulnerable. Or... uh, or just being honest with someone else in general.
[ Oh. That is a lot to share, or so Gorgug thinks. Not wanting to get out of bed-- he experienced that after coming off from being infected by the Im'mari, but mainly because he didn't feel like he really existed, or that he wanted to exist. But is that the same as what Peter feels?
He thinks, taking in what Peter says and agreeing with the idea, generally... ]
...is there anything I can do? If you don't feel like getting out of bed? [ He pauses. ] You don't have to get out of bed if you don't want to, but, if you're feeling stressed, then-- I like you. [ He says it after a pause. It's true. Is it odd to say? ] You can... you can always call me, if you wanna talk about it.
[For a moment he's thrown by it, because he actually... was in a much worse headspace before showing up here. But then his brain catches up — duh, Peter, of course people have an extra hard time being kidnapped from their home worlds for the sake of weird and sometimes dangerous missions. Stupid!]
Oh, yeah. It's a lot to deal with, isn't it? Worrying about the fate of your world and always having to wonder what's coming up next. [But that's not the question Gorgug asked. Peter folds his arms, awkward smile softening into something more genuine. It's nice. That people worry. Care. Even if they don't know each other super well. That's one of the reasons he still tries to be the best Spider-Man he can be, you know?]
I wouldn't want to be a bother... but...
That sounds nice, actually. Having someone to call.
[ Gorgug nods when Peter repeats him, and clearly they're on the same page. Clearly! They have a large weight on them, and if that weight is real or not, there's a threat of what could happen when so many people can get brought here, and they have no means of finding out the truth. Of establishing contact back to their own worlds.
So he smiles, timidly, in response to Peter's own, shoving his hands into his pockets. ]
Yeah. I know I've been pretty lucky, knowing people from my school here... but I still worry when-- one of us disappeared, and I don't know if she really went back. Or... if this is all real. Leaving it up to one guy and his AI doesn't instil a lot of confidence.
[ In Gorgug's opinion. He shrugs. ]
Nothing ever feels right. And you don't know... if you should be doing more to make a difference.
Yeah... I know the feeling. I've seen people from home come and go, too.
[Natasha and Yelena, particularly.
He tries not to think about that, because Natasha was particularly horrible to deal with. Knowing even if she went home, it'd just be to her death... It all sucks. But does any of them really know how Etraya works? Enough to be confident people get wherever they're supposed to go?]
Anything we can do to help people here makes a difference.
[He says it with confidence, even despite everything else the place throws at them.]
Even if we can't do some big, dramatic rescue or something... just being there for each other means something. [He grins.] And building a cool computer is a good way to do that.
[ A cool computer can help, and though Gorgug is aware enough to know that Peter's saying it to lighten the mood, maybe, or give them some encouragement, Gorgug knows it doesn't have to be entirely that. Especially since- ]
...I did get some server drives-- from Aurora, [ he explains. Not pensively, but maybe unsure about Peter's reaction. ] Um, a guy wanted to know more about what was up with us, and, I asked to see her server room, and I took them? But I haven't had the time to decrypt them.
I don't know if there's anything useful on them, but if we... maybe we can find something on them? If you wanted to do that together. As a project?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ Maybe it's a routing problem and lack of trams...? ]
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[WE COULD MAKE SOMETHING MORE ADVANCED. FASTER!!!]
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[ No, what if, instead... ]
Teleporters would be cool. But not everyone likes them... [ ... ] But I would.
[ Mini teleporters are cool!!! ]
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I think we kinda already have a 'too much' gene in Etraya.
[He rubs his chin.]
You think teleporters would be in Aurora's budget?
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[ If he were to consider what Aurora might think about teleporters, though... ]
She might have picked the trams so people get stuck on them and she likes everyone socialising. [ ... ] I don't think you can socialise teleporting.
[ That's kind of a goal with her, usually. ]
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[He kicks absently at a can, hands in his pockets.]
I guess I have been needing a little of that. Socializing. [Not that he's not social. He just kinda lost all of his friends to amnesia back home, so making more here is essential; not that Gorgug knows that.] You think that's a net benefit enough to keep travel time a tiny bit longer?
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I don't know if it's the real reason she chose what she did, but, it could be a part of it... she left those Valentine cards around, and- they did something? People had to socialise with them, or they got funny in the head?
[ Gorgug so doesn't know...he avoided them like the plague! ]
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Maybe... sometimes I think this place just likes to make us embarrass ourselves.
I'm just glad I didn't get some romance compulsion.
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[ Gorgug's making a rather anxious expression... ]
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[... He rubs his chin, looking a little worried.]
I think, anyway.
How about you?
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[ Not a fun time... ]
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[He hesitates, looking unsure if he should ask. But...]
What did happen, back there? If you don't mind me asking. If it's not too much to ask. I know a vague idea of it, but...
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Instead, he shakes his head lightly. ]
I-- I can tell you. Uh, if you were around when we went into the Moorecroft mission, they had that curfew at night? And it turned out there was something going around at night attacking people if they went outside. And the AI had their bots set to attack people, too.
[ But that's more of an aside. ]
Anyway, it followed us back to Etraya, and Aurora... she had a mission lined up, but when she tried to announce it, it got into her programming. She got shut off. [ He's looking ahead, but comes to a stop near a pile of miscellaneous metal and machinery that he would be going through, if not for the topic. ] I, uh-- I don't remember when I got infected? I think I know how, but... uh, there was this mirror that got cracked that I was working on to... people got stuck inside the mirror...
[ He's losing his place, and he squints as he recognises that. ]
F-forget that. Anyway, it got into Aurora and a few of us, and there was somebody it got inside first, and it was-- I don't know how it was for everyone, but it made you... I got really angry, sometimes, or, I thought I was... I thought everyone would think I was a monster, since I started... I tried doing a lot of bad things. [ He's got his head hung, he's fidgeting, rubbing one of his arms. But he looks at Peter, his brow wrinkled with the worried look he wears. ]
I wanted to make everyone feel... terrible. That's what the Im'mari wanted me to do, to spread it, so I-- that's what I did. But, um, I was watching out for the person who the Im'mari was... the most connected to. I wanted to protect her. [ Sheepishly, awkwardly. ] Other people figured out the connection too, and they came after her, and I guess they managed to take the Im'mari out from her, somehow.
[ It's easier, even though it doesn't feel it--even though there's an anxiety and shame that grips at Gorgug, doesn't make him feel very good at all. Gorgug isn't sure if he explained it adequately, isn't sure what details he's missing, and even shrugs after the fact. ]
I wasn't... I don't remember a lot about the end or if people found something out, but... it hasn't come up again since. I think we're okay.
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I'm sorry. I had no idea...
[He would have tried to help, if he hadn't vanished not long after the Moorecroft mission. Coulda, shoulda, woulda, as they say... After a moment of studying Gorgug in all of his fidgeting and worry:]
How are you doing now?
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...which is probably enough, but still. He thinks about Peter's question and then nods, his mouth pulled--not a grimace, but not really a smile. ]
I'm doing better. [ He doesn't avoid Peter's eye when he says it, expressed in a way that does get across he's in a better position than he had been, once. ] I, I asked Aurora to tell me if there's anything that'll mess with our heads, and my friends helped me out... it's kind of something that, you get over with time.
[ Now, he is grimacing. ] But I don't really want it to happen again. I was-- [ a pause. ] I was an asshole.
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[Which was important to distinguish, especially here in Etraya.]
But if there's one thing that you can do because of it... it's noticing the warning signs in other people, right? That way, you can try to help someone else who suffered the same thing.
And that's not an assholish thing to do.
[He smiles slightly after, unsure if he's all that comforting. It sucks. To have had something happen, but you weren't there to do anything to help. But it sucks for Gorgug a hundred times more.]
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I wanted to make a-- you know, something that'd recognise if that thing was in someone? Uh, but I didn't have anything I could scan. None of its data? Unless Aurora's got something still, I don't know..
[ He doesn't go around scanning things or people, but it would be way easier to notice than seeing the symptoms of someone affected from the outside. ]
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Some kind of scanner isn't a bad idea at all. Maybe Aurora can make it without a live specimen.
[And it's nice for Gorgug, to have something like that to consider. He clearly feels a little helpless about what had happened, so anything that can give him some power back, Peter supports.]
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[ Basically what he was thinking, though he feels dumb sounding it out loud, like his mouth is too clumsy for actual technical terms, despite Peter's own interest in such things. But he feels awkward, quiet for a moment, before, just as awkwardly: ]
Sorry for making things serious. I know you asked, but I don't know, maybe it was too much? We just wanted stuff to build a PC...
[ Should he have held back anyway? Is he being weird? He feels like he's being weird! ]
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No way, you don't have to apologize. Sometimes people get serious.
[He gives him a nudge with his elbow.]
Sometimes I get so overwhelmed by my own thoughts or feelings, I don't even get out of bed for most of the day. [His cheeks turn a shade pinker at the admittance, though he does his best to totally play it off.] There's nothing wrong with being — vulnerable. Or... uh, or just being honest with someone else in general.
I'm glad you told me.
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He thinks, taking in what Peter says and agreeing with the idea, generally... ]
...is there anything I can do? If you don't feel like getting out of bed? [ He pauses. ] You don't have to get out of bed if you don't want to, but, if you're feeling stressed, then-- I like you. [ He says it after a pause. It's true. Is it odd to say? ] You can... you can always call me, if you wanna talk about it.
I get pretty down about being here, too.
[ If that's what it's even about. ]
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[For a moment he's thrown by it, because he actually... was in a much worse headspace before showing up here. But then his brain catches up — duh, Peter, of course people have an extra hard time being kidnapped from their home worlds for the sake of weird and sometimes dangerous missions. Stupid!]
Oh, yeah. It's a lot to deal with, isn't it? Worrying about the fate of your world and always having to wonder what's coming up next. [But that's not the question Gorgug asked. Peter folds his arms, awkward smile softening into something more genuine. It's nice. That people worry. Care. Even if they don't know each other super well. That's one of the reasons he still tries to be the best Spider-Man he can be, you know?]
I wouldn't want to be a bother... but...
That sounds nice, actually. Having someone to call.
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So he smiles, timidly, in response to Peter's own, shoving his hands into his pockets. ]
Yeah. I know I've been pretty lucky, knowing people from my school here... but I still worry when-- one of us disappeared, and I don't know if she really went back. Or... if this is all real. Leaving it up to one guy and his AI doesn't instil a lot of confidence.
[ In Gorgug's opinion. He shrugs. ]
Nothing ever feels right. And you don't know... if you should be doing more to make a difference.
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[Natasha and Yelena, particularly.
He tries not to think about that, because Natasha was particularly horrible to deal with. Knowing even if she went home, it'd just be to her death... It all sucks. But does any of them really know how Etraya works? Enough to be confident people get wherever they're supposed to go?]
Anything we can do to help people here makes a difference.
[He says it with confidence, even despite everything else the place throws at them.]
Even if we can't do some big, dramatic rescue or something... just being there for each other means something. [He grins.] And building a cool computer is a good way to do that.
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...I did get some server drives-- from Aurora, [ he explains. Not pensively, but maybe unsure about Peter's reaction. ] Um, a guy wanted to know more about what was up with us, and, I asked to see her server room, and I took them? But I haven't had the time to decrypt them.
I don't know if there's anything useful on them, but if we... maybe we can find something on them? If you wanted to do that together. As a project?
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